Memoirs of an Amnesiac

Despite the many breaks and somehow "uncalled-for" little vacations due to the calamities that struck our region, I still found my work piling up. The time that could have been spent in school for paper work is spent in the house and it meddles with the housework. I'm the kind of person who is very hands-on with chores. And if there is one thing that I take to heart about all those well-meaning feng sui advices that is to clean up what one has accumulated in the previous year.

So on the 30th of December I found myself in the middle of a cluttered room (because I had taken out some stuff that I had not seen since that last time I stored them). I had not realized that I could practically be named a collector for miscellaneous things what with all the things that I hoarded. I'm a sucker for cute things -- key chains to pens and what-have-you. I realized way before that they come indispensable when I suddenly could not go to the mall to scout for things I want to give as gifts whenever someone close or a student celebrates birthdays.

Some old clothes were also taking up so much space in my closet that the need to dispose them was easier than the need to keep them. I have always been too sentimental with the things I purchase that this same sentimentality sometimes works detrimental to me. What could have been allotted for a spacious work room (for someone claustrophobic like me) is already used up for what I consider to be "useless." For all their worth at the moment I purchased them, they could no longer compensate for the sense of regret I feel as opposed to my feelings when I bought them in the first place.

So there I was secretly crying for two reasons: One, that I had to let them go because they carried all great memories when I bought them (just because I was with someone when I did buy them). And two, that I had just stored them for no reason other than give me headaches in disposing them and depleting the money that could have been spent for more valuable and pressing things. Oh well, there's my hard lesson on managing finances. And because feng sui experts say I should dispose them, I had no choice. I've been somehow superstitious thinking that I had nothing to lose when I do believe in them.

Amidst frequent sneezing from dust mites and unreasonable stench from materials that got mixed with mildew while hibernating in my closet, I had these weird reflections.

1. Things are things. Only a shopper understands the sentimentality of another shopper. One could not begin to describe what one feels the moment one could get hold of a sale item. You get all too excited for the mark down that you'll forget you don't even need it. The quotable quote would be: It's 70% off. Where else could you get this item at this price?" My bad.

2. Sentimentality should better have its place in photo albums. Because of the way I cling on to things--wondering whether they could be great reminders for challenges ahead or when the memory lane seems rugged, my hoarding of trinkets and such is impractical. I'm not saying you cut off sentimentality but my argument is that they should better be tamed.

3. You don't get rich collecting useless stuff. The only collectors that I knew that got rich in collecting are probably those that collect antiques and sell them at a hefty price. What you will come out though when you tend to collect useless stuff is that you will be a garbage collector. Well, you could give away some of them but with the length of time they were stored, not even garbage collectors would have an interest in receiving them.

So, when I had finally said my "eulogy" and parting words to what had been a wonderful time with the things I collected, I had resolved to be more careful with the things I purchase this year.

Then, there is that relief that I wouldn't have to carry the clutter that I had the previous year along with the memories they embody.