Brothers and Sisters: All About Sibling Rivalry, Bonding, Getting Along~, Problems

[doce_pares]

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Mga istoryans, share ur stories bout dis topic. How did u cope with this stuff?

[diem]

It really depends on how One is educated by One's parents. For my siblings and I, we were taught and we learned to respect each other no matter what, despite the differences.

I never considered that I had any sibling rivalry but maybe because of my position as the Eldest. Perhaps my youngest brother could argue otherwise but he is often competitive with anyone.

Growing up, my siblings and I had our squabbles and fights but harbored no grudge or ill-feelings. We had volatile tempers but these pass like any storm. What held us is the fact we were brothers, we were family, and in the end that is one of the few things you could count on, family. It helps in the relationship that we shared common interests and likes in films, TV, and stuff. We also do activities together as a team, noting that each has a particular strength or contribution.

There was a time when I was a highschool sophomore, that our parents often left us to fend for ourselves for weeks at end. So we decided to assign roles who will be in charge on certain duties. The youngest C was a shrewd hand at money and figures, so it was agreed that he would handle the money that was left for expenses and allowances, making a record to report to our parents later on. I on the other hand, was adept in the kitchen kaya ako ang bahala for the every meals and baons. E who was in the middle and often helped with me or with C on any chore.

As the eldest, I was to ensure their security and guidance, E was to keep balance between me and C who often is contentious, and C was practical as a house manager. We did well.

Family is important. Your siblings share with you that no one else in the world can share, not even your parents, and that is your blood. You do not completely have your mother's blood, nor your father's. Offspring are a genetic mixture of the parents, and only your siblings share that heritage. So to cope with any crinks in this valuable relationship, just remember the following:

1) Recognize your sibling as a seperate individual. S/he has good and bad attributes. Accept the bad, Love the good.
2) Share something with your sibling, be it a common activity. Find time to bond with him/her. Get to know your sibling, or let him/her get to know you.
3) Communication is intergral in any relationship.
4) You and your siblings should constantly affirm your bond as family. Like I often do with my brothers, I say, "You're my brother..." or "Hey bro..."
5) Don't bear grudges. You can fight at times then just forget about it. Do not bear grudges.
6) Parents are human. They can be allowed to have favorites. A male friend's younger sister is clearly the apple of her daddy's eye but the young lady adored her kuya, she would rather spend time being with him rather than the Father. Love is all around. It is expressed in different ways to different people but Love is all around.

Perhaps these suggestions are difficult to grasp especially by people who had problematic relationships with their siblings. All I can say is that I'm grateful that I'm blessed to have a close relationship with my brothers and I pray for those to have the Time, Chance and Will to have the same with their siblings

[Galadriel]

diem is right. this all depends on how childeren were raised by parents. i envy how you guys were raised diem.

my parents, especially my mom, always tells me "ikaw ang mo sabot kay ikaw maguwang." this has always been her mantra to me everytime my younger sister and i have some fight. which i find not fair towards me. even my aunts will tell me, just understand and follow your mom. i am so tired of always fighting for what i believe in and for always having to be the bad one because i always don't want to give in especially when i know i am right. that is why my younger sister grew up to be quite a spoiled brat. but now that we are all grown up and have our own families already, i opted to stay away from them,that is why we now live on our own far from their prying eyes, to shy away from any possible altercations. i don't have any problems towards my youngest sister. we understand each other. maybe it is just with the eldest vs. the middle child birth order.

my hubby and i are now raising our kids the way it should be, fair and square, everybody on equal footing. whoever made the mistake should be disciplined. we want our kids to grow up loving and caring for each other and not hating each other.

[d`monyita]

i am the elder of just two kids.... lisod jud kaau. i never considered myself as my mother's child....  though i am obviously my father's fave...he treats my sis better than my mom treats me.

right now...i really do not care anymore what my mother does except when she makes pakialam how i discipline my son...

[rey04]

rivaly, its difficult especially your the eldest or you're more successfull than your other siblings. things change gyud especially you're married nah. as the eldest i always bring my status quo to my brothers and show good examples to them but unfortunately they chosed the other path therefore wala na koy mahimo but accept them nalang of what they wanna be.

[P-Chan]

i don't 'connect' anymore with my other sibling.. hate them all

[shaxyra]

eldest ko although naa ko half brother.. wa ma'y rivalry between namo tanan.. im the only girl and i get what i want.. spoiled ko.. ako pd ang ni excell sa amu.. pero wa ra man.. becoz we were brought up to be close siblings... close gani au ko ako bros.. hehe

[doce_pares]

rivaly, its difficult especially your the eldest or you're more successfull than your other siblings. things change gyud especially you're married nah. as the eldest i always bring my status quo to my brothers and show good examples to them but unfortunately they chosed the other path therefore wala na koy mahimo but accept them nalang of what they wanna be.

yea bro, lisod jd f w/ ur success ma-inferior na noon cla n dey try 2 make der own way of dealing w things na dili ma-indetify nimo

[baruto]

i'm the eldest and considered to be the most intelligent...mao na kung patun-on ko sa akong inahan di jud pwede nga walay manglupad nga libro (literally)...unya ang ako manghod pasagdan lang kung kanus-a nahan magtuon...

hangtud karon dagko nami (literally ), it's like mas pabor ghapon ako inahan sa ako manghod...though naa pa miy laing younger brother...

even in the treatment of in-laws...mas pabor ghapon ako inahan sa partner sa ako manghod...

anad nalang ko...

but i know there will come a time that i will have to stand up for my rights too...

someday...

[Gwynhuever]

i am the baby of the family (5th child) ...and grabe ko ka palangga sa akong mama...so sometimes maka dungog ko sa ako mga igsoon nga mo comment ...i never had problems with the first 3 kay super ka dagko amo age difference..so morag gi dedma ra nila ako existence.....pero with the 4th grabe among friction...but all these happened when we were young....karon na patch up na tanan ...and i basically get along well with all of them....sila nuon sometimes karon mag ka diperensyahay...ako pirmi peace maker..usahay ako panumduman..."ako baya youngest...dapat ako ang mag cause sa blema...na unsa naman nuon ni ako man tig sulbad...."