He Doesn't Love You Enough
>
>
> During what women believe to be the start of a budding romance, certainty
> about where the relationship is going is never questioned. To us, "it's
> in the bag" without necessarily saying this out loud. He calls, he tells
> me, he misses me, asks me out often, is relentlessly sweet and
> thoughtful. I am always on cloud nine and unapologetically unable to wipe
> the grin off my face. I am in love with him and although he hasn't said
> so yet, I am sure he loves me back.
>
>
> Herein lies the tragedy.
>
>
> With men, until he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend, you are not on
> safe ground. No matter how few the minutes are between his text messages
> or his phone calls, even if he has tried to hold your hand, carefully
> pick off the eyelash from under your eye, and wipe the crumb that was
> perched on your upper lip, assume that he just wants to be friends.
> Assume otherwise and you'll be in for a great big heartbreak.
>
>
> I am not trying to build a community of skeptics and cynics through this
> column but to warn all the women out there to tread the waters carefully
> before jumping in. I am your willing guide in your journey through the
> abyss of relationship. I am Yoda. I have been the confidante of so many
> men all these years that I know how their minds work. I know what they'll
> do next. I know what they want...because they tell me.
>
>
> Men are almost formulaic- especially those who have remained single after
> 25. When faced with the same given in the same situation, no matter where
> they come from, they will all do the same thing. Enter the questions
> women love to ask:
> 1. Why hasn't he called me the past few days?
> 2. If he likes being with me so much, why doesn't he leave his
> girlfriend/wife for me?
>
>
>
>
>
> As much as we would like to fall back into thinking that men are idiots
> and need a little shove into the right direction, I advise you to please
> keep your hands where they are.
>
>
> Do not text, call or make a bigger fool of yourself.
>
>
> There is just one answer to all three questions: he doesn't love you
> enough.
>
>
> Let's take each situation one at a time. He hasn't called you the past
> few days... Women will immediately assume that something's wrong. His
> cellphone is off, he is sick, he got into an accident he's upset with me
> etc. We spend hours trying to think of what could possibly be preventing
> him from calling us. Once we come up with the most logical answer, e.g.
> he is sick, we decide to text him. We say to ourselves,
>
>
> "okay lang for me to text him, at least he'll think that I care about him
> and that I'm thoughtful. Plus, once lang naman to e. After this, I'll
> never initiate texting."
>
>
> More brazen women ould come right out, all the guy and ask, "Why haven't
> you called me?" Whenever my women friends tell me they did this, I
> visibly cringe and have to stop myself from hitting them over the head.
> You see, men's initial feelings for a woman are not usually carved in
> stone.
>
>
> How they feel about you is very much like writing on the sand. You have
> to be careful so that they don't change their minds about you. My guy
> friends who confide in me (voluntarily) have the same facial statement
> when they tell me about the girl who asked them that question,
>
>
> "Why haven't you called me?"
>
>
> They look like they have the heebie-jeebies. They freak out and are this
> close to complaining about this. They haven't called you because they
> don't feel like it. They might feel like it later but at the moment they
> don't so they won't. They are aware you exist and don't need you to
> remind them about it. They will let your first call go this time but
> already, they are leaning toward "not feeling like calling you" on a
> long-term basis.
>
>
> Do you want that? I don't think so. They also tell me that men are
> entitled to change their minds the way women do. They are also flaky and
> "not sure" all the time, He hasn't left his girlfriend or his wife for
> you. Sometimes men are looking for icing on the cake in the form of a
> woman friend who plugs in all the gaps that his better half cannot fill.
> She is usually somebody with slightly different qualities than his mate.
> He enjoys being with her, calls her all the time, consults with her about
> life-altering decisions but does not really come out and make a decision
> about who he wants to be with simply because he is in a "safe place." He
> has the best of both worlds and doesn't need to make a choice. If he
> hasn't left her for you yet, chances are, he won't.
>
>
> Telltale signs:
>
>
> She is still his priority.
>
>
> When she calls and asks him to pick her up, he hurriedly finishes his
> meal and tells you that he has to go. When you ask him out on days when
> he has to take her home, he'll say he can't. You notice that you are only
> together when his schedule permits it and when seeing you doesn't
> conflict with his time with her. You get the crumbs. This kind of
> arrangement only tells you that he doesn't love you enough to forsake his
> girlfriend for you. If he takes a chance by leaving her for you, you're
> sure that he loves you.Most men would stay with the safe, the tried and
> tested over risking everything. It takes a lot for them to, believe me.
> Obviously, you don't want to be second best or the pangtawid-gutom.
>
>
> Find someone who will make you his only priority.
>
>
> Although they pretend and seem otherwise, men are not idiots when it
> comes to matters of the heart. They know full well what they want out of
> the relationship. They do not need to be rescued by you. They don't need
> hints, carefully crafted text messages or highway billboards that promise
> them a bed of roses with you. If they really like you, they will do
> anything to get you to like them back. You just have to sit there and
> wait for your nails to dry. Trust me. I can get enough signatures from
> the creeps to validate this.
He doesn't love you enough. For those who assumes!
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