am i right to ask for space from the girl i have done everything for her but only sees me and just wants me as a friend?
i have been with her for almost a year. even though she said she can only offer friendship, i still stayed with her and do things together hoping she would someday learn to love. from time to time i opened up the topic if she will learn to love me, and when she said she cant, or just want to be friends, i would make it an issue so i can tell her i want to leave and ask her space. she would then do anything for me not to go. something like has been goin on. and when i ask why she doesnt let me go when she doesnt loves me she would said she cant. that there has been never a guy that has been this nice to her. that never has someone understood her. never she has sombody that has the same common interests as her.
2 weeks ako was the worst. wen i again, tried to tell her i want space for the reason she doesnt love me... she then said she loves me, but doesnt know how to show it. long story short, i knew she just used the LOVE coz it was the only last thing she can do because at that time i was really decided to cut things off with her. but i decided ride-on her LOVE even though it was a LIE. hoping she would change or something would change.
i let things roll until Valentine's came. the next day we met and told her that i really want that space. it hurts me that i know u dont love me. she even gives a lot of reasons why i cant get a kiss from her lipz. she then admits that the love thing was a LIE. and from the day she said she loves, all she did to show that she loves me was a lie too. the HUG and kiss on cheeks. thats why she cant kiss me on the lips coz she cant do something to somebody who she only sees as a friend. because to her, she loves me nothing more than a friend. that night i was really trying to break things gently. but something she said made my blood boil. she said she will return the cellphone i lent her(this was 1 thing i kept trying to get when i tried to ask her to let me go) and told me she will return it coz she does want me to "HUNT" her. i mean, wat dah. after all i think i was just nothing to her. so i said. ok u ddnt love me. you dont even care. you only wanted the things i can give you(i spoiled her, u know) and you never want to be with me. i said d only reason why u dont want me to go is because i will get the cellphone and you will lose your friends,right? so keep it(in an semi-angry voice, and i broke both my sim-cards on my phone so i cant contact her) treat it as my last favor to you. at least u have a remembrance of who and what i was to you.
she tried to give it back. followed me wen i walked. i stopped and told her. there is nothing else more to do. this is what u wanted, right. not me. so please just walk away. you already have what you wanted. she then walked away. i am really harsh, wen i get mad.
staying friends with her would not give me peace of mind too. ive told her countless times, i understand if u cant love me. but showing luv as frends isnt that hard,right? she keeps saying she shows it but i was blinded because i wanted her to love me. but it wasnt the case. for the only time i feel i was somebody to her, or i mean something to her is when she asks for favors, or its when i walk her home. any other time i was just nobody.
like what happened last Feb14. the night was really cool. if there was a time i could say that it was the most precious time for both of us, it would have been that night. but i was still with her, talking, walking just the both of us. but wen 11:30pm struck, her friends called her on the for for conference and there it seems i wasnt even there and ignored me until i made it an issue that cant she just spare some more time to be with me? wen she was the one who wanted to be with me that night in the first place. yeah i knw she nid time for her friends too, but was it right that it was a night for both of us, a night she asks to be with me and just like that, she ignores dat i made her night complete? i dont think thats fair.
i should have walked away the first time she said she cant love me more than friends. i should have believed things will not change. though right now being apart from her doesnt hurt that much already, but it was just a waste. i just wanted to exist. to be appreciated for what i do, and i would be happier even if she cant love me as her bf.being appreciated for what u done should have been enough for me to accept her friendship....
since monday i never seen her. she blocked and deleted me from every list( YM, frendster etc). i sent 1 last message to her saying i never was anybody or somebody to you after all i did. and im not expecting anything more...
now is this the right thing to do for me? to let her go? to tell her i need space? that if there was a reason you would stay, thats if she loves me or accepts me for who i am? i was hoping if were not together, she would realised what she will miss. but i dont think it will never happen. so im thinking this is the only way i would be free and have peace of mind. knowing the person i love will never love me the same way i do! i could have accepted friendship, if only on those days showed that even if she cant love me, she would still be able to accept me, and not because of what i can give her.
any inputs is appreciated!
Am I right to ask for space from the girl I love but who only sees me as a friend?
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