Memoirs of an Amnesiac

In high school, my father found out I had a huge crush on a classmate who kept topping in our class (when he saw my FLAMES of our names together). Probably thinking that it would cause me to lose my interest in my studies he quipped, Asa raman na ang mga lalaki ba ug makatiwas naka! (Wait until you finish school before you even entertain boys. Well, this is not the real translation. Google translator had a hard time himself) When I graduated from college and had my job, I asked my father, "Oh Pa, asa naman ang mga lalaki na imong giingon? Wala man lage bisan usa?" (Pa, where are all those men you told me would come? There isn't even one!).

These were my predominant musings when I attended Sunday mass this morning. (Oh well, I must admit my mind really wanders, especially during the priest's homily.) And then a smile was suddenly painted on my face (by a rather devious artist). I told God, right then and there (even when it had nothing to do with the homily) that I wanted a guy (and I want it now) who is tender, honest, someone who knows my quirky side and is able to keep up with it, a good conversationalist (I don't want someone who just sits beside me, waiting for me to poke him just so he would talk), has the same belief as I have and of course mature. (If you meet these qualifications, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and send me a private message!).

It occurred to me that I had not really specified to God (even when I kept praying about it every Sunday) the kind of guy I would want to be with for the rest of my life. Small wonder that guy has not arrived until now. Because I was not specific, God had a hard time looking for that guy (this with the thought that God is quirky like me, too).

Don't get me wrong. Of course I bask in the bliss of single hood and am not desperate enough to even have myself auctioned just so I would have someone. It is just that it would be nice once again to feel one's hand being held by someone (which I have grown to miss), to go out on Sunday afternoons (or stay in the house) watching movies together, gormandize or eat until "sawa" foods which I have never tasted before, have someone to argue and discuss things with (not only my virtual friends), and travel places just to look at sunsets. (Oh well, the other things might not be possible, who knows?)


I even told some intimate friends (out of humor) that when I do get to meet my husband-to-be, the moment he proposes, before I even say his most-awaited "yes", I would punch him real hard on his arm for making me wait that long.

Kidding aside, my reaching 30 is forthcoming. I am having mixed feelings. Though financially I am already able to feed ten husbands (pun intended), emotionally stable to handle whatever forms of trauma that would come along, and spiritually armed, I know I have yet to experience a lot of things. Things that would complete me and make me whole again, despite the incisions done on my heart.

I could travel all I want and gain a lot of perspective. And at the end of the day, I will still find myself, waiting on my own makeshift balcony filled with a lot of contraptions (to entertain me while waiting for Mr. Right) and reciting Juliet's lines, "Romeo, Romeo, where art thou, my Romeo?"