so ugh, where do I start? I guess better to tell you everything to get a better picture.
So I've met this girl early 2020, she's stunning and all of I've dated before she's a perfect for me. About me, I'm just an average guy with goals in life but the thing is I'm one of those who are called "May sabit" well I got 2 kids with my ex-live in partner. One is a 12 years old and the other one is about 4 months old. about the 4 months old there was a time I was so drunk and haven't got no else to talk to about problems so I've contacted my ex-live in partner in which something did happened last year June and didn't know that what we did during that night ended up having my second child.
so it was a smooth sailing for our relationship with the girl I've met early 2020, until she found out about the second baby that I wanted to hide it for a some time till I got a strength to tell her about it. until then she confronted me on what she had know about my secret(yes about my second child). Explained it to her that I'm only doing financial support for the kids and that second child was prior when we met. every time we have some light arguments and she keeps bringing that up. I know it was a mistake to hide it from her but then again I've already explained it to her on what happened.
here's come another major problem just few days ago, I've told my gf that I will be attending the christening of my second child since I am obligated to do so, but the thing is aside from keeping a secret from her about my second child but there was a condition with my ex-live in partner telling me that would be okay for me can we just be together for some time until the kids grow and understand why we were apart, I didn't tell my ex-live in partner that I've already have a gf. My biggest mistake was lying on both sides and lying from myself. of course I agreed about the condition and felt pity on her about it, then I'm that idiot who just put my phone with thinking twice that she might try to unlock it and read some messages, well it did happened and right after the christening she messaged my gf about "US" and that condition she was asking for me that I've agreed to it. now I'm so messed up due to this situation I'm in right now and yes I admit it was all of my mistake.
I really love my gf, I don't want to lose her and I am willing to do everything just to win her back. She said a lot of bad things about me but I know I've hurt her so much. what should I do? I don't want to keep on bothering her for the time being but I'm scared that she might slip away just like that.