> >> Dear Tech Support,
> >>
> >> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
> >> noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance,
> > particularly
> >> in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly
> > under
> >> Boyfriend 5.0.
> >>
> >> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
> >> programs, such as
> >> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then
> >> installed undesirable programs such as
> >> NBA 5.0,
> >> NFL 3.0 and
> >> Golf Clubs 4.1.
> >>
> >> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
> > simply
> >> crashes the system.
> >>
> >> Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix
> > these
> >> problems, but to no avail.
> >>
> >> What can I do?
> >>
> >> Signed,
> >>
> >> Desperate
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> DEAR DESPERATE,
> >>
> >> First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
> > Package,
> >
> >> while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
> >>
> >> Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to
> >> download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
> >>
> >> If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should
> > then
> >> automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
> >>
> >> However, remember, overuse of the above application can
> > cause
> >> Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer
> > 6.1.
> >>
> >> Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will
> >> download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
> >>
> >> Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install
> >> Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will
> > eventually
> >> seize control of all your system resources.)
> >>
> >> In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the
> > Boyfriend
> >> 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash
> > Husband
> >> 1.0.
> >>
> >> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does
> > have
> >> limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might
> >> consider buying additional software to improve memory and
> > performance. We
> >> recommend:
> >> Cooking 3.0 and
> >> Hot Lingerie 7.7.
> >>
> >> Good Luck!
> >>
> >> Tech Support