HELP : I need ur opinion ...

[8sme]

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Hello,

I have this little dilema with a good friend... We been good friends for quiet awhile and through the years we know our limitations as to where our boundaries as friends. I always watch my words or reactions when I get to talk to her hence she is very sensitive, has moods and prefer not to talk how she feels. Not a talkative type and not open how she feels on things. I would say that more often than not, Ng adjust ko to get to know her better and understand her personality deeply. Its just that there are times nga feeling taken for granted ko as well as our friendship. It could be because I have my own character pud nga usahay pg subra na, ma feel na nako how I was treated. I have my moods as well and sensitivity. Through d years pud naa n cia borrowed money... at the start ok pato hangtud na daku na ang amount and n years nlang wala pa n impas though usahay ma feel nako ang willingness nga mubyad cia usahay pud ma feel nako nga n abuse nako. With d utang and everything, still she managed to go out and hang out with friends ... when she does this, ma feel nako nga unsaun napod pg impas sa utang nga sige man laag... Pero, when she ask favor which I know raman pud tanan s iya needs I cant help but lend her money again. The cycle continues... until I reached the thought nga kung mga sige ing-ani dli jud cia maka impas sa utang nako and at the same time Im not helping her to get mature in managin money... my issue now is should I call her attention and tell her how I feel OR should I just stay queit and ako nlang mg control sa mga pahulam nga kuarta? which is which man ako buhaton? PLEASE HELP ... I wanted to keep our friendship... but I also wanted her to get mature sa money matters... I fear to call her attention man pud kay medyo sensitive pud cia bsin mglikay n cia nako nya mkadaut sa friendship namo... I dont want to do that...

Please help fellow istoryans....

[ajol]

first things first.

Where is the money going.... Trace the money flow... is it for school, books, dresses, girl things.

I myself would help if its a NEED and NOT A WANT.
you must dicern is she using the money for her needs or is she using the money for what she wants.

There is a big difference between a want and a need.

Example. Cellphones. If she already has one but she WANTS a newer model. Then that is a different story.
True Everybody needs a cellphone. BUT WANTING a new model is not really necessary.

So know first if she is using your money for the right needs.

If she just goes out to malls, movies, restobars and be with friends. Then I can say she is USING YOU and you are falling for it. SHE knows your weakness.... You have a soft HEART.

You better draw the LINE.... Even if it risks lossing her.... Don't worry you will be better off without her than with her.
Sensitivities should be balance with responsibilities. She is not responsible enough. She is making you as her ATM.

I can already think of scenarios when you ask her about the money she owes you.

she could do like this:

[img width=250 height=187]http://cola.trnd.com/f/shrek_cat.jpg[/img]

or she could say in a sad voice she will look for money.

or she could have crocodile tears.

The point is She is ABUSING you and using sensitivity as a COVER UP.

[ajol]

i've been with girls like this.

It really doesn't feel right. But there is a limit.

After I've decided it should end. I always say "To give and not to count the cost" I helped but she didn't change.

[peg]

try lang ani:

baliha lang gud. ikaw na sad manghulam kwarta. atik atik lang gud. if magpa ulos gani cya , pasabot ana, sincere jud cya. ang katong gi borrow nga money nimo from her, e-save to, unya if manghuwam cya nimo. mao to imo ibalik. aron maka feel cya kung unsay feeling pirmi mo-borrow og money.. unya di sad ka mobayad. ibalik ra to nimo ang kwarta kung motagam na. or ayaw na lang to ibalik kay dako man cya utang nimo. mura an eye for an eye. kung wala jud cyay kwarta aw pasensya na lang. pero if naa ghapon cya, miga jud mo. if mawala lang cya og kalit, mu tunga lang naay kailangan from you, di na cya true friend.

pero kung gusto ka og short cut: sultihi cya sa imong gibati. ingna dayun "pirmi man ka mangulos nako og kwarta uyy.. ang kwarta ginapiko ginapala... i'm not your mader... it's hard... huhuhu", mag drama dayun.. hehe joke.. bitaw teach her, unsaon pag pangita og kwarta.. daghan man klase ang friends. kay naa man uban makig-friendship nimo kay naa kay kwarta. kay sa time nga wala na kay kwarta, diha na nimo makita if true cya.

and then, meet new people pud aron di ka pul-an sa imo miga magcge pangulos og kwarta. kay mag salig mana cya nimo especially if kamo pirmi kuyog.

suggestions lang ni akoa. naa ra nimo if imo e-follow. good luck!

[spoil]

Come up with an emergency need for money.. and before doing so.. try to find out if she actually has the money (ting sweldo and the like).. sturya sturya with friends and all.. para kabalo sad ka pila imo uslon nga kaya ra niya..

Anyway, previous posts are right..
Never be someones "money tree", you are a person.. if you are sensitive to her feelings then she should be sensitive to yours.. as a friend.. kung tinuod man..
If not.. then youre definitely better off without her.. GWAPA? :P

[akosabni]

good if you can have both, but if not

just decide which is more important for you, your friendship or your money

if you decide your friendship forget about her utang, but stop giving her also

if money, pabayri dayon

ot: pwedi mo apply nimo (as friend nga moutang)

[neomorgatory69]

Bitaw dudz, if you feel that youre being abused na, you definitely need to put a stop to it... Lending money is ok if its a NEED, pero if its for things that she can live without, the its best to say no... Like what youve said, gamay pa to sa una nya ni dako na ang iyang i borrow, dont let it escalate more...

I know its hard to decline a friend's request, samot pa nga imo nang best friend, pero think about yourself too... Ikaw ra sad ang ma angil ana...

[8sme]

thank you po ... I appreciate it a lot...

[yokam]

As a friend, you should call her attention. And ask her where are she spending it, it's your right in the first place because it's still yours, the money she borrowed is your property and you just lent it to her, take note, lent not give, what is yours is yours. At the same time, you should tell her because if not, she'll be doing it over and over again, not only to you but to other people as well. And the problem is that, kung maka encounter siya ug tao nga di gyud magpaalkansi, siya ang luoy in the long run.

You say sige ug laag? Laag most of the time would really involve money, sometimes, a lot of money. And this tells me that your friend is really an irresponsible one, sorry for this one. Call her attention, wake her up in what she keeps on doing. If you won't, kamo gihapon ang alkansi. Di ka mabayran, at the same time, magpadayun lang gihapon na iyang sayop nga mga binuhatan.

BTW, keep friends that can help you grow, not the ones who can destroy and bring you down. Set some limits and boundaries and you must have the courage to say "NO".