appendicectomy

[pardohanon]

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A nurse was on duty in the ER,when a young woman with purple hair styled into Mohawk,sporting a variety of tattoos,and wearing strange clothing,entered.It was quickly determined that the patient ha acute appendicitis,so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.When she was completely disrobed on the operating table,the staff noticed the her pubic hair had been dyed green,and above it there was a tattoo that read,``Keep of the grass.``Once the surgery was completed,the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient`s dressing,which said,``Sorry,had to mow the lawn.``

[pardohanon]

One dark night outside a small town in Saskatchewan , a fire started inside the local sausage plant and in a blink it exploded into massive flame.
The alarm went out to all the fire department from miles around.
When volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene , the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said,"All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant.They must be saved and I will give $50.000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire department had to be called in as the situation became desperate . As the firemen arrived , the president shouted out that the offer was now $100.000 to the fire department who could bring the company's secret files.
From the distance , a lone siren was heard as another fire trick came into sight . It was the nearby Wakaw rural township . To everyone's amazement , the little run-down fire engine , operated by these Polish Firefighters , passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside , the other firemen watched as the Polish old timers, the age 65 and plus, jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before.Within s short time , the Wakaw old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200.000 , and walked over to personally thank each of the brave though elderly ,Polish firefighters.
The local TV news reporters pushed in after capturing the event on film asking,"What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Well," said Stanley Polaski , the 70-year-old fire chief , "da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on that f....ing truck!"