Arab Jokes

[The Good$!!!]

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Immigration control:

Name?
-Abdul Saiid Wahad.
S e x?
-Four times a week.
No, no - male, female?
-Male, female, sometimes camel.
Holy Cow!
-Yes, cows too. Sometimes even goats and chickens.
Isn't it hostile?
-Horse style, Dog style, any style.
Oh dear.
-No, no deer. Have tried once. They fight back.

[GrEenOCIDE]

wahahaha kaloga sa arabu

[rockford_fosgate09]

hahaha what a arab

[AlienMagic]

bisag unsa nalay paskan...haha

[thadzonline]

basin makit-an tag arabs diri, they'll say racist ta. hehe

[sam_maybe]

hahaha wala gyud ni pili ang arabu dah

[The Good$!!!]

Osama Bin Laden memo


To: All Al Queda Fighters

From: Bin Laden, Osama

Subject: The Cave


Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster... have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the living daylights out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the "Wassup" thing. Thanks.

Third: Food. I bought a box of chocolate biscuits recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my biscuits were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the infidels' bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SH*GS DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the "chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain" will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. The first patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.

PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.

[The Good$!!!]

The President of the USA, George Bush, and his Vice President, Dick Cheney, are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in, sees them and asks the barman, "Isn't that the President and the Vice President sitting over there?"
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honour! What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning World War Three."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Arabs and one blonde with big breasts."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big breasts? Why would you kill a blonde with big breasts?"
Bush turns to Cheney and says, "See, I told you no one would care about 140 million Arabs".

[The Good$!!!]

Ahmed the Arab came to Sydney from the Middle East, and he was only here a few months when he became very Ill.

He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help Him. Finally, he went to an Arab doctor, who said, 'Take dees bocket, go Into de odder room, sh*t in de bocket, piss on de sh*t, and den put your head Down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes.'

Ahmid took The bucket, went into the other room, sh*t in the bucket, pissed on the sh*t, Bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes.

Coming back to the Doctor he said, 'It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with Me?'

The doctor said, 'You were homesick .'

[The Good$!!!]

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me.
I love you,
Your Father"

The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son:

"Beloved Father,
Please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'.
I love you, too,
Ahmed"

At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.

A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son.

"Beloved Father,
I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes.
That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you,
Ahmed."