What does Friendster mean to a farmer's daughter?

[radiostar]

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While conducting research on the living conditions of farmers in Bohol, I found myself talking to a young basketweaver from Calape (a 4th class municipality a few miles from Tagbilaran). In the middle of our conversation, she suddenly blurted out, “Ate, if I get to the poblacion, will you help me make a Friendster account? I heard that you can marry foreigners through it.”



"Huh? Who told you that?!" I was aghast, not only because I am a feminist, but because it has always been a time-revered tradition that Boholanas were pretty, timid and sweet lasses who just stay at home and cook you the finest inun-onan (fish stewed in vinegar and garlic).





She smiled at my shock and calmly told me that her cousin worked as a dancer in a restaurant-bar in Panglao and was fortunate enough to have met an American benefactor. Note that she didn’t say her cousin married the foreigner—he was just a benefactor. She didn’t mind that her cousin could be a victim of exploitation or that dancers and waitresses in bars often become commercial *** workers.


Certainly I was no stranger to prostituted women, having studied them in school (as a Psychology major) and later as a volunteer for GABRIELA. I knew that in this poverty-stricken country many women are pushed to the flesh trade. I also knew that for most women from C and D classes, marrying or attaching themselves to a foreigner is the only way out of poverty.




“Hayahay na siya ron, Ate. Naa na siya balay ug nakanegosyo na siya. Swerte gyud ta kun makaminyo og Amerkano kay madato gyud ta (She’s well-off now, Miss. She now has a house and a small business. We would be lucky if we marry an American because we will surely become rich),” the young girl said to me, referring to her cousin. She went on to explain that the latter recommended her to register in Friendster (an online social network) so that she can meet foreigners and chat with them.






"Aren't you afraid that you might get molested by a foreigner, day?" I told her. "Many women have been raped by foreigners that they originally met on the internet. And even if they marry you, most of them are old. Do you want to marry a 70-year old?"




She laughs and said with a naughty grin, "Ate, mao gyud bitaw nga tigulang ang ako pilion. Kay di na siya makabuhat og kuan...kibaw na ka...hahaha...tiguwang na gud! (That's why I'd choose someone old. Because he cant do it...you know...because he's old!)"



All this from an 17-year-old living in a small sitio of Calape, which I had to reach an hour by habal-habal (motorcycle) and another 30 minutes on foot across rice paddies and coconut groves. When I signed up for Friendster, I did so only because I wanted to find and reconnect with old friends. But for the poor farmer's daughter, a Friendster account might help her find a foreigner to marry and lift her family from poverty.



I nearly told the girl, "Do you know that this American guy added me up on MySpace saying 'Asians are hot. Wanna show me your tits?"



The hope shining in her eyes stopped me. My heart ached for her; but I just gave her a comforting pat on the shoulders and said, "Okay. Who knows? Maybe you'll find a good man. But first, let's talk about your rights as a woman. Do you know them?"



She shook her head and we smiled at each other. A poor farmer's daughter may not know about the dangers of meeting foreigners online. But she knows a good girl-talk when she meets one.


source:

Kei Talks, Stalk not. - What does Friendster mean to a farmer's daughter?

[Dorothea]

I don't have Friendster myself, but I never thought of it as a tool to meet foreigners. Murag mga pinoy ra man kasagaran naay Friendster accounts. LOL

I don't know how I feel about this story, I am conflicted. Motuo man gud ko gyud anang ka Maslow's hierarchy of needs. When you're at the very bottom rung, when all you are able to think about is how to put food on the table from day to day, the last thing you'd be worrying about is your rights as a person or as a woman, in this case. When hunger is a very real threat to you, all you think about is food. That is your immediate need. And a person will go to any lengths to alleviate/remedy that need. Mao intawon atong mga dalagang Pinay mangandoy maminyog foreigner kay mao ilang pagtuo nga makasulbad sa ilang problema sa kapobrehon. Marrying a foreigner means freedom from hunger, it means they will never have to worry about getting hungry, or if they can afford to buy food for the next day.

I don't advocate marriage to foreigners but I don't discourage anyone from doing it either. To me, it is a calculated risk. Murag 50-50 ba, it can go either way. And it is no different than marriage to a Pinoy. Marriage is risky in itself, whether you're with a foreigner or a pinoy.

[bloke_tm]

hala, kaluoy sad niya oy. na misinformed man sya. for me kay ang frndster kay for reconnecting with frnds d kay para inana, i keep it private man gani just for my frnds ra jud..

i pity her.. lisod na kay basn ma victim sya ilad, or kanang "uban americans" mu abuse og mga pinay..

[Motownkid]

Ingon ani pod ang reality sa among lugar karon. Ang mga taga baryo suweto na kaayo about aning chat2x & friendster...heheh

Instead of going to Poblacion together with their parents to hear mass, have a walk at the plaza or drop by at Gaisano like what they used to do, they go directly to their suki nga internet cafe para mag-chat sa ilang uyab nga foreigner. Some of them are even minors being somewhat like pimped by their own parents.

[missy21]

noh....bago lang ko ani naka-dungog...
mao bah...im a proud boholana..and i didn't know nga naa diay jud ingon ani sa?
mag-awat2 lang cguro sila jud sa uban kay la jud know how anang mga butanga...well.....

[mannyamador]

If our government officials would only stop stealing (or even just cut down on the greed), we could beef up the education budget. Then perhaps girls like the one in the story could get a better education. People could become more productive and lift themselves from poverty (provided, of course, that other unjust social/economic structures don't prevent that).

[onlyvic]

yeah... faet jud ha... reality bites though.

[digitalsuperman]

tsk.tsk. thats bad.. my heart bleeds for those kids... foreigners exploit asian girls because they can't do that anymore in their own country because they could be chatting with the FBI..but sadly we have laws against that its just that our laws aren't executed..tsk.tsk..

naa bay member nga lalake sa gabriela? just a thought..

[ingkiang]

mao nman uso ron, even women with diploma's do that.....it's not new...
one of the reasons, foreigner look down on us....

[eax]

Mao ang gitawag na welcome to the Information Age.

Actually, dili naman na bag-o. How about katong mga penpal or something?

Ask lang ko, naa na ba nabuhat ang Gabriela regarding mga in-ani sa Congress? If wala, why pa man ipa-post pa diri sa mga forums.