Sa tuwing tampuhan, madalas sabihin, "Sorry, hindi ko sinasadya." "Sensya na, hindi na mauulit." "Galit ka pa ba?" Hindi ba mas masarap pakinggan kung sasabihing "Eto one thousand, bati na tayo ha?"
Two boys talking and reached the topic about love. Boy1: Pre, kumusta ang lovelife mo? Boy2: Wala, ganun pa rin. Boy1: Bakit pare? Kayo pa rin? Boy2: Hindi pre, ikaw pa rin!
Sa isang ospital. Lola (may cancer): Doc, anong gagawin nyo sa akin? Doc: Che-chemo lola. Lola: T*ti mo rin! Bastos ka! Walang modo!
Nung bata ako, tuwing may kasal, lagi akong tinutukso nina lolo at lola, "Uy, sya na ang susunod." Tumigil lang sila nung may libing at tinukso ko sila ng "Uy, sila na susunod!"
Minsan, nakakapagod maghabol at makipaglaro ng taguan sa taong mahal mo. Pero alam mo, mas nakakapagod at mas mahirap magtaguan lalo pa kung ikaw ang taya sa Mall of Asia! =)
Lion to mouse: "I'm getting married soon. What's the best advice you can give me?" Mouse: "Remember this, I was once a lion before I got married."
2 friends, See and Saw. One day, See saw sea and Saw didn't see sea. See saw sea and jumped in sea. Saw didn't see sea but jumped in sea. See saw Saw in sea and Saw saw See in sea. See saw both Saw and sea and both Saw and See were happy to see sea. Kung henyo ka, ikwento mo naman sa akin ng mas malinaw.
Three boys at the mall: Boy1: ####, ang cute naman nung girl! Boy2: Sexy pa! Grabe! Boy3: Sino? Yung nakamini-skirt? Kilala ko sya, tawagin ko ha?! Kuyaaaah! =)
Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain! Juan: Maniwala ako?! Pedro: Totoo! Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo? Pedro: Asin!
Nurse: Miss, gising na! Patient: Ah, bakit? Nurse: Oras na ng pag-inom ng gamot. Patient: Anong gamot? Nurse: Sleeping pills.
Parrot sa dumadaang babae: Panget! Panget! Babae: Kapag sinabi mo pa ulit yan sa akin, papatayin na kita! Next day. Parrot: Psst! Babae: Bakit?! Parrot: Alam mo na! =)
E xams:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!
The Equation:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!
Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, “Dad, why do u keep telling people u’re dying of AIDS?”
Answer: “So when I’m dead no one will dare touch ur mom
Three Feelings:
What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.
funny txt messages
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