HELP, I need some advice about child custody and a lot more....

[catnip23]

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Hi All,

I have a very big problem. I had this civil wedding before, I was 20, the guy was 26 during that time. We just went to a municipal court, gave our marriage license that was issued by the cebu city registrar then the 2 clerks told us that they will be the witnesses, they informed us to be back the following week so we can get the marriage certificates but we never had the wedding ceremony, no presiding judge or anyone. We just gave our marriage license to them then we got our marriage certificate the next week already signed by a judge in capitol. That was last 2000. Then, last 2004, we got separated after more than a year of having a shaken relationship. I never received anything from him for our daughter since then and I was the one supplementing all my kid's needs.

We never had any communication after that,I fell in love with my bestfriend and eventually, I got pregnant. I received a text from him and inform him about it, he replied that it is ok even if we are living together as long as I am happy because he is also moving on.

And last June, he went to see me because he wants to talk about our kid. He said that he wants to take the kid away from me and put her with her grandparents in Negros Oriental, with whom my daughter doesn't even know because his parents doesn't like me. My daughter is 7 years old now and she wants to take her to his parents because he can't keep her as he works for a shipping company and doesn't really live here in Cebu.

He threaten me that if I will not let my kid go, he would sue me and my partner. He said that I definitely would go to jail especially that I have a baby with my partner now and that will be a big evidence. He is holding a marriage certificate issued by NSO but the place of marriage is different.

I haven't seen my daughter now for 4 months, nor talk to her, I tried to call my ex's mother but she told me that she can't let my daughter talk to me. I just want to ask, I know I made a mistake but does that keep me from my daughter. After 3 years of nothing from him, then now he can take her away from me like I really don't have the right for my kid? Is that how it works?

I am really confused, I know all of these is just me being so dumb but I hope some of you can give me insights. I am also out of work right now so I really don't know what to do about it.

[diem]

[color=navy]I humbly suggest that you should consult a lawyer about this matter because since your husband has the law on his side, I suggest that you fight fire with fire. The law can help you in this matter, as well, If not a resolution to this matter then perhaps a compromise.

Consulting and acquiring a lawyer's services will require that you can afford to. So if you really want to have your daughter back the right way, being unemployed is not the best situation to be in because it would reflect badly on your capability as a parent to provide proper care to your daughter.

What I really suggest is that you acquire more than enough financial means to acquire a lawyer's services, file for the annulment of your civil marriage from your estranged husband and fight for your daughter's custody in court.

I know this may seem easier said than done but it can be done. It's this, or don't do anything about it and move on with your life as best you can.

Wishing you the best.

[necrotic freak]

better consult a lawyer.. becuase it seems like the law is in your husbands side... well yes, your ex can sue you and your partner and you possibly end up in jail for that matter.. tanaw nako sa imong case kay tagilid jud ka ana bisag asa pa mo korteha mag abot. anyway, lets wait for the others what they can advice on your problem..

[chipper_buy]

Ask for legal consult on ur problem before u made any move...

Ur case is very common now.. Im sure u can use the time the father for 3 years didn't give any support to the child..use that as ur ground for lack of responsibility..

As for the new baby in ur womb..that could be a problem..could he could file a case because of that .. i think u know what the case for that...even though u 2 got separated neither of u file for annulment so as to void ur marriage license -- even though no ceremony has been performed in ur marriage as long as the signature of the judge is in the paper it is valid..

For the custody of the child..u can fight him on the court ..so long as u are also capable of raising and supporting the child ...

[pnoize]

I am not a lawyer but here's what I think.

Confirm that your marriage is valid. It may have been a scam that is not registered with the NSO.

Children less than 7 years old have to be with their mothers. Unless she is seen as unfit to be of parental authority to this child which have to be proven in court. From what I know, that is the law.

See a lawyer.

[catnip23]

Thanks to all that replied. I really appreciated it.

Is the wedding really valid even if there is no ceremony and no judge at all and even if I don't have my parents during the wedding because I am still 20 during that time. I am not really sure but I read something about it on the family code.

Can anybody refer me to a lawyer who is good at this kind of issues. I don't have work right now but I will be starting on Oct. 8 and my salary is fairly big too. I think I'll go for it but I really don't know where to go because there are also lawyers right now that don't even care as long as they have your pay.

to pnoize2k7: my ex has an NSO marriage certificate but the place of marriage is different and my kid is already 7 year's old. My ex said that is why he waited until she is 7 so that he can get her for custody.

[diem]

[color=navy]The fact that there is a marriage certificate which exists presents that your union with your ex has some legality. Do you have also a NSO-certified copy of your marriage certificate? If not, I suggest that you acquire one to give to the lawyer you would consult.

Again. only a lawyer can really determine how much of an obstacle will that be in annuling your marriage and regaining the custody of your child.

And pnoize2k7 is right in suggesting that this could be another marriage scam. There is already similar cases like this before where the civil ceremony was made in haste and without presiding judge being present.

Since the possibility that this could be a marriage scam, maybe you can approach the Integrated Bar of the Philippines (IBP) - Cebu City Chapter who is offering legal aid against marriage scams. Anyway, just an idea.

[catnip23]

thank you diem. I think I will go ahead and do that.

there is a new development with my prob though, my ex wants me to file an annullment so that he can marry his girlfriend and he said that he is willing to cooperate and even split the expenses with me.

can anybody refer me to a lawyer because I really don't know where to go.. thanks all

[diem]

[color=navy]^^@catsnip, I cannot really recommend anyone to you but here are some local lawyers that I found on-line~

Mercado Cordero Bael Acuna & Sepulveda Law Office

*Genral practice including family and estate matters.

Address: 3/F CAO Mercado Building
Osmeña Boulevard, Cebu City
Telephone: (63-32) 253-4941 or 253-5209 or 253-5730
Fax number: (63-32) 245-4786
E-mail: fermlaw@col.net.ph

P.B. Flores & Associates Law & Realty

*Adoption, annulment of marriage

Address: Suite 601, 6th floor, Ayala Life FGU-Center
Cebu Business Park, Cebu City 6000
Telephone: (63-32) 231-3577
Mobile number: 0918-938 9588
Telefax number: (63-32) 231-3070
E-mail: pbfloreslawfirm@yahoo.com

M.R. Lepiten Law Office

*Practicing lawyer for 15 years. Has extensive experience in family law.

Address: 21-F Rodriguez St., Capitol Site , Cebu City, Cebu, Philippines ,6000
Phone No.: (6332) 255- 5799, (6332) 412-4993, (6332) 259-8277 , 09189357310 , Fax: 63322548005 , EMail: Email: mrlepiten@lepitenlaw.com

Online Sources:
http://www.lepitenlaw.com/
http://manila.usembassy.gov/wwwfalaw.pdf

Just do some inquiries and carefully evaluate which lawyer whose personality and fees works best for you and your ex-husband. Just remember when something (or someone) seems too good to be true, they usually are.

Wishing you and your family all the best.

[catnip23]

to diem: thank you for your effort. I will try to contact all of them. I just hope I will find the right one. Thanks agen