Memoirs of an Amnesiac

Dear Someone,

What could have happened to you? Was your flight late? Did the bus you were riding meet a road mishap along the way that you had to walk the whole stretch just to get to me?

You probably don't have the slightest idea how I have been awaiting your arrival. The excitement and thrill builds up each time a friend coyly asks, "Aren't you married yet?" Although I just casually shrug off such remarks from outside, I feel something sad inside. One that I have never learned to live down even after all these years of waiting.

I don't know you but I want you more because of that. I may have a bit of command in terms of expressing my thoughts but where words should be my loyal ally, they fail me whenever I begin to describe the propensity of my longing for you. I don't believe in fairy tales (although I've grown up with them) for often I find disillusionment in them. For instance, they consist of women who wait for a PRINCE CHARMING (who happens to be the same guy in each fairy tale, did you notice?) but I do believe in the virtue of waiting. I have learned that for something as lofty as love, impulsiveness does not hold a fair place. One does not force a plant to grow. It grows by itself in due time, even when no one has taught it.

Sometimes, I envy the sky when rainbows appear. It at least had a promise of a great weather ahead. With you, everything is unpredictable. I don't know exactly when nor how I'll meet you. I can contrive a number of ways, just like a writer carefully crafting the "perfect meet-up" for her male and female protagonists. Yet I know they will never compare to how you and I will meet. Probably, it would be as ordinary and uneventful as the bombing of the World Trade Center or Manny Pacquiao's fights? Even when my brain is filled with skepticism and uncertainties, somewhere deep down the cracks of my brain, I know deep within that that day will soon come.

Life had never been easy for me. At one point, I thought I had already met you but it was somebody else who let me go, only to hand me to you. He promised me marriage, only to break it later on when things turned out different when time passed. It's true when they say that the best relationships are tested through time and space.

My life had never been the same since.

Though I'm slowly picking up and building from scratch the broken pieces of me, I'm getting there. I want you to know that I'll always be here waiting, even when you don't decide to come.

Until then. Take care. And may you never encounter road mishaps along the way.


With all my love,
Shey