The first thing I did was to text my sister who’s also a nurse. She was calm and asked me what stage it was. And that’s when it fully sunk in. My God, I have cancer. I told her that I still needed to talk to my doctor the following day for laboratory results.
I went back to work that afternoon just like any ordinary day. I did not tell my boss or anybody else, even my husband about the results that I received the other day. May it be denial or defense mechanism or whatever, I wasn’t ready to tell anyone else yet.
Things like this are not that easy to fathom, especially for someone like me who always faces life head on and with full control. It was hard because I didn’t like or I didn’t understand and accepted the fact that I have the big C. I even kid myself that the only stage I am afraid of is that of stage fright. I never thought I would face another stage. And a much scarier one at that.
The following day, my former boss accompanied me to the interpretation of my biopsy results. She went with me because she couldn’t believe also that I have it. She thought that I was just joking and that maybe my interpretation was wrong.
the author during one of her marathons
The doctor explained to me everything and told me that my thyroid gland had to be removed. Otherwise, the condition will become worse and my body clock is set to two to three years. He further said that there is no medicine that can cure this and it had to be removed right away. I was then referred to a surgeon for me to fully understand the operation details.
I went back to the office with my former boss and told my officemates of my illness. I was touched of the sympathy and concern they had for me. I told them not to cry because tears couldn’t cure cancer. If it could, then I would cry and cry rather than undergo the operation.
I’d like you to understand that I am not hard-hearted. For those battling the Big C, I am sure that they would agree with me that it really helps to see happy faces surrounding us because that is where we gain strength. Crying and submitting to negative forces will not help me at all. Positive energy and a positive in life keeps me going and keeps me fighting for my life, not just for me but most especially for my husband and kids. I had to be strong for if I succumb to weakness, who else can be strong for me?
I visited the surgeon with my sister the following day so that the operation can be scheduled as soon as possible. I decided for an operation right away without my husband’s and family’s knowledge, except for my sister.
It took me a week to tell my husband that I would undergo an operation after I made sure everything was ready—my SSS, PhilHealth, health insurance documents, and cash advances from my company for medical purchases. My sister prepped me that I had to be emotionally and mentally prepared before the operation. With my faith in God, I was.
April 5, 2010 was the day my husband dropped me off at the emergency room of the hospital because he had to leave for work and I had to be the one to do my own admission. I had a series of lab tests that day prior to the operation for clearance purposes.
My husband and my sister arrived late in the afternoon. My operation was set at 9am the following day.
April 6, 2010. I had a successful operation and was back in my room at 5:00 in the afternoon.
I had a month of recovery prior to my radiation therapy which was scheduled last May 5, 2010. I was admitted again and was in FULL isolation for three whole days. This term, isolation, must have been the most painful part of my run. No visitors were alloed during that period and I had to do everything on my own—eating, sleeping, watching TV. My food and medicines were served and left everyday outside the door in my room. The nurses will just give me instructions through phone or through a glass window at my door that it was time for me to drink my meds or if my food was ready. Sometimes, they remind me to sit one to two meters away from them and to stay put in the corner of my room. I understand that this is precautionary for safety on both parties but it was so depressing, emotionally painful and heartbreaking, I felt I was all alone.
And adding salt to injury, full isolation meant being away from my kids. It was so tough for me because at that time, they too became sick and it frustrated me that I wasn’t there for them and I couldn’t do anything except talk to them on the phone. I am sure that mothers would know how hard it was to be in my situation. I really missed them so much because it was my first time away from them. I couldn’t sleep at night because I keep on thinking about them but I had to wait until June 16, the end schedule of my therapy.
It was then that I promised myself to be strong always and try hard not to cry because it will worsen the then-depressing situation. I chose to be strong because my kids needed me and I decided to be well and not succumb to depression because I couldn’t stand that I am away from them. I thanked God for giving me the wisdom and the acceptance to face the reality and harshness of this thing called the Big C.
June 16, 2010—the long wait was over, I was finally home.
My Marathons
I started running as a means of diversion and exercise. I first ran at the 1st Cebu City Marathon. It was my first accomplishment and I was so proud of finishing 42kms. It was very tough and there was a time when I was about to give up because 42kms was too far for me to reach but I did it in 6hrs and 34mins. Not too bad for a first timer like me. I would never have made it without His guidance.
That was the first of the many runs I joined. I joined the UltraMarathon last November 2010 and the farthest was last November 2011 for the Cebu Century Challenge where I had to run 140km from Bogo to Plaza Independencia.
Everyday could be a very depressing moment if I will not fight for my life. I will be taking a thyroid hormone for the rest of my life to normalize my metabolism. Too much running could lead to cardiac arrest if I go beyond my limitation. So far, I have learned that I am strong enough to run and that I am given by God a very high limit. I have to cherish this blessing.
Survival rate of my illness is 90%. So definitely this is not the end of my life yet.
My decision to run marathons are associated with the determination to continue with my run for life, my run/battle against cancer. Marathons are tough but life battles are tougher. I want to make a statement that I can survive this for the sake of myself, my family and most especially my kids.
My next run will be on March 10 this year for Cebu’s First All-Women 50k Ultramarathon. I urge and encourage all women who are in themselves, fighting and surviving their own battles—be it cancer or anything that life brings. Let every sweat speak for our hearts and our spirit, let every step inspire those who are fighting their own battles. Run for a reason, run for a cause, run for yourself and run for life. Because it is worth every step and every sweat.
I will still keep on running as long as I can, be it on the road or in my life. I will never stop hoping and will always run to survive this battle.
Life is too short, we don’t know what it would bring. You will never know when it’s time to go.
All we can do is make the most of it, be happy and inspire others as much as we can.
Story Shared by:
Annabelle P. Dinoy
Chief Accountant, Cebu Parklane International Hotel
Ultra Runner
Bai Parklane Runner
Inspirational Wife, Mother and Friend
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