brodpocks' joke taym!

[bokiratx]

---

more pls! hahahahahahaha

[jofox]

KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....
>
> "Hello, Sir? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala niyo
> sa bahay-bakasyunan
> niyo."
>
> "O, Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May
> problema ba?"
>
> "Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na
> namatay ang alaga niyong
> parrot."
>
> "'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa
> bird show?"
>
> "Opo, Sir, 'yun na nga po."
>
> "Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko
> sa ibong 'yon. Hay,
> buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"
>
> "E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."
>
> "Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang
> nagpakain sa kanya ng
> bulok na karne?"
>
> "W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang
> patay na kabayo."
>
> "Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Arnaldo?"
>
> "E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir.
> Namatay po kasi lahat sila
> sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."
>
> "Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng
> tubbbiiiiggggg? "
>
> "'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."
>
> "Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi
> mo?"
>
> "'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba
> po 'yung isang
> nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at
> mabilis na kumalat ang
> apoy...."
>
> "Ano? Puuuutaa.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa
> bahay-bakasyunan, ah. Para
> saan 'yung kandila?"
>
> "Para sa burol po."
>
> "Ano? Kaninong burol?"
>
> "Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating
> dito nu'ng isang gabi,
> walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko
> po magnanakaw. Binaril
> ko..."

[jofox]

>>One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
>> > >apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and
>> > >gave up beans.
>> > >
>> > >Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way
>> > >home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my
>> > >husband and told him that
>> > >
>> > >I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by
>> > >a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.
>> > >
>> > >With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill
>> > >effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and
>> > >before I knew it, I had consumed
>> > >
>> > >three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure
>> > >that
>>
>> > >I
>> >
>> > >released ALL the gas.
>> > >
>> > >Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
>> > >
>> > >delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight!"
>> > >
>> > >He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
>> > >I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
>> > >telephone rang. He
>> > >
>> > >made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and
>> > >went
>>
>> > >to answer the call.
>> > >
>> > >The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
>> > >pressure
>> >
>> > >was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the
>> > >room
>>
>> > >I
>> >
>> > >seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
>> > >It
>> >
>> > >was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
>> > >over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my
>> > >lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
>> > >
>> > >Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The
>> > >stink
>>
>> > >was worse than cooked cabbage!!!
>> > >
>> > >Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other
>> > >room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
>> > >
>> > >The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
>> > >farewells
>> >
>> > >signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
>> > >more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands
>> > >back on
>>
>> > >it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
>> > >
>> > >My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
>> > >returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had
>> > >peeked
>>
>> > >through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
>> > >
>> > >At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
>> > >seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rainne]

oh my gosh!!! ahahahah

[jofox]

Mother superior: Hala, layas dito sa kumbento!

Madre: Bakit po? Dahil po ba sa paggamit ko ng vibrator?

Mother superior: Hindi, ayoko lang may nakikiaalam sa gamit ko!

************************************************** ****************************

Nanay: Hala, sige, layas! Huwag ka nang bumalik dito sa bahay! Simula ngayon,
huwag mo na akong tawaging nanay at hindi na rin kita tatawaging anak, naintindihan mo?

Anak: Sige dude, alis na ako.

[sweetie26]

very good! ngano man jud kuno beh?

[cool_operator]

edit... please edit this... change boyfriend to girlfriend kay pareha ra ni....... mas grabe pa gani ang mga girls based on my exes...... hehehahahaha

[eByong]

hahaha

[Mr. Suave]

edit... please edit this... change boyfriend to girlfriend kay pareha ra ni....... mas grabe pa gani ang mga girls based on my exes...... hehehahahaha

Hahaha! I Agree

[mike_iansat]

gibali mani ang storya!