Memoirs of an Amnesiac

My brother and I both grew up fearing my father. When we were small, we never missed out having an acquaintance (and sooner association and affinity) with my father's belt. Way back, belts were made of thick non-synthetic leather and my, they hurt so much when they touch our skins. When lashed out near our waist (when my father aimed for the soft bottoms and missed out on them), they seemed to form a fleshy bulge as if we were wearing our own skin versions of the said belt. This was our price to pay when we refuse to take our afternoon siestas. If it weren't his belt he was holding, he would throw at us anything he lays his hands on. I remembered one time when I had been stubborn enough (like I always am) to follow simple instructions from him, he beat my head with the plastic container he was holding. (This proves how hard-headed I was because the plastic container broke despite its sturdy build.) But the one thing I could not really forget was when he slapped me real hard on my left cheek on my birthday that his hand prints were on my face as I went to church. I don't remember how old I was way back then. All I remembered was that I learned a great lesson on sharing that day.


Before you even call Bantay Bata 163 to report these, let me just tell you that never in my whole life had I resented my father for inflicting such punitive pains on us. In retrospect, I had grown to love the man who never let us have our own ways, went out of his loving nature to sacrifice what he feels right after (I found out when I was bit more mature that after he lashed out on us, he hid in the CR just to cry because he couldn't stand seeing us cry in pain), did the right thing even when he gets all the criticisms after (our uncles resent him for doing all those). His way of disciplining may have been considered a rather ruthless kind at present time but they sure worked wonders for us.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child, " so goes the proverbial advice on parenting. I am a strong advocate of this principle. With my experience with child-rearing, not stressing one's authority at an early age may have its adverse ramifications later on in a child's life.

While discipline should be at the core of parenting, it must not be misconstrued as something punitive. Discipline should be borne out of love for the child. It should be done in a way that the child understands that for every wrong act or disobedience, a concomitant punishment arises. A timed processing should also be stressed. Conversations why the said punishment was inflicted (what triggered and caused it; what happens if it's done again) should be done between the parent and the child. (This, when the child is done sulking and has come to his senses.)

Without limitations, one person would eventually reach his downfall. Understanding that one has limitations at a young age, the child and his/her perspective will be put to a demarcation.

As in everything, discipline should have its limitation. The best person to know where the limitations end is the person who would practice it.