i had my first gf way back in 2007, we were classmates during college.. she graduated first... kani sya wala jud ko paki ani nya during college, during my college days i dont have any gf, honestly torpehun ko na guy and doesnt care much about those love stuffs... i just enjoy what things i have in life... my family has a food business sa mall sa cebu buisness park and it park... tough i have girls before but none of them i consider a gf and love in short Mu2x lang... looser ayu.. haha.. but anaway back, after my graduation this clasmate of mine nagka sugat me sa mall og kalit and then i invited her to our resto have a chat... ana, then we have our numbers, sauna since sugod patung frndster message ni sya nako, pero i ignore and dont reply to messages, in short snub ko....
kani ko girl sige ni sya txt nako og laag kami og amo mga friends. till time na kami lang duha.... she is the one who visits me in our house dira near sa cebu business park.... just 1 minute walk ra duul ra....
to make the long story kani ko miga ni confess sya nako na she likes me sauna pa since atong naa pa sya bf, until samo sige strya nag ka kami.... on my part at first i see na uyab2x ra ni like sa uban ato na time i cannot say inlove na jud ko, as months go na enjoy ko with her...
our family business is not getting well, to be honest wid u am a type of guy na materialistic, naa sad ko mind set na guys should give all things sa babae to make her life comfortable, ako caring jud ko pag katao... i have fears that i cannot give her a good life if naa smthing bad mahitabo samoa... and naa sad ko bisyu materialistic lagi...sige laag barkada...
i ended up going out most of the time sa ko friends na mga anak pud og dagkong tae sa cebu... we wont on to business, illegal business (ie. guns, and other stuffs) for revenue,,and na lulung ko sa casino....because i have moneys... i forgot and ignore my gf.....its stupid.... then comes our first december she didn't went home la province... keep txting me where am i, i always say im busy, i dont reply... i left her on that cold December of 2007...
we met at feb of 2008, dugayu ayu, mad and sad, she broke up with me telling me to reorganize my self first and be a true man....my world suddenly crushes i dont know why, i was thinking na dili ko madutlan....its painful.... but i never give up... as always dili ko mo surrender, which i think my biggest strength.
so i stop what i do... and work in a manufacturing firm in lapu2x as a mechanical engineer...correct my life....bought my self a car... from my previous earnings..... she works in lapu2x sad i tend to close...
i work hard, and wala jud lain babae ako gi apas sya ra jud, wala ko uyab for 2 to 3 years....after nya...

2years after tadang!!! i met her up again... to a new me... i show up, she cried when we met i tot tears of joy, tears of sorrow diay kay naa na sya uyab lain... i was devastated...

but still sa ko gahi ulo.. i still met up with her till times na nag ka close me again sige me date, depsite naa na sya bf.... until naa nahitabu sa amua... we go to other provinces... just the two of us...
she told me she still loves me, loves me more than her bf.... sa ya gi sulti didto ko na inlove nya pag ayu na jud tudo na... kay depsite sa ko mga biunang og ka gago... gi love ghapun ko nya more... i was touch honestly...

sa among pag kyug adto me sa other province bohol, i ask her na mag balik me....
her answer is "is i dont know", i ask her why she told me shes afraid... shes afraid na byaan nako sya someday...
i convince her all of my best na dili na mausab...
she wont belive and shes urging me to find someone else and she told me its hard and scary daw sa yaha among situation...... i was upset to my self so sad... i hate my self,... regrets the past... i want time to come back but cannot... until sa fb i saw her profile sya og ya uyab jud...i feel pain..., pero sige ghapun me kita kay inlove namn jud ko... ako sya drivan permi hatud kuha... ako sya dala sa mga lugar wala pa nya naadtuan... all things happen to us...

till time na i gave her up, not becoz i dont love here anymore, but i see sad na nag lisod sya tungud nako, coz duha ya responsibility, coz i see lang sa pic nya og sya bf, ka feel ko og luuy sa ya bf... kay gi luyu ra nako ya bf binuangan ba....

till this time 2011 feb... nag ka talk me sa fone... shes pregnant and married na last january 2011.....
pag ka dungog nako gkan nya confirm, i hear sa mra rumors, now sya na jud sulti...
mura btaw gi kumot ko kasing2x mura ni saka ko cholesterol.. i nver felt this pain before in my whole life...sakit ni hilak ko, first nako sya na babae ghilakan aside sako mom....its painfull... till now....
i dont know na .....

what should i do guys?

this is my first time post in istorya.net and new member ko...

thank you