An engineer in hell
An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer; you're in the wrong place."
So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.
One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great.
We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I'll sue."Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
TRAVELING ENGINEERS
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket."How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant."Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.They all board the train.
The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a rest room and close the door behind them.Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Tickets, please!" The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.The accountants see this and agree it is a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money.When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant."Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.When they board the train all three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Tickets, please!"
Here you go Business Majors!! No competition for the Engineers!
Top Ten Reasons
to DATE An Engineer
1. WE KNOW THE RIGHT HAND RULE.
2. We know it's not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force.
3. According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite.
4. Engineers do it with precision.
5. Projectile motion - need we say more?
6. ME240: The motion of rigid bodies.
7. We have significant figures.
8. We know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship.
9. No "couple" enjoy a better "moment".
10. The world does revolve around us... we choose the coordinate system.
engineer jokes
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