Memoirs of an Amnesiac

Ok, the title is misleading. I wouldn't have had your attention at this moment if it weren't for it. (You must admit you're agreeing with me on this one.) Let me not be misconstrued. I am no expert on women, neither do I represent the whole EVE demographics. What I might be mentioning may or may not reflect what the rest of my female kind thinks and feels. These are just part and parcel of the whole female psyche. What I am most certain about as I write this is that I am a woman. After all, it takes one to know one.

Most people say that men are from Mars, while the women are from Venus. They have come up with such allusion because of the garish disparity between the male and the female psyche.

Males (please admit this one) are often at odds on how to understand the women in their lives, may they be their lover, friend, sister or worst, their mother. That is why most of them would go through great heights just to traverse those paths that lead to enlightenment -- understanding how hay-wired women's brains could be.

These revelations would either earn me the appreciation of the male population or the disdain of their female counterparts. Either way, my greatest aim is to help both worlds understand each other better so that whatever kinks there are involved in one's relationship they could be best addressed at.

First thing, women are emotional beings. You probably have had that figured out already. But hey, I meant the deep-down-hormone causing type. What men sometimes perceived to be a woman's "kaartihan" really has something to do (most of the time) to how her hormones are going crazy inside her body system and how they are affecting her mood. She is adjudged as fickle-minded and moody as when she changes moods and decisions as fast as lightning. The challenge for the men is therefore to have more understanding (patience, if need be) on women whose body make ups are not the same as theirs. But this should not be something that women should take advantage of. Men knew quite well that hormones go haywire only once a month. Most of the time, women are completely sane.

Second, women love attention. Well, who doesn't? Our pets at home even do all sorts of tricks just so they would catch our attention (except for my turtle though which only bobs its head every moment while he basks in that almost murky water I have placed it in). Women are no exception when it comes to asking for attention. Some of them though are not so good at presenting what they wanted. This could become an obstacle to understanding that woman whom a man valued so much. Another challenge for the men is to know how to lavish attention on their women. One thing that men should take note though is that everything in excess is not good. Too much attention could actually make women go away.

Third, like men, we love challenges. We all love those mind games that men usually pose to us. We are challenged when men don't give us what we want. (How else do we keep staying with men who don't love us back as much as we love them?). And so we rant, and rant and rant. But men, this could be very crucial. Women may have the proverbial patience of Job but once you provoke them, you would mostly likely wish you had never met them. I am therefore appealing for balance. To keep us interested in you men, you should know what perks us up (that is, intellectually because you can't say we're no-brainers.)

Fourth, we are open-minded, contrary to what most men often think. If we weren't, how else do you still get to hang out with your drinking buddies, even when we have reminded you time and time again not to? How else do we still understand you when you arrive an hour late in our rendezvous? What you perceived to be denseness in us is just a misunderstanding. Or you were just too impatient to let us understand. It takes a while for us to process you know. (Venus is not that close to Mars.) It takes a great man to make her woman understand what goes on inside him. When a woman matters to a man, he will perceive her as someone whom he needs to make her understand his side of an issue. (Women, if your men are not like this, be wary.)

Fifth, for us, it's always the thought that counts. This is something that most guys have not really figured out in this present day and age. (Small wonder that there are so many sprouting flower shops and gift shops around the city.) It matters not how expensive or fancy the gift is, it is about the thought that comes with it. Diamonds are not really a woman's best friend (ok, I must admit to some they are). A woman's best friend are those surprises that you men conjure up on a rather uneventful day. A warning to the men on this area: remember to be very creative in expressing your love to your woman, or else, their creative side tends to get bored.

Sixth, we are not "clingy". Just because we hang out in your house more often than we should, pry on your text messages, or stalk on you wherever you go on the web, doesn't make us possessive mutts. Help us not to reach this stage when we "appear to be possessive". Build up our trust in you so that we would have enough space for whatever comes along -- a new challenge to the relationship.

Yes, it is true when they say that "Behind every man's success is a woman." But they also forgot that a woman's greatest ally is a man. After all, a woman would not have existed without a man's rib (which is close to his heart).