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  1. #1

    Default Shut up!!! I hack you!


    Please read this, guys! Funny jud kaau hahahaha



    HERE GOES:


    I read this really funny “hacker” chatlogs from the net. Originally this chat log is in German language, the author/owner of this chat log translated it to English for us to read and understand. Read along.
    In case you don’t speak German (just as this hacker), I’ve tried a little translation to English. I might have made some spelling errors, but the original spelling wasn’t perfect either. The guy really said “buy buy” in the German version.
    For information:

    * The dangerous hacker is called bitchchecker and the one being hacked and original author of the comments, who is talking here, is known as Elch.
    * 127.0.0.1 is always the IP address of the computer you’re currently using; any request there will return to your computer.
    * Notice that in Germany we get Daylight Savings Time (DST) earlier than in the US.

    The story starts (I’m shortcutting here) with a kid insulting everyone on the #stopHipHop IRC channel. Most people there believed it was rather funny, but it got even more funny…

    * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
    * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
    <bitchchecker> why do you kick me
    <bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
    <bitchchecker> answer!
    <Elch> we didn’t kick you
    <Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
    <bitchchecker> what ping man
    <bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
    <bitchchecker> i even have dst
    <bitchchecker> you banned me
    <bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
    <HopperHunter|afk> LOL
    <HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
    <bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
    <bitchchecker> for two weaks already
    <bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
    <Elch> You’re a real computer expert
    <bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
    <Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are ^^
    <bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
    <Elch> Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
    <Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
    <Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
    <bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
    <Elch> Now I’m frightened
    <bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
    <bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
    <bitchchecker> say goodbye
    <Elch> to whom?
    <bitchchecker> to you man
    <bitchchecker> buy buy
    <Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
    * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
    What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP address in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure.

    I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.

    * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
    <bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
    <Metanot> lol
    <Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
    <bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
    <bitchchecker> say buy buy
    <Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
    <bitchchecker> buy buy elch
    * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

    There was a tension in the room… Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve…
    Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.

    * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
    <bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
    <Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
    <Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
    <bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
    <bitchchecker> fire wall
    <Elch> maybe, i don’t know
    <bitchchecker> i’m 26
    <Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
    <Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
    <Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
    <bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
    <bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
    <Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
    <bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
    <Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
    <Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
    <Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
    <bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
    <Metanot> what firewall do you have?
    <bitchchecker> like a girl
    <Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl^^
    <He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
    <bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
    <Elch> Noo
    <Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
    <bitchchecker> you’re afraid
    <bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
    <bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
    <Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
    <bitchchecker> shut up
    <Metanot> lol
    <bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
    <bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall

    He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn’t let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don’t have a firewall at all, only my router.

    <Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
    <Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
    <Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
    <bitchchecker> wort man
    <Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
    <Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
    <bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
    <bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
    <Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..^^
    <Elch> 127.0.0.1
    <Elch> it’s easy
    <bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you’ll be gone
    <bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
    <Elch> mom…
    <Elch> i’ll take a look

    In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?

    <bitchchecker> don’t need to rescue you can’t son of a bitch
    <Elch> that’s bad
    <bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
    <Elch> yes, there’s nothing i can do about it
    <bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone

    Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn’t matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a music tip.

    <bitchchecker> tupac rules
    <bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too

    Drive E Oh my god… All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted….

    Or isn’t it happening on my computer?

    <bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
    <He> why doesn’t meta say anything
    <Elch> he’s probably rolling on the floor laughing
    <Black<TdV>> ^^
    <bitchchecker> your d: is gone
    <He> go on BITCH

    The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I’ll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.

    <bitchchecker> elch man you’re so stupid never give your ip on the internet
    <bitchchecker> i’m already at c: 30 percent

    Should I tell him he’s not attacking my computer?

    * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

    Too late… It’s 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias “bitchchecker”. We see that he has a “Ping timeout”.

    We haven’t seen him since then… must be the Daylight Saving Time.

  2. #2

  3. #3
    hehehehehe!

  4. #4
    naunay sa kaugalingong tari.... wat a lame..

  5. #5
    C.I.A. handsoff241's Avatar
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    hahahahaha loooool D:

  6. #6
    whahha.. localhost.. nice hacker..!!

  7. #7
    Food Trail Junkie beyee's Avatar
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    lols! lingawa ani ui
    "People who love to eat are always the BEST people."
    Julia Child

  8. #8
    Correct me if i'm wrong. Is he dumb or really really dumb? hehehehe. Damn!

  9. #9
    ima hack yew!

  10. #10
    old topic... this has been posted here 3 years ago...

    https://www.istorya.net/forums/humor/...cker-ever.html

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