Memoirs of an Amnesiac
On Scribbles and Pencil Marks
by , 10-23-2012 at 11:58 PM (1267 Views)
When I was in Grade Four, my teacher in Arts taught us how we can make wonderful figures on what we scribbled. After which she made us color what figures we were able to come up with. I got an A+ and couldn't wait to show my father my artwork. When I went home, he was not home yet and I kinda experimented on a piece of paper on our sofa. Little did I know that while I was doing it, that I was slowly creating a rare masterpiece with our sofa cover as the canvass.
The next thing I know I was scurrying to erase whatever Picasso-inspired artwork I have formed. I have no plans of having it sold nor auctioned, along with the sofa. I was sure I will really get a five-page dressing down. By then, I was ten years old.
Sometimes I wish decisions were just mere pencil marks. So easily erased with those orange erasers (which when they run out, we bite the metal part). Life could have been easier to deal with. Everything and everyone, no matter how bad, notorious and evil, will have a clean slate. They're erased without leaving a mark.
But they are not and they never will be. Decisions with their accompanying consequences (whether good or bad) always leave an indelible mark. A scar of sorts, sealed in yet alive, ready to throb each time a new decision is made. For some it is easy to just move on and let go. For others, moving on is a distant reality, more fiction than farce. Still others keep believing that with each new beginning, the past becomes a mere dream and tomorrow turns into a vision.
There is only one thing certain albeit hackneyed. It is the thought that no matter how jaded we can become and no matter how seemingly futile our efforts can be, we are always given chances to change and improve ourselves. After all, that is where we are all leading -- to change, to improvement, to new beginnings (even when most of us have lost the hope of ever finding redemption in one's sordid state).
And then after all is said and done, we wish to be the person we were before - unjaded, untarnished, completely whole.
Yeah, I know. I should have sold that sofa with my scribbles on it!
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