To work or not? A dilemma for many moms

[pitsay]

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Many mothers are torn between their jobs and staying home with the children. Not to mention, hubbies are part of it too.

Mind sharing your ideas on this?

[splendid moonlight]

to those who would rather stay with the kids but still want to work, they can always make up something that would not require them to go out of the house and still generate a bit income. but if a bit income is not enough, most mothers are forced to work than stay home. to some mothers, this is the only choice.

[7DMM]

if i'll get married i'll allow my wife to work not unless she decides to stay at home and watch over the kids.when pa kaha ko?

[Galadriel]

i am allowed to work but only within the family confines. he would rather i work for one of the companies that his uncles or his aunties own than work for other companies.

i would very much like to work but he won't allow me. he would rather i stay home and take care of him and the kids.

bitaw lahi ra man jud kung ako mo atiman nila kay mas daghan mo kaon mga bata and siya kung ako mag luto. even the kids, di sila ganahan mag work ko. kinsa na lang daw mo take care nila, mo tutor nila. pero i also would want to have an income of my own. as of now, i am earning a bit maski naa ra ko sa balay. i do online business which is ok ra sa iya and the kids.

[n`gel]

When I was single, I thought being a working mom was okay but when I had my first baby, my priorities and principles in life completely changed. My firsthand experience is that, mommy's are perfectionists. Sa negosyo pa, lahi gyud kung ikaw ang mangunay, same with taking care of family and children. Although here in the US, daghan opportunities for mommy's to find work, pero ang lahi sad diri sa dinha sa ato, no relatives around to watch over my baby if ever I did decide to work. Working mothers here don't have any choice but to leave their children to hired nannys, aside from mahal, dili gyud ta ka siguro nga maayo moatiman sa mga bata, or kaha for older babies like 2 years old, bilin sa daycare, where 4:1 ang ratio.

Taking care of my baby myself was all worth it, bisan extra kapoy kay ako ra gyud usa. Pero, mohilak na gani na akong baby, lay dugay dugay atimanon gyud dayon. Mangihi, malibang sa diaper, ilisan dayon. The very simple details of perfection ba, mitekolosa kaayo ang mga mommy's. Kung yaya pa ang mobantay? Sus.. basin gahilak na ang bata dugay kaayo timplahan ug gatas, or basin uyog uyogon kay sapoton ang yaya (causes shaken baby syndrome). Besides that, nindot kaayo ang bonding, and... masigurado gyud ang physical and mental development sa bata.

Ga-hire mi yaya pag 5 months ni Leah, part-time ra half day aron makatulog ko in the afternoons, pero akong baby monitor ga on gihapon sa pikas kwarto to make sure she's taking good care of her gyud. She speaks Spanish man, then magduwa gani na siya ni Leah, kato ra gyud intawng duwaan niya nga motingog murang duck, pislit pisliton, ang bata intawn sus.. magtutok ra gyud niya. Magkatawa ko. Basin to Leah boring kaayo ang games sa gabantay niya. Ug magsige mabogo ako baby. Hehehe.. maayo gani to temporary lang.

Pero kasabot ko ubang mommy's nga kinahanglan gyud mo work for financial reasons. Pero kung okay lang ang income sa daddy, bahala walay extra uy, agwanta lang gyud usa until the kids start to go to school. Asa raman nang extra income or padatu kung makaeskwela na ang mga bata, then the mommy will have all day free to either work part-time or negosyo. Mao sad ni akong opinion.

I believe I'm best to take care of my baby, or now that she's with my stepmom in Cebu. Pareha man mi ni mama ug prinsipyo when it comes to babies. Niya ko nakat-on nga ang bata nga inatiman, lahi gyud ug development compared to sa gipasagdan lang. And ang bata mohilak tungod kay nanginahanglan something. Either hungry, or wet, si Leah mohilak to naa ra gyud tuyo. Luoy kaayo ang bata helpless, the only way they tell they need something is through crying.

Kahinumdom gyud ko sa amo silingan sa Compostela sa una, pobre sila payag ra ila balay. Ang iyang newborn maghilak gyud halos tibuok gabii, mahibong mi ngano dili gyud mohilom ba, basin kaha natug ra ang mama gi-ignore ra ang anak. I can't understand how other mothers are like that.

Akong tinuod nga mama mismo dili kamao mobantay ug bata, kay sa una kami, yaya gyud nagpadaku namo. Hinanakit na naku niya uy, natagak gud ko hagdanan sa amo balay la pa koy 2 years old, then tagak pud ko sa katre newborn pa ko. Magkamuritsing ra kuno mi sa una ingon sa amo mga silingan kay among mama trabaho man. Among yaya kay tapulan. Pero my parents didn't know about that, kay tua man sila sa work, and inig uli ang yaya kay pa nice nice man dayon. Ang saksi among mga silingan.

Hulat lang gyud ko 5 years until mosugod na school si Leah diri before ko mag part-time. Okay raman unta to kung naa unta mi sa Compostela, tua si Mama Lou ug si Mamay kay sila man nagpadaku namo since grade V ko and ako youngest sister since birth sa akong Mama Lou nagdaku. Sigurado gyud nga maayo mobantay ni Leah. Mao raman cguro ni para naku ang importante kaayong hunahunaon, nga ang bata dili ibilin ug stranger or dili paryente, kung bilin man gani ug paryente, make sure they share the same love and care and concern they have with you.

And, I don't want to find a very demanding job that will take all my mind and time from my family. Kanang walay hunahunaon inig uli sa balay.

[n`gel]

Sakto gyud si Janice, lahi gyud kung ang mama ang moatiman sa mga bata and sa husband sad. Wealth isn't everything, awa ning mga datu, daghan kaayo kwarta pero ilang mga anak dili suod nila, tua suod sa mga yaya, mao mag drugs nalang ilang mga anak, unloved kaayo ilang feeling. Money is not love gyud, my real mom left us since I was in the 5th grade, my papa died 2nd yr college ko, but in between wala gyud mi communication sa amo tnuod mama. Dinha na siya pakita pagkamatay na sa ako papa. Then.. siya dayon nigasto namo college. And manumbat siya namo karon nga naa naku US with my sis about kwarta, nga di daw kuno namo siya love amo kunong love si Mama Lou, amo stepmom. Coz all she knows how to become a mother is give money. While among stepmom, love and care iyang gihatag namo nagdaku mi.

Mao gyud ang memory sa mga anak sa mother gyud, ang love and care, not money.

[splendid moonlight]

the first five years of a child's life will determine how he/she will become in the future. so i've heard.

[downface]

it depends you have to talk to your husbands about those things first..but now its like women are like men..some women gani kay mas taas ug sweldo or mas taas pa ang position..depende na jud ninyo duha kung musugot imong bana unless kung imong bana kay ma insecure and all ayaw na lang kay mag away na jud mu ana..depende na sad sa priorities. :mrgreen:

[vern]

Moved out of MD into the public forums.

[angel_ish]

ill work. have him understand na different na ang world ron. dili na pwede na guys na lg mgwork. mahal na kaayo ang diaper ug gatas, not to mention ang tuition fees pa.

pero depende sad if naa mag take care sa imong anak. if wala, il prioritize my anak. or i can be doing sidelines, line avon or tuitor sa mga elementary kids, or what have you... :mrgreen: