We really started as friends,I barely noticed her cause I just see her as a friend.I started playing a prank on her txting as "mysterious man" na may gusto sa kanya w/o expecting something more.we txted every day,gising kana?did you have lunch?i miss you.sleep kana?Good night sweet dreams.Then gus2 nya maki pag EB dw wla akong choice but to see her,di namn sya nagalit we just laughed it off.Still I see her as a friend nothing more.I thought that was the end of it.Then di ko namalayan what happened in the middle basta we just exchanged drop calls.Then One night,in the middle of our conversation,she asked me what If I say I love you?I was shocked then excited.I dropped cal herl back saying I love you too.That's it.Kami na.That was fast,but I'll be honest,I didnt love her yet nung naging kami,nasabi ko lang sigro un kac its my 1st time,shes my 1st gf.I was 1st yr then and she was a sophomore(college).
As days passed by I started to have feelings for her,I started to care for her and started to love her o na develop.The 1st year went smoothly.we were really happy and I couldnt asked for more.Then I met this one girl,she really struck me,the 1st time I saw her,its like the the time stopped,all around you just stop moving,you know that feeling?its like love at 1st sight.I'll be honest I cheated her through thinking about this lady pero not in the sense of having a relationship with her.Our relationship gone bad,I think what they're saying is right,that a woman's insticts is 99.5% true.She confronted me ewith it,sadly I denied it cos I dont want to lose her,yeah,alam ko na I was selfish,I just didnt see it that way before.When I realized our relationship with my gf got worse,I immediately stopped what I had(feelings) with the other.I really did everything to work it out,nagsisi ako etc,I understand too that ang trust nawala di mababalik basta2.when I saw na di na tlaga masalba yung relasyon nmin I tried to end it up cos I dont want to hurt her more and I dont want to deepened that wound Ive caused but she still wouldnt let me go.Ang hirap lang kasi she was already paranoid.kahit family ko kasama ko nagagalit na sya,di na sya pumapayag kahit I called her just to let her hear the voice of my family.Bawal narin ako sumama sa barkada ko(kahit once lang)kahit pansin nga nagagalit nrin sya.Ayw rin ny txt ko barkada ko even their numbers gina erase nya sa cp ko.We talked about the future and I really see her growing old with me..then when we talked about making a family ayaw nya kasi gusto nya sa kanya lng dw attensyon ko.isnt that a bit scary?
We lasted for 3years,not official though.I just started to avoid her,changed my number.Before nyo ko ijudge please hear muna why I decided to do this.After nung nagka problema na kami,di ko alam she secretly got my aunt's number then gina blakmail nya ko through txt,she really did txt my aunt nagkagulo nga pamilya nmn nun.You might asked,anu gina blakmail nya?normal lang sa couple ang magshare problems o anything abt your family kasi nandun yung trust db?Ang prblema lahat ng sinabe ko sa knya tinetxt nya sa tita ko basta di ko magwa o mag agree sa gusto nya.I was really stressed out,my life was really miserable then,na everytime mag beep cp ng tita ko napaparanoid nko kung anu namn itxt.Kahit nga nung di nako nagpakita etc she still txted my aunt but that time iba na,she didnt received any txt from me anymore.Pagod nako eh and ang dami ko tlaga nadamay lalu na mga kuya ko.
Its been 8mos now since we "broke up" then its still hard kasi I did love her,I missed her sometimes.There are times na I think about her I dont know why.Di ko alam if this is guilt or I still want her back?Masisi nyo ba ko to leave her given that situation?Alam ko may mali ako but I regretted that and I really did everything to save that,sa akin lang sana di nalng nya dinamay family ko,maybr if she didnt do that kami parin hangang ngayon.Did I move on?I cant answer that myself.kasi there are times I still see her growing old with me but I wouldnt want to undergo that kind of experience anymore.
but to be honest I really wished her happiness na sana she already found that someone na na di sya sasaktan at paiiyakin gya ng ginawa ko.Maybe it'll hurt me to see her with someone else but her happiness is still what I want
Still wishing shes mine?or just guilt?
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