(Just want to share this one to you guys)
Title: This would be my last thoughts of you .....
Last few months were my confusing moments of existence.
Frustrated with all the plans, dreams and imaginations in my head for both of us.
Back then, I was afraid that you'll be gone and left me with scars and a paralyzed identity.
Wishing and wanting you to be with me in eternity.
I thought the road you've walked was the same road as I was on.
I always felt you are not on my side but pretended you were there and I let myself be blinded of it.
I assumed that I was always part of your plans even though it's evident
with all those stupid and small little gestures you made in which it transformed into a heartache.
You stayed on the sensitive part of my mind which made me think of you almost every second.
As you stay, you carelessly bleed my sanity and made me the other way.
I wasn't contented of it and you became my world -- I don't know but at that time I felt and I know it was the right thing to do.
I was there for you even if it made me sacrifice my way of life.
There was no time that I wasn't on your side when you needed me most.
I have defied the odds that came my way just to let you walk on a path with no misery.
I have utter words to other entities that surrounded us to just leave you with me.
I let the pains passed through my head and my ears
each time you can't even tell your friends that I am your significant other.
How sad is that? How painful it is? With just that little imperfection I have
You never opened your mind to cast your ways for me.
When I was on the edge, I fall apart and broke into pieces
but there was no you that I could see
I became uncertain and clueless to my identity
It has been you that I have ever known in my every day
It has been you and was never been me.
I can't blame you because I should have managed myself to stand up.
I always worried on who's gonna take care of you when I'm gone?
Right now, it's different.
I was more worried of myself.
I wasn't mature enough to put myself into pieces and hold back.
I wasn't wide awake to save some for myself.
And here I am now, a little bit confused and don't know where to start
I can't blame you for everything and I can't just stay this way.
for two months - at least I am considering it short for moving on and letting go
I will remember us way back then but I will leave some of it behind.
I am facing forward and will never look back.
I can tell stories to other people about us but I can't answer them how we ended.
How proud am I to have been with you for six years. I am lucky you have stayed for that long.
Knowing me with all my ups and downs and my insanities.
I can easily tell other people our love story and how I have fallen for you
and especially on my first year of relentless rainy days with you
All because of just wanting you to show me your love for me -- if there was.
It was the first year of relentless begging.
I bet you would smile if you can remember it .. but for me there was nothing more painful than that
Sometimes it hurts when people get tired of me listening to my melodramatic piece
Do you know that when I told them those, there are no more pains!
!!!
I keep myself busy with the new life I have now
I keep bragging them that you are not anymore with me, both in heart and in my mind.
I meet my old friends whom they don't know that I have kept them in my present
and trusted them to still be my friends in the future.
I have left some of my friends behind just like I have left you in my past and
some of them will be with me today and to the next days of my life.
You are now behind me together with the bad memories of all the people
who happened to walk on the road that I am on.
Who criticized me like I never even made a difference in their lives.
and to those who look at me as if I can do no better.
I am with my friends who always wanted me to be firm and sturdy for them.
I am again with my purpose of listening and feeling their pains.
I am again in my sanity in which you never understood.
I am in my world and realm in which you will never understand.
This would be the last thoughts of you.
In this, I haven't spoken everything but I have decided already.
I may not believe in destiny or soulmates.
I may not be as religious as everybody else.
I may not kneel down and go to church.
I may not as good looking and as belonged like the others
but I will always be what I am because of what I have gone through with you and with them...
So long and be happy... I have let you go and I will be moving on....
Slowly I am picking up my pieces and making them whole again.
The scars will be gone and the pains will be forgotten
I am slowly finding my path to where other people love to stay...
So long and be happy... there are no more tears for you...
I will shed this tears again to the one who really deserves it.
I will never make her my world but instead, I'll stay in her world.
the mistakes will never come back and story will be as beautiful as she is....
not maybe right now... but soon....
So long and be happy... I am happy I am not in your world anymore
I treasured you and will smile when I get to think of us.
But I will never go back to where we have led each other before
I will smile and I will be again sturdy...
So long and be happy.....
I have never loved anybody like I have loved you before....
This time.. I will save some for myself and save it to someone more deserving...
so long....
This would be my last thoughts of you .....
Originally Posted by ritchepaul
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