You sit at work for eight hours straight just looking at your monitor, waiting for a spark of inspiration that doesn't come.
You're up 'til 5am because you came up with the best idea ever while brushing your teeth.
The hottest dream you ever had was "Trace contour... Find Edges... Pinch... Extrude... Smudge Stick... Motion Blur.... Sprayed Strokes..."
The preschool teacher complains your child won't color inside or outside the lines – only indicate colors on a separate sheet.
Activating your entire font collection makes your computer crash
You deliberately butcher your perfectly cross browser compatible site in IE by placing a “Too Cool for IE” banner on it.
You prefer a Layer Style of 50% Opacity (or less) on your wife’s Satin.
Looking at a menu make you go "hmmm, ITC Baskerville italic" rather than "mmmm, lunch!"
And when you finally order, you go for Layer Based Slices with Grain Texture...
You use words about fonts you dislike that other normal people reserve for fascist dictators and serial killers.
You refer to colleagues as Strict, Transitional, Loose and the Future Unemployed.
You refer to your privates as "the Magic Wand".
You know that rivers are more than just water.
Your best friends are all employees at the local print shop
The only people who seem to know what you do for a living are other Graphic Designers (ex: Graphic Design? What's that? You'll never be able to make a living being an
artist!)
Kerning and leading on your shopping list actually matters to you, and you don't see a problem with that.
You know that "bleeding" doesn't hurt.
when your significant other/ friends have threatened to never speak to you again if you point out one more font to them.
when you know the difference between fuchsia, magenta, and maroon.
If you could go back in time you wouldn't go back to see the rise and fall of civilizations, you'd go back in time to destroy comic sans and papyrus.
You Know You're a Graphic Designer When deciding on the right crop doesn't involve a choice between corn or wheat.
You've considered naming your children things like 'Kern', 'Pica', 'Bézier', and 'Serif'.
When you think watching "Helvetica" is the best thing to hit DVD, and even worse, when you know that the name Helvetica was derived from the Latin word for Switzerland and that it was originally called Neue Haas Grotesk.
When you can't remember the word "fog" and instead refer to it as the "Gaussian Blur."
When you write essays, papers, and letters with InDesign.
When the best use for papyrus you’ve seen was on toilet paper.
You look forward to seeing PMS
Printing your wedding invitations cost more than the dress, engagement ring and honeymoon combined
Your favourite scene in American Psycho is where they discuss business cards
You test the stock and weight of EVERY piece of paper you come across
You always travel with your X-Acto kit
Your idea of a hot night is joining the serifs of two Baskerville L's
When your mousemat is also your placemat
You’ve named your fish Gill Sans
You can understand everything on this list.