Chuck Norris Facts are satirical "facts" about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris, which have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. The "facts" tend to involve jokes and plays on claims of Norris' toughness, attitude, virility, "alpha-male status", sophistication and masculinity stated in an absurdly serious tone, for example:
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.
The "facts" typically claim that Chuck Norris is some type of irate, all-powerful, superbeing. Some of these "facts" have also turned into popular jokes. Like most Internet phenomena, the Chuck Norris facts have spread around the world, leading not only to translated versions, but also spawning localized versions mentioning country-specific advertisements, other Internet phenomena, etc. Allusions are also sometimes made to his use of roundhouse kick attacks to perform seemingly any task, his large amount of body hair with specific regard to his beard, and his role in the action television series Walker, Texas Ranger.
All of this combined makes for humor driven by hyperbole. Many of these 'facts' are often crossing over and mention how Norris is superior alongside Jack Bauer.
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Thread: Chuck Norris Jokes
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10-03-2008, 03:16 PM #1Junior Member
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Chuck Norris Jokes
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10-03-2008, 03:29 PM #2Junior Member
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Here are some of my favorites:
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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10-03-2008, 08:02 PM #3C.I.A.
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Originally Posted by 13thProphet
hahaha.. na lingaw ko ani.. hahaha..
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10-04-2008, 04:56 AM #4Senior Member
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almighty chuck!
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10-06-2008, 08:20 PM #5C.I.A.
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There is no weapon of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklohama...
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10-06-2008, 08:21 PM #6C.I.A.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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10-06-2008, 08:28 PM #7Infractions: 0/3 (6)
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chuck norris versus dagul the movie.
chuck norris KO'd in 2 minutes
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10-07-2008, 11:13 AM #8C.I.A.
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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10-07-2008, 11:46 AM #9C.I.A.
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nganong binuangan man permi si Chuck Norris? heheehe! apila pud si Steven Seagal! hehehe!
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10-07-2008, 12:30 PM #10Banned User
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chuck norris loves steven seagal
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