THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2004:

[psyche_08]

---

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert SaysÂ*
[no, really]?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down JaywalkersÂ*
[now that's taking things a bit far]!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?Â*
[not if I wipe thoroughly]!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes OverÂ*
[what a guy]!

Miners Refuse to Work after DeathÂ*
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos]!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial]!

War Dims Hope for PeaceÂ*
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last AwhileÂ*
[you think]?

Cold Wave Linked to TemperaturesÂ*
[who would have thunk it]!

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect HomicideÂ*
[they may be on to something]!

Red Tape Holds Up New BridgesÂ*
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape]?

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery ChargeÂ*
[he probably IS the battery charge]!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough]?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in SpacecraftÂ*
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious SnacksÂ*
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in HalfÂ*
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot DoctorsÂ*
[Boy, are they tall!]



And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds DeadÂ*
Did I read that sign right?



In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER......
PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOORÂ*

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)





Wadaya think? :mrgreen:

[potterboy]

eng-eng-eng...

ouchness.

[Onins]

hahaha gud 1

[jeppoy]

nice...very nice...

[psyche_08]

hahaha! i like this one "Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"

[MrBiddle]

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK

I like this one - oxy***** humor... parehu lang anang Wanted: Male Waitress

[ushanaei]

hahaha...
the winner really deserve its title.

[j_cainglet]

naa sad..in one of the houses...


FOR RENT-BEDSPACERS

(aguy, kinsa may bugaw dha sa blay ninyo?heheh)

[boobadoll]

hahhahahahha! grabe na to?! naa pa lain ani? murag nahurot nakog bulhot sa pagawas sa ilong ang tea nga akong giinom karon! hahahha! pastilan!
Mabuang ko bayot!

[craz_beautiful_ava]

you have to be kidding me..

this is way too hilarious to be true!!!

wahahahaha