Enhancing Relationships ? (for the thoughts!)

[Meganda]

---

Trust


TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

[Meganda]

No Pointing Fingers


A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

[Meganda]

Right Speech




There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school. " On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

[Meganda]

No Overpowering


Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

[Meganda]

Creating Perfect Relationships?



A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.


;;;jst for the thoughts....have a nice day...

[Witherwind]

all i can say is wooooooooowwwwwwwww

[mique]

can i add
here are some solicited advice:

1. Don't think in terms of forever. Think of now and forever will take care of itself
2. Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in your relationship. Lasting relationships
don't just happen. They are created.
3. Recognize that all relationships cannot be forever. Recognize their temporary quality, but
continue to act as if they are permanent.
4. Respect the other person's relationships apart form you. If they are important to the one
you care about, they should be important to you.
5. Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.
6. Remove price tags from people. Everyone has worth; the excitement lies in the discovery
of their value.
7. Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give too much, IF you're giving willingly.
8. Don't feel as if you are required to spend every waking hour with those you love. Move
aside from time to time and allow them a separate space too.
9. Never force anyone to do anything for you "in the name of LOVE". Love is not to be
bargained for.
10. Don't be afraid.
11. Realize that you always have choices. It's up to you.
12. Don't allow experience to harden your heart; rather use it to become more aware and
sensitive.
13. Don't smother each other. No one can grow in shade.
14. Don't lose touch in the craziness in you. This, with a large dose of caring, will assure
that your relationship will never be boring.
15. Don't brood. get on the living and loving. you don't have forever.
16. Don't hold on to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.
17. Always start a relationship by asking: Do I have ulterior motives for wanting to relate to
this person? Is my caring conditional? Am I trying to escape something? Am I planning
to change this person? Do I need this person to help me make up for a deficiency in
myself? If your answer to any of these questions is "YES", leave the person alone. He or
she is better off without you.
18. If you take time to talk together each day, you'll never become strangers.
19. Value yourself. The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes.
20. Stop going through life in self-pity, self-blame and the "mea culpa" syndrome. We are
not as bad as we think.
21. Don't make the others problems yours. It only makes solving it twice as difficult.
22. After an argument is over, forget it!
23. Watch for little irritations, they grow into destructive monsters. Verbalize them at once.
24. Let go of pride. It is usually false, creates barriers and prevents closeness.
25. Increase tenderness and intimacy. They are powerful source of nourishment to
relationships.
26. Be compassionate. It is the sure way to understanding and acceptance.

[psyche_08]

things to ponder... beautiful.

[kenoidz]

sak2 dah...pro naa klang usa...u nid 2 luv wd ur whle hrt... :mrgreen:

[sexyjelly]

Love Is Not The Only Reason Why A Relationship Stands For Years. Or Til Forever.
We Might Think That Love Holds The Relationship.. But What If You Love Too Much
And Forget That Love Also Can Weaken Or Worst.. Destroy A Strong Relationship?
I Just Realized That Love Is Not Enough..The Secret Of Having A Strong And Lasting Relationship Is To Trust The One You Love And Accept His/Her Weaknesses Or Mistakes.
It's Not How Many Times You Have Forgiven But How You Have Shown Understanding.