Dear Diary,
As Samu Malaykum! For years, I have been successful in eluding capture from those puny Americans. For this, glory to Allah! From the dark caves of Afghanistan and now to my mansion in Pakistan, I have tenaciously endured the difficulty of evading the United States Armed Forces. I must admit, life has not been easy. Since the day I declared war against those puny Americans, I have lived a tediously secluded lifestyle. Far from my once lavish life as a billionaire, I am now living in a meager way and on constant guard. Aside from the persistent paranoia, one thing that has been killing me is my overwhelming boredom.
With nothing but television, I have nothing to past my idle time when I'm not in a meeting on planning my next attack with my fellow terrorists. Sometimes, I just spend my whole afternoon taking pictures of myself in my room. Like other bored but vain people, I engage in the flirty activity of cam whoring. For years of doing so, I have already amassed a great number of coquettish self taken photos. I particularly like the picture where I was sticking my tongue out to the side while winking. I look cute on that photograph. Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of posting these photos online like other narcissistic people for fear of being traced by those puny Americans. I must confess, I am such a cam whore.
In the closed confines of my room, I lock myself alone to listen to my iPod. Lately, I have been listening to a lot of Justin Beiber. I even sing along with his songs. What I can do? I cannot help it. That boy is a genius. Good thing, he is not an American. I am careful though that my wife and son would not hear me sing along to Baby or Eenie Meenie. It is such a shame for them to find out that the world's most fearsome terrorist like I am is a Justin Beiber fan. Speaking of my son, I have a funny feeling that he is a homo. He is always insistent in asking me to trim my hair and my trademark beard. He was even the one who did my make up and clothes when I filmed my last terrorist video for those puny Americans. Aside from getting arrested or killed, my greatest fear is seeing my son as a future gay terrorist.
There are days when all I do is engage in a dvd marathon. Of course, being no longer a billionaire, the dvds I am using are bootleg and pirated which are being supplied by my fellow Muslim brothers. One that I really enjoy watching is the tv series Glee. Since I am a lover of music, I am elated with all the singing and dancing in that show. I was also enthralled in that particular Glee episode with that little Filipino girl named Charice. She has an amazing voice. Her fellow Filipinos are right. Charice is a global star. Her face looks like a globe. I could not help it. Every time I'm watching Glee, I feel so gay.
It is unfortunate that my villa is not equipped with internet so as not to detect this hideout of mine. Admittedly, I have always wanted to have a Facebook or Twitter account to update my terrorist friends and fans of my latest status. Being the most wanted man, I cannot have internet access where I can inform people online what I ate for dinner, what I watch on tv, and what weapon I just bought. I cannot even post the first time I took a bath in six months.
Wait... am I hearing a chopper landing in the vicinity of my mansion or am I just being paranoid? Those might be the pesky Americans. I must get my gun and check it out. Until then....
Osama
Sent from my friend through email...
The Secret Diary Of Osama Bin Laden
Originally Posted by *sludge*
hahaha...di mani diary ni osama..diary mani ni BORAT
)
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