EXCERPT FROM A FICTITIOUS INTERVIEW IN THE PHILIPPINE DAILY INQUIRER:
Benigno:
So what is it about the Philippines that keeps you coming back for more?
Mr. Corruption:
I love the people and the people love me! Aside from this, mahilig mag-yabangan at mag-lamangan ang mga Pinoy sa kapwa nilang Pinoy. So Pinoys are very prone to the ravages of excessive consumerism to satisfy yung pangangailangan nilang mag-pasiklab — using stuff they could hardly afford — the latest celphones, luxury cars, tacky jewelry, and P80-to-P120-per-cup coffee in the top brand-for-gullibles cafe: Starbucks.