what if you're not your dad's priority?

[maddox_pitt]

---

i've been opening and closing the "post new thread" icon for like 2 hours now...i don't know how to start..
ani na lang...
my dad is a family man..family includes his mom, siblings, nephews and nieces...
yes, you read it right... dili mi apil..ngano nakaingon man ko ani?
kay since my parents married my mom never received a single cent from my dad...when i was younger and we lived with my lola, he'll give all his money to my lola instead of giving it to my mom....it came to the point na wala na koy gatas, ako mom(who was pregnant that time with my brother) almost had an abortion and fainted a lot of times kay wala mi kaunon... it's pretty complicated..pero ganito, my dad worked for an engineering firm and he'd leave early in the morning and go back home late in the evening kay layo ang house sa ako lola..unya thinking that he left money to my lola, di na sad xa mangita or mangutana if naba mi sud-an o wala.. then he'll leave for work..ako mom naman that time had a difficult pregnancy...she just completed her residency training pero tungod sa kalisod sa iyang kahimtang, wala sa xa nitrabaho (she was 36 that time so high risk pregnancy na)...unya ako lola sad, itago ang kaldero ug uban pa na pagkaon sa iyang kwarto niya i.lock...kadugayan pati balay i.lock naa mi sulod...so after some time to-a na lang mi sa ever gotesco sa ko mama ug duha ka ig-agaw (mama side) maghuwat sako papa inig-uli para lang makaginhawa mi...
my mom asked my dad if we can move out...karon every time mangita sila ug house ang akong lola magdrama..yknow na...and most of the time paadtoon mi nuon sa novaliches (where my aunt was staying) kay ngayo kuno ug tabang didto... kani sad akong amahan musugot ra sad...so needless to say, we were never able to move out..
unya karon wala na nakaya sako mama, she called home and asked help from her family...so the day she called, her brother booked us a flight home...the day we left niingon ko lola sako mama "unsaon man si ***(name sako papa)?" nitubag ko mama "imuha na lang siya"
it was only 2 months later when my dad finally learned that we're never going back to manila to stay with them...and it was only then na nagsumbong ko mama about sa binuhatan sako lola namo... bad part was, wala nitoo ako papa (until karon).....

my dad went home for good 2 years later...a lot of things happened in between...basta all boils down to him giving more support to them than us...and my mom almost "solely" raised us (me and my bro)...meaning gasto sa balay gikan sako mama dili sako papa...

to be honest everything seemed so vague until pagdako nako, i realized wala jud diay nagbinuang ko mama...tinuod jud diay..ko papa di jud kaayo musuporta namo,...sa school, my dad would give financially pero depende sa buwan..july-oct, feb mao ra for our tuition...unya allowance share sila sako mama... mga occasions, christmas, new year etc....no..you can't count on dad...di xa muhatag..pero bantay kung mga migo niya muhatag.... unya there are several occasions na mangayo mi tabang niya di mi tabangan... unsaon... there were also times when he'd give money to my aunts and their kids..almost everyday (mureklamo na lang ang secretary sako papa before kay kulit daw kaau)...and kung kami na mangayo di mi tagaan...

karon, my younger brother went to manila last sem...para "usa" na lang daw sila sa ko papa... thing is, until now they're still living in my aunt's house...and yes, kung unsa'y natabo sako mama, ana pud sako manghod karon..and my dad always dismisses us whenever we ask kung kanus-a sila mubalhin ug house muana na xa "ayaw na pamroblema ana... ako na'y bahala..next week balhin na mi"...it was november...3mos ago... karon i talked to my brother, ingon xa di xa katulog if dili pa matulog ang uban (in short puno ang house bisag asa lang sila matulog)....niya di xa ganahan sa treatment sa taw..

just to make a point, my dad can afford to have a place of his own if he "wants" to kay he's earning quite big... pero till now la jud...unya mga july pa to xa kahibaw na mubalhin na ko manghod didto...

kamo, what will you do as an "ate" or a "kuya" to protect your younger sibling from this situation?given im miles apart from them..
and am i overreacting?i mean, don't i have a right to ask my dad about having a place of their own?i mean bisag small pad basta sila lang duha safe ug makatulog ug tarong....haiz...i talked to my dad and he was like "pauli-a na lang na xa".. is it right to jeopardize the education of your son para lang ana?
and what's the best way to approach your dad para makasabot xa sa imung side? (i tried alot of ways na, during the break i talked to him, 3 wks ago i asked him and most recently 3 hours ago i asked him again...pero i dunno..maybe he's as stubborn as me...)

*sorry taas kaau*

[Ginalyn]

i've been opening and closing the "post new thread" icon for like 2 hours now...i don't know how to start..
ani na lang...
my dad is a family man..family includes his mom, siblings, nephews and nieces...
yes, you read it right... dili mi apil..ngano nakaingon man ko ani?
kay since my parents married my mom never received a single cent from my dad...when i was younger and we lived with my lola, he'll give all his money to my lola instead of giving it to my mom....it came to the point na wala na koy gatas, ako mom(who was pregnant that time with my brother) almost had an abortion and fainted a lot of times kay wala mi kaunon... it's pretty complicated..pero ganito, my dad worked for an engineering firm and he'd leave early in the morning and go back home late in the evening kay layo ang house sa ako lola..unya thinking that he left money to my lola, di na sad xa mangita or mangutana if naba mi sud-an o wala.. then he'll leave for work..ako mom naman that time had a difficult pregnancy...she just completed her residency training pero tungod sa kalisod sa iyang kahimtang, wala sa xa nitrabaho (she was 36 that time so high risk pregnancy na)...unya ako lola sad, itago ang kaldero ug uban pa na pagkaon sa iyang kwarto niya i.lock...kadugayan pati balay i.lock naa mi sulod...so after some time to-a na lang mi sa ever gotesco sa ko mama ug duha ka ig-agaw (mama side) maghuwat sako papa inig-uli para lang makaginhawa mi...
my mom asked my dad if we can move out...karon every time mangita sila ug house ang akong lola magdrama..yknow na...and most of the time paadtoon mi nuon sa novaliches (where my aunt was staying) kay ngayo kuno ug tabang didto... kani sad akong amahan musugot ra sad...so needless to say, we were never able to move out..
unya karon wala na nakaya sako mama, she called home and asked help from her family...so the day she called, her brother booked us a flight home...the day we left niingon ko lola sako mama "unsaon man si ***(name sako papa)?" nitubag ko mama "imuha na lang siya"
it was only 2 months later when my dad finally learned that we're never going back to manila to stay with them...and it was only then na nagsumbong ko mama about sa binuhatan sako lola namo... bad part was, wala nitoo ako papa (until karon).....

my dad went home for good 2 years later...a lot of things happened in between...basta all boils down to him giving more support to them than us...and my mom almost "solely" raised us (me and my bro)...meaning gasto sa balay gikan sako mama dili sako papa...

to be honest everything seemed so vague until pagdako nako, i realized wala jud diay nagbinuang ko mama...tinuod jud diay..ko papa di jud kaayo musuporta namo,...sa school, my dad would give financially pero depende sa buwan..july-oct, feb mao ra for our tuition...unya allowance share sila sako mama... mga occasions, christmas, new year etc....no..you can't count on dad...di xa muhatag..pero bantay kung mga migo niya muhatag.... unya there are several occasions na mangayo mi tabang niya di mi tabangan... unsaon... there were also times when he'd give money to my aunts and their kids..almost everyday (mureklamo na lang ang secretary sako papa before kay kulit daw kaau)...and kung kami na mangayo di mi tagaan...

karon, my younger brother went to manila last sem...para "usa" na lang daw sila sa ko papa... thing is, until now they're still living in my aunt's house...and yes, kung unsa'y natabo sako mama, ana pud sako manghod karon..and my dad always dismisses us whenever we ask kung kanus-a sila mubalhin ug house muana na xa "ayaw na pamroblema ana... ako na'y bahala..next week balhin na mi"...it was november...3mos ago... karon i talked to my brother, ingon xa di xa katulog if dili pa matulog ang uban (in short puno ang house bisag asa lang sila matulog)....niya di xa ganahan sa treatment sa taw..

just to make a point, my dad can afford to have a place of his own if he "wants" to kay he's earning quite big... pero till now la jud...unya mga july pa to xa kahibaw na mubalhin na ko manghod didto...

kamo, what will you do as an "ate" or a "kuya" to protect your younger sibling from this situation?given im miles apart from them..
and am i overreacting?i mean, don't i have a right to ask my dad about having a place of their own?i mean bisag small pad basta sila lang duha safe ug makatulog ug tarong....haiz...i talked to my dad and he was like "pauli-a na lang na xa".. is it right to jeopardize the education of your son para lang ana?
and what's the best way to approach your dad para makasabot xa sa imung side? (i tried alot of ways na, during the break i talked to him, 3 wks ago i asked him and most recently 3 hours ago i asked him again...pero i dunno..maybe he's as stubborn as me...)

*sorry taas kaau*

Your dad is a tagalog?
You mom a bisaya?
Normal ra man ni nila.
Same thing happened to my sister.
She married a mama's boy from sampaloc.
Adto modulog sa iyang mama ang iyang husband.
Pero walay trabaho, akong sis naay trabaho.
Dili mo arig cebu iyang husband, kay dili gusto biyaan iyang mama.


Pero namugus akong sis.
Niuli jud sila.
Paguli nila diri kuyog iyang bana, pakonsensya effect ang mama.
Niuli sad tawn dayon ang mama's boy.
Dulog silag higda sa iyang mama dayon.

Pagtrabaho sa akong sister didto,
gikapoyan sa iyang bana kay mas importante pa iyang mama kaysa iyang asawa ug anak.

Gibiyaan nila didto.
Nakauyab siyag laing tagalog nasad.
Labaw pang problema kay bisyoso.
Shabu, palahubog, hambugero.

Wala gyud nitagam.
Pangita na lang mog bisaya oi.

[hakizimana]

i can relate, maybe not personally, but i know a friend who's xperiencing such. Pait kau ng ingon ana becoz supposedly ang usa ka guy muConcentrate sa iyang gbuilt na family, LITERALLY BUILT.. dili sa family kung asa xa gkan. But of course someone have to look back pwo naa unta mga priorities.. OM, I'm just lucky that my father is a great balancer.. that's why he call himself WCB.. as in World Class Balancer..hahah... Ngipirt ra?

Pwo, sabta nalng na bai... mao ra sa na atong mabuhat ron. Mmph.. he can only change himself..

[balolot]

antos lang sa kay sa pag ka karon, nag skul pa man kaha imo younger bro'.
time comes puede na cya mubalik dre...
pro mas maayo cguro ka human sa klase ari nalang imo bro' bahala na ug nag lisod kay sa adto cya dd2 daug2gun pa ka...

much better to stay with your mom kamo duha...
everything will be alright, as long as together mo tulo, di nalang iapil imo dad.
hopeless man sad, di pa cguro karon ang time na maka realize cya sa iyang loss.

so sad lang...

[maddox_pitt]

Your dad is a tagalog?
You mom a bisaya?
Normal ra man ni nila.
Same thing happened to my sister.
She married a mama's boy from sampaloc.
Adto modulog sa iyang mama ang iyang husband.
Pero walay trabaho, akong sis naay trabaho.
Dili mo arig cebu iyang husband, kay dili gusto biyaan iyang mama.


Pero namugus akong sis.
Niuli jud sila.
Paguli nila diri kuyog iyang bana, pakonsensya effect ang mama.
Niuli sad tawn dayon ang mama's boy.
Dulog silag higda sa iyang mama dayon.

Pagtrabaho sa akong sister didto,
gikapoyan sa iyang bana kay mas importante pa iyang mama kaysa iyang asawa ug anak.

he's not exactly tagalog...pero he was raised in Manila...and all his siblings and their mom are in Manila... actually, ako lang isa ang naa diri... my mom's here pero she's assigned somewhere else mejo layo... she comes home every other wk though....

same jud natabo sis uy.... every time mulayo ko dad, pakonsenxa effect q lola ug yang mga igsuon... pait lang kay mas mutuo xa nila...unsaon nalang intawn mi?

di jud ko kasabot..maglagot lang ko kay ko manghod nangita jud ug gugma sa ko papa....i honestly thought my dad would take GOOD care of him kay niadto bitaw ko manghod niya.... apparently, we were wrong..

[maddox_pitt]

i can relate, maybe not personally, but i know a friend who's xperiencing such. Pait kau ng ingon ana becoz supposedly ang usa ka guy muConcentrate sa iyang gbuilt na family, LITERALLY BUILT.. dili sa family kung asa xa gkan. But of course someone have to look back pwo naa unta mga priorities.. OM, I'm just lucky that my father is a great balancer.. that's why he call himself WCB.. as in World Class Balancer..hahah... Ngipirt ra?

Pwo, sabta nalng na bai... mao ra sa na atong mabuhat ron. Mmph.. he can only change himself..

good for you...
my dad...i dunno...engr man ta uy..di man xa kahibaw ug math para equal mi sa iyang family uy..... saon...
truth is, i tried to understand him..i really did... and im still trying..pero lahi na siguro kung apil na ko igsuon.....

[maddox_pitt]

antos lang sa kay sa pag ka karon, nag skul pa man kaha imo younger bro'.
time comes puede na cya mubalik dre...
pro mas maayo cguro ka human sa klase ari nalang imo bro' bahala na ug nag lisod kay sa adto cya dd2 daug2gun pa ka...

much better to stay with your mom kamo duha...
everything will be alright, as long as together mo tulo, di nalang iapil imo dad.
hopeless man sad, di pa cguro karon ang time na maka realize cya sa iyang loss.

so sad lang...

mao jud siguro.muabot na lang ang time na muuli xa namo..pero every vacation, it's not the same anymore...do you know the feeling na the room's getting smaller for all of you?ana ang feeling if naa ko dad...i can't understand it myself...weird... or, just the consequences of things that had happened?

but yeah, that's why i came home..para kuyog mi sako mama...my mom's assigned somewhere else man sad gud.. pero muuli xa every other week... paulion na lang tingale namo ko manghod uy...at least diri, ingon pa sako mama, "dili siya second class citizen".....