Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot".
I named mine
***.
Now, *** has been very embarrassing to me.
.
When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license,
I told the clerk, "I would like to have a license for ***."
He said, "I would like to have one too!"
Then I said, "But she is a dog!"
He said he didn't care what she looked like.
I said, "You don't understand. ... I've had *** since I was nine years old."
He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."
.
Then, when I decided to get married, I told the minister,
"I would like to have *** at the wedding."
He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.
I said, "But *** has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around ***."
He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church.
I told him everyone would enjoy having *** at the wedding.
(The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.)
.
So, when my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
When we checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife, and a special room for ***.
He said that every room in the hotel is a place for ***.
I said, "You don't understand. ... *** keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "Funny - i have the same problem!"
.
One day I entered *** in a contest.
But before the competition began, the dog ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed.
I told him that I planned to have *** in the contest.
He said that I should have sold my own tickets.
"You don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have *** on TV."
He called me a show off.
.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.
I said, "Your Honor, I had *** before I was married!"
The Judge said, "This courtroom is not a confessional. Stick to the case!"
Then I told him that after I was married, *** left me.
He said, "Me too!"
.
Last night *** ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her.
A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.
I said, "I'm looking for ***."
-- My case comes up next Thursday.
.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.
Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"
I replied, "*** has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer.. so lonely."
and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that *** isn't a man's best friend..
so get yourself a dog."
.
just found this sa net.. funny stuff.. wehehe..
A Dog Named ***
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