Wife not open to take care of my lola.

[dedrick]

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My lola took care of me till I graduated college and she has supported me throughout her life. I would always remember her washing my clothes, cooking for my favorite food when I was younger. My lola is old now, she's wearing diapers on her sleep and have a hard time walking and taking as she had a stroke before. We used to live in our old house in Cebu where she frequently visits our relatives and my lolo's grave. Now she is staying with my mom in Manila for almost 3 years now, she doesn't like it there and she is not happy with the place. She wants to go back home to our old house in Cebu.

However, my wife do not like the idea of her being responsible for my lola as she have her hands full with our kids already though we have 2 maids for our kids. She is not sold with the idea of hiring another maid for my lola. She feel that it is unfair for her to be taking care of my lola while my mom and her sister are free from the obligations. My mom's sister is poor and doesn't have enough room and money for my lola. By the way, the old house the we we're staying in now is a property of my mom that was given to me, same house where me and my lola used to live.

I always feel that mom should be the one taking care of my her.However,she doesn't like to live in manila and wants to spend her remaining days in cebu. My lola is coming soon and my wife is really angry with me and my mom.I feel also disappointed with my wife as she do not make a step to at least give it a try.

I am working abroad and i supported my lola's medicine and etc. I would really like to take care of my lola , even if i had to do it myself but that is not an option right now. I am now feeling hate and disappointed with my wife. I feel like I married the wrong woman. She want's me to get angry with my mom and block all possible chances of having my lola with her. I already made a fight with my mom about this, but my mom is also bent on sending my lola back home.I feel pity for my lola as she wants to really stay in our place. As if nobody wants to take care of her. She used to live in our old house and I cannot just send her to my aunt's house. I dont know what to do anymore. I have expected my wife to support and stand by my decisions, instead she does the opposite in this issue. I have talked and talked about this to my wife since last year and we still end up having a fight. I am working here and this gives me so much emotional stress and guilt. If only my wife agree with this , there will be no problem at all as I have the finances to support them. I am thinking if this still will not get resolve , I'm going to leave my wife. My lola has just done so much for me and she is in difficult situation. My kids will understand someday. But as much as possible I don't want that to happen. Please help me my fellow istoryans by giving your advice. Thank you.

[jojo_mouth]

I understand your wife's opinion on this.. much better if you get her another house for your wife, since that old house you are currently staying is your "inheritance property" and your Lola has the more right to stay there than your wife. You dont have to leave your wife, luuy ang mga bata (deli ang asawa hehe). Just don't put them in one roof.

[dedrick]

Thank you bro. That's a good advice, i might consider that as an option for wife. It's very hard to please everybody and get stuck somewhere in the middle.

[lhorenzoo]

kasabot ko sa imong dillema bro and hope kita ka og right solution ani.luoy sad kaayo imong lola and to think na she was the one responsible for you and took care of you when you were in college.its really time for you to pay her back especially that she is her twilight years.

[geo25]

I'm not going to force my beliefs to you but this how I see it: Your grams took care of you not because she wanted something in return or she wanted you take care of her when she's old.

[ironmack08]

I'm not going to force my beliefs to you but this how I see it: Your grams took care of you not because she wanted something in return or she wanted you take care of her when she's old.

Lolas taking care of Apo's .... hmm....naa kay point bro....pero mostly sa mga Lola or lolo kay mo support man jud na sila sa ilang mga apo without wanting something in return.... like my lola for instance......

[euan]

Lolas taking care of Apo's .... hmm....naa kay point bro....pero mostly sa mga Lola or lolo kay mo support man jud na sila sa ilang mga apo without wanting something in return.... like my lola for instance......

dli bitaw na mag-expect ang lola na mobawos ka. mosabot ra na cya f dli ikaw personally ang mobantay. pwd imo cya ipa-nursing home. ayaw na lang pugsa imo wife.

[dedrick]

Actually my mom left me to work abroad, she got married had her own life and family in manila now. Murag si lola na ang ako mama, financial support na lang akoa mom. Para nako, dili nako mahimo na mapabay an ako lola. My wife says na basin unsa na huna hunaon sa iya parents and relatives and selfish daw ko k akoa lang family na side ako gihunahuna. And mulaban daw ko sa ako mama (dili sya kasabot na gusto jud sa ako lola muuli ba) permi about this issue. Because of this ako giingnan na dili sa papulion si lola. Then my mom also thinks na unfair daw ko if dili nako papulion si lola kay tigulang na and gusto na daw niya and nausab na daw ko. Hay, lisod kaayo mga tol.

[pinkpumpkin]

u will leave ur wife for the mere reason nga di xa mosugot sa obligation to take care of ur lola oh c'mon.. dude are u serious LOL.. did u ever consider unsa kalisud mag-alaga ug tigulang nakasuway ba ka ug alaga ug bata TS? kay kung unsa kalisud mag-atiman ug bata, in-ana sad kalisud mag-atiman ug tigulang.. kasabot ko sa side sa imo wife. she's not in any way connected to ur lola.. she's not her direct relative so makasabot pud unta ka y di xa ganahan. and isa pa,dili ra na mao iyang dapat atubangon while she's at home. be considerate pud TS ui. ibutang imong kaugalingon sa imong asawa kay di lalim mag-atiman ug tao.

[jojo_mouth]

Take my word bro, you have to relocate your wife out of that inherited house of yours. Your Lola is the most righteous to stay there. Get another house for your wife. Your wife does not own the house.