No Bitter Ocampo for Hearts' Day!

Happy Hearts' Day, iSTORYAns.

Today, be prepared for heavy traffic-- both on the streets and straight from your newsfeeds (add that to the fact that it's a Friday and it's payday!). Be prepared also of Bitter Ocampos (sorry, I have to!) glaring at those who are armed with chocolates, stuffed toys, flowers, etc.


But really, there is no need to be bitter. Albeit Valentine's Day is a bit commercialized, it is such a balm to see love come alive, everyone has the reason to be mushy and all. Come on, you can mope about it but then it's just one day! Enjoy the day with friends and family and mope if you want for the other 364 days of the year.

How do you come out of being a Bitter Ocampo aka the Valentines' day Ebenezer Scrooge? Simple. Practice and invite love every day in your life. How again? Let me share how far an act or word of kindness and/or love can go. One kind word of encouragement, one smile and one kind act at the right time can be life-changing. I am always amazed at how it takes so little to put a smile on someone’s face and raise their spirits.

“Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts.” Robert Fulghum

So true. Let me share an inspiring story with you.
As a group of frogs traveled through the woods, two of them fell into a deep pit. The other frogs peeked in and told these two that they were as good as dead as it was impossible to come out. Ignoring the discouragement, these two frogs tried to jump out anyway. A while later, one of the frogs, lost its spirit in the constant discouragement and gave up…and died. The second frog kept on jumping. The more the others commented, the harder he tried. Finally, he jumped out!
“Didn’t you hear us?” asked the frogs.
“I am a little deaf. I thought you were cheering me on”, answered the frog.

Moral of the story? Yes! Encouraging words can make the difference between life and death, success and failure. They can go a very long way, influencing the individual for years to come.

An encouraging word steered my career. A kind act has saved my life by changing personal perspectives.
(Source: reflectingalife.com)

I used to have a boss who literally changed my life. She made me believe I could do anything. She made me feel I was the best. From being nervous about whether what I'm doing the right career for me, I became a big achiever in that organization.

What she did was simple. Each day before the end of office hours, she would sit us down and intently listen to our experiences, praising us far more than we needed to be with even minor victories. She helped us analyze what went wrong and how we could avoid it in the future. She would make us recall all our achievements in minute detail – what a surge of endorphins that was!

And we would go out to talk to people, we were walking on air! To this day, I am grateful for this “therapeutic process” and practice it with others, too. In fact, I was so taken up with making people feel good, it got me to a lot of opportunities and people who have helped me in a lot of aspects in my life right now. All because of the reinforcement I received.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

No Valentino? So What?!
Instead of moping the fact that Cupid might have missed out on you, look around you. Love doesn't have to come from romantic relationships. Today is the day to appreciate those who appreciate you every day and to give them back the love they selflessly give.

I am no Mother Teresa but I am happy that with the many challenges I had to go through, I made it through. I am lucky I was raised by my Mom and Dad who always assured me I was good enough and had the choice to feel good, or otherwise. This inspirational message is my motto. Their words, “Be kind, be loving, keep smiling” still ring in my ears. There are times when we don’t feel like, but doing it anyway definitely helps.

They had a huge sense of humor and never allowed me to dwell over an unpleasant experience or negative emotion after I talked about it. They pushed me to purge it out of my system and spend my precious energy on productive activities.

I strongly believe in life’s balance. While I had an unusual family situation, I was lucky to grow up with my Grandma, a remarkable person and the epitome of serenity. When I had doubts about my ability, she would say softly, “Of course you can do it” and this helped me sail through most situations, as long as I did not let my inner critic take over.

My friends and siblings were no less – I am always grateful to them for helping me build my self- with their constant “Yes, you can! We know you can do it! Go for it!”

With them, I will never be in dire need of a Valentino or Valentina. Seriously. No need to be bitter.

Positive reinforcement brings big benefits to the giver and the recipient. Some I can think of right away, are:
• It keeps us going, making us achieve things we would not have thought possible on our own
• Makes you feel better
• Everyone needs someone
• We have the power to empower others – just a kind word, a touch, a smile can transform someone’s life!
• Dissolves self-doubt
• It makes a difference between life and death, as we saw from the story of the frogs. I know of people who were suicidal, but let go of the idea thanks to an encourager.
• Builds self-esteem
• You start loving yourself more
(Source: reflectingalife.com)


Starting today, Valentine’s day, I encourage you to do one kind act or gentle word with the people who surround you. Call your parents and grandparents and tell them you love them. Cook breakfast or do some act of kindness. Better yet, do this every day. Let me share a few ways to encourage others:
• Praise God and thank God for being alive every morning and thank Him in advance for blessings to come pouring through.
• Start with yourself. Look in the mirror and acknowledge your effort. Pat yourself on the back and say, “You are a great person. I can inspire others today”.
• When you notice something nice, mention it. Be descriptive, specifying what you liked.
• When you introduce people, after the name exchange, say something nice about them. “This is Hope Cuenca. He’s my debate buddy and I love having intelligent conversations with him.” (example lang ha!)
• When you receive great service from someone, let other people know…at home, at the office.
• When you hear a great suggestion, acknowledge and let the person know how it helped.
• When you get together with a group of coworkers/friends/family, remember to praise something they did and let everyone know. Group cheer is great!
• Avoid talking down to people. Talk UP to them. Not “Oh, I should have known you would (nasty stuff)” Instead “You probably know this, but may I suggest you …”
• Be kind when you see someone feeling low. Say something nice. If they attempted something and didn’t get the result they wanted, praise their effort.
• Say thanks whenever you can. You’ve no idea how it can boost someone’s spirits. This includes the waitress, the security guard, the conductor, the balut vendor, the bus driver… and everyone else we take for granted.
(Source: reflectingalife.com)

I really could go on and on…but you know what I mean.

It is easy to praise someone who feels low by reminding them of how well they did something, automatically motivating them to do their best because now they believe they “can”.

Guess what? When you practice this, your actions might inspire others to do the same. How rewarding is that!

Go ahead. Change the world, be the change that you want the world to have. Make a difference in someone’s life. Live a life of purpose. You know you can.

Now, I have an invitation for you:
Encourage one another and notice the difference it makes.

Happy Hearts’ Day all! Spread the love <3


Mag iSTORYA ta. What are your plans for today and who are you spending it with?

-thisbe.ara-