Advice for the married, planning to get married, single etc

[wak_wak]

---

think a million times before getting married..

[purple]

trust, commitment, respect, love,open communication are keys to great marriage. kapoy gyud mag adjust sa lain tao hehe been married for 18 yrs, ok lang usahay lipay usahay kasakit, ana gyud na life wharever we are naa gyud na. Survive lang gyud despite the odds.

[khymm]

katong mga single pareha nako, don't rush things.. take your time..

[denis_jay]

Mark 10:9
"Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

_____________________

To All Married Couples and Singles Who Intend To Get Married.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand
and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to
open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a
divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and
shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we
didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find
out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my
heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I did'nt love her anymore. I just
pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had
spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt
sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take
back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her
cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to
be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I did'nt have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day
with Dew.


When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did
not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before
the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to
live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had
his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our
broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door ever
morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to
make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day,
we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the
bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters
with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell
our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her
down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove
alone to the office.


On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.
I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her
face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her.
For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who
had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth
and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It
became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart.


Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time
to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying
his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife
gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my
face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last
minute.


I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last
day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had
gone to school.


I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
upstairs. Drew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Drew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a
fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Drew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Drew
seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property , the money in
the bank, blah..blah.. blah.


These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and
do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a
real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you
just might save a marriage.

[denis_jay]

...

[mastersun23]

nice. will read more deeply later..

[sr_atarah]

You’re in a relationship that is heading toward marriage. How do you
know
if your guy or gal is a keeper? What signals or cues should you be
looking
for? Getting married can be a big step, so here are three simple
questions
to ask before you tie the knot.


1. How do the two of you fight? The first important question you need
to
ask yourself is how do the two of you fight? Stop for a moment and
think
about the last fight or the most recent argument you had with your
romantic
partner.


Did you raise your voice? Cry? Say things you regretted afterward?
Conflict
is a healthy part of relationships, but how you resolve it can be
either
bonding or destructive. If you handle conflict consistently in a
destructive manner -- like screaming, interrupting, yelling or calling
your
partner names, studies show that you are more than twice as liikely to
divorce over time.


A good relationship is where the two of you fight fair. It is important
that you pick your battles, know when to engage in an argument and when
to
let it go without resentment, don’t name call, and calm down when you
talk.


2. Do you trust this person? Trust is an essential aspect of marriage.
Before you make a commitment, be sure to ask yourself whether you trust
this person. When we trust someone, we believe that person tells us the
truth and that they wouldn’t hurt or deceive us. Since it's important
that
you and your partner each feel a sense of trust, be sure to have a
“trust
chat� before tying the knot.


This conversation will give both of you a strong sense of shared values
(or
not). Here are a few discussion questions to talk about during your
trust
chat:


a. What does commitment mean to you?
b. What does dependability mean to you?
c. Do you feel that your checking account, credit card bills and
appointment book should be private or shared?
d. Do you trust me?


3. Are you and your partner similar in underlying values and attitudes?
The
last question you want to ask yourself before you tie the knot is
whether
the two of you are similar. Studies show that partners who have
compatible
beliefs, values and lifestyles stay together longer than partners who
don't.


Does this mean that you have to like the same music and food?
Absolutely
not, although those differences might be important factors if you are
set
to marry a musician or a chef!


Read this list of 10 compatibility factors. If you and your mate-to-be
aren't compatible in three or more of these essential categories, think
long and hard before taking the walk down the aisle.


a. Willing to try new things that the other partner likes
b. Consider each other good friends
c. Like each other's family
d. Like each other's friends
e. Have personal habits/hygiene you each can live with
f. Share religious or political beliefs
g. Have similar spending habits/relationship to money
h. Like to have fun in similar ways for the most part
i. Have intellectual compatibility -- easy, fun, stimulating to talk to
j. Have physical compatibility -- good kisser, good *** or physically
warm
(mosst important)

[xanne_818]

ay dah kng ganahan mag minyo pagminyo ,,ang d ganahan ayaw..simple

[happy_chique]

nice story..

[jd_iceblizzard]

atotz sad... kakapoy basa... english pa jud... weee!