The Doctor
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"
Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"
The Doctor nods, "Hmm."
Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor,
He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"
"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."
_________________
Smart Kid
Young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers
to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters
in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,
"Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber.
"That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young
boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I
ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead
of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied,
"Because the day I take the dollar...........the game's over!"
_________________
Lost in Translation
Back in September 1996, I returned from Russia after living there nearly two years. One of the biggest changes during my absence was the advent of the Internet. My sister decided to surprise me by creating "welcome home" signs in Russian. She went to a website that offered translations and typed in "Welcome Home, Cole." She then printed the translated phrase onto about 20 colored cardboard signs. When I got off the plane, the first thing I saw was my family, excitedly waving posters printed with a strange message. My sister gave me a big hug, and pointed proudly to her creations. "Isn't that great?" she said. "Bet you didn't think I knew any Russian." I admitted that I was indeed surprised -- and so was she when I told her what the signs actually said: "Translation not found."
Smart Kid, Lost in Translation and the Doctor
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