I use text messages a lot. In my opinion, it is a key tool available for interacting with
women. I think they are better than phone AND email. They are quick, easy to respond
to, and private. They can be light and friendly, fun and flirty, seductive, or downright
nasty. I have had text message conversations that fit into all of these. I have even gotten
my freak on, text style.
Sean Newman has posted up some really great stuff about sending dirty text messages to
your girl. This is a great idea, and if you are not doing it, you are missing out on a great
chance to make your girl VERY happy. I would send messages as he describes to my last
girlfriend every now and then, to remind her how hot she was for me. She loved it.
Walter also made a great post about using text messages in the time between when you
meet a girl and when you get her over for a date.
I want to try to put together some general thoughts on "text message game".
Text messages should be short and fun, and flirty, charming or seductive. There is no
place for logic in a text message. If things start going logical in a text message convo,
then you need to stop, or redirect the conversation right away.
Usually a girl will initially react generically, ie. Boring, to a text message you send. Girls
aren't used to guys flirting with them with text message. Yet. You have to ramp it up
immediately after her response. If you send something like, "hey cutie, thinking of me
much?
", chances are you will get a response like "haha, how are you?" Now, you can't
respond, "I'm fine, how R U?" That's weak sauce. We want the strong sauce. A better
response would be, "I was gonna kidnap you to vegas and get us married by elvis, but
nevermind..
" However she responds, you can then respond "yeah, married by the fat
elvis…"
That's a taste of my sauce's flavor.
My RULES for text messages:
I always address them with pet names like darlin', sweetie, cutie pie, sexy, gorgeous,
adorable brat, etc.
I use proper grammar. I don't use the normal abbreviations. If you do, U R 2 stop. I do
abbreviate stuff like family to "fam", San Francisco to SF, etc. I hope I don't have to say
this, but NEVER USE LEET SPEAK (wikipedia it if you don't know). Know the
difference between "your" and "you're", "to" and "too", etc. A side rule to this, the more
sexual the message, the more proper the grammar you should use. Which feels sexier, "I
want 2 slowly kiss Ur lips…" or "I want to slowly kiss your lips…"?
Sign your name when it is the first one or two text messages you send (credit: Robert1).
All you do is write your text, then at the end add "-Sean." Replace "Sean" with your own
name though, or include my cell phone number in the text if you don't.
I use a lot of smiley faces This replaces the big friendly smile you would have on your
face when you deliver a banter line. Text messages should basically be banter lines. I do
not use any other faces other than smiley faces. No winky face no "P" face (I actually
don't even know what this is supposed to mean), etc. Some might disagree, but
personally I think this borders on leet speak, which is not ok. Furthermore, I want my
words to convey my message. If my words, punctuation and a smiley face aren't enough,
then I feel I am doing something wrong.
I use rich descriptions. If I do say how I am doing, I make it descriptive. In response to
"how R U?" I might reply "Just saw the sunset over the bay, the sky's glowing orange -
looks incredible!"
Jump on the offers a girl makes. An "offer" is a term from improv acting. It is when one
actor says something that describes something about the other actor.
Example, one actor says to the other, "I like that large funny hat you have on", the other
actor then would go on with that theme of wearing a large funny hat.
It is a little different with text messages, but if a girl sends you something that you can
make fun and sexy, do it. For example, I got a text message from one of the girls the
other night, "buenas noches. Dulces suenos guapo." [translates: good night. Sweet
dreams, handsome]. I replied the next morning by writing, "good morning, beautiful.
Have a good day." Except I wrote it in french. I took her theme, and replied in a way
that was similar, but original and charming.
Your TOOLS:
Brevity: You have to say everything very quickly. If you can't say it in about 10 to 20
words, then rework it until you can. It is ALWAYS possible to flirt in less than 12
words, in my opinion. If you don't think so, "you are a dork
" (see, it is that easy). Get
rid of everything and anything that is not necessary, by not necessary I mean not flirty
and fun.
Punctuation: The main punctuation techniques I use are CAPS, ellipses… exclamation!!!
Question marks?? both?!?!, [brackets], and (parenthesis). And smiley face as I
mentioned before
These all have different emotional effects, use them! Caps are
REALLY EXCITING!! Wtf?!? [roll my eyes] don't make me.. come over there… and
wrap my arms around you… (I won't spank tooo hard)
WHEN to use text:
ALL THE TIME!! You can send a girl a text a day or so after you meet her, before a
day2, after a day 2, after ***, when she is your girlfriend, etc. Text messaging is a good
way to stay in contact with a girl that you can't see often. I think that phone and email
should mainly be used to set up meets, but for pure flirting, text is better.
What NOT to say:
Cock. Balls. Dick. Pussy. ****. Shit. Unless you have established that these words
get your girl off. Don't say anything negative. The things you send should make you
smile when you think about sending them. This can be a sly smirk, a big fun smile, or a
seductive smile, but it should be positive.
OVERALL:
I think the most important thing is to try to make the girl smile. That is the point of all
this. It doesn't matter if she responds. You should only be trying to write something that
will make her feel good, or feel special, or feel sexy when she reads it. You are NOT
fishing for getting anything back. You should be inspiring her to want to send you a text
back.
Pay attention to the subtext of the text. Often times what is really being said is not what
the words actually are. The obvious example is a late night text asking if you are out and
about means "I want you to come home with me". Subcommunication is pretty
complicated. I won't really get into it. I do suggest paying attention to it though.
This all may take a little practice. Lord knows I have sent off some dumb text messages.
I am gonna dig into my text message past to give examples:
Examples:
Here's an example of a text message sent to a woman a few days after the number close.
The pretext was that we would go jogging together some time. This was our first contact:
"How's my new running buddy. You ready to RUMBLE!
Sean."
It's playful, and I signed my name, because it was my first contact with her after meeting
her, per rule 3 above.
* * * *
I posted this next one as an example a while ago, but I thought it was really good, so I am
using it again. I like it because I keep going back to flirting over and over in the
conversation, and because I wrote it down for posterity, so I have it for use as an example
(most good examples just get deleted from my phone):
Sean: Hey sexy. How is my adorable little brat?
A: Haha…just fine! And u?
Sean: Great! The sun is finally out, spring is in the air, I love it!
A:It was 86 here today! Its gonna be a hot summer.
Sean: You like it hot?
A: I like it warm and breezy
Sean: Hmmm… Interesting… Says a lot about you. So when I call later, are you gonna
answer? I can't believe I even have to ask…
[note: I had called twice and she didn't answer both times, but she sent me texts back
apologizing for not being able to talk]
A: Haha..call @ 1030 and i will answer
Sean: That's past my bedtime. I'll have to call my mom for permission.
A: Dork
Sean: Ah, baby, I love you too.
A: Call me @ 1030..i should be done by then
Sean: If you're not, I'm filing for divorce
A: Haha..u make me smile
Sean: Yup. Talk later.
* * * *
Here's one I sent to my last girlfriend. It is an example of a seductive text. I sent it in the
middle of the day, while she was at work:
"my hand across your bare back, you feel my breath in your ear… and I pull your body
against mine… you feel my heat as our skin touches like silk…"
I think she replied with something like "It's getting hot in here", so I just kept this
description going for a few more texts.
* * * *
Here's what I sent to a girl right after leaving her apartment late at night, after we hooked
up on the first date:
"Goodnight. XXOO"
This was meant to be reassuring and make her feel good about what we did all night, and
to make her smile one last time that night.
* * * *
how to text message women part 1 of 2
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