Which is more important to start married life? Financial?or Emotional Stability?

[n`gel]

---

I used to have this very interesting discussion with a great musician in our hometown and a great mentor. He married his wife at young age, the time I left the Philippines for here, he had 2 kids. He was a musician by heart and mind and that's all he did... music. When I was younger and once active in the music scene, I kinda had the impression that they jumped to marriage too early and unprepared... kay dili man gyud abunda sa material nga needs. Pobre gyud, pero happy sila.

And one time, nagka diskurso mi about love and marriage. He asked, do you need to be financially stable to decide to marry? Or you need emotional stability instead, that's all you really need? I answered, dapat financially stable kay lisud kaayo ang panahon. But then he said, pinaka importante ang emotional stability... genuine unselfish love for each other kay bisan kuno unsang klaseng problema, basta emotionally stable mo, malampasan ra gyud ninyong duha. He further said, mga datu dili man gani mawad-an ug problema? That means bisan naa kay daghang kwarta, kamong manag-asawa moagi gyud gihapon ug problema, and if you're not emotional stable dili ma successful ang marriage.

And so... I thought to myself... I really wanna internalize and analyze what he said... kung tinuod ba nga emotional stability is all you need to enter into marriage. When you finally meet your perfect match, the one you don't ever wanna let go anymore, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, what are you gonna do? When you both aren't financially stable yet? You wait... perhaps get engaged. In Philippine setting let's take it as our example... marriage is forever. The question is... can you really wait that long to prepare financially? Naa pa gyud gihapo'y bisa'g engaged na magkabuwag pa gyud. The kind of problem I wanna talk about here does not dwell on incompatibility, dapat at this stage, you both feel nga kamo na gyud. These problems could be caused by outside factors like work or friends. Kay I know, some people nga engaged, naa gyuy sahay mabaw ra kaayo ang reason ngano nagkabuwag.

Whilst... if you get married na... and keep that person forever... ug magka problema mo, you don't need to separate kung baga bisan unsa kalisud ang problema ... you stay together and no matter what, your bond together is strong and infallible. If you don't have that emotional stability, bisan unsa mo kadaghan ug kwarta, dali ra kaayo mahuyang ang relationship.

So then let's talk about which one do we really need best? Financial? or Emotional stability? A couple can get married and wait to have kids until they're financially ready man di ba? So why not get married and get tied, so you don't lose each other. I think my mentor was and is right. When you reach that emotional stability, go for it, keep each other and don't let go na. What's important is you're with the person you love and you have her permanently. Work together to reach that financial stability.

Note: Hmmm I'm kinda thinking if ari or sa Love is pero I think I like to discuss this here kay marriage naman gyud ni, mga tua sa love is mga bata pa man to... apil ko  But seriously... ari lang siguro.

[Ms.Beau]

i think you answered your own question na, n'gel. ya, i think too that emotional stability is more important than financial stability. for practical reasons, however, I would still qualify financial stability to come right next. there might be no babies right away but you still have to spend for the wedding, honeymoon, rent/mortgage, food, utilities, emergencies, etc. It would be ideal indeed to have both.

[Streetcar]

Right N`gel, emotional stability should come first because the rest will just follow nicely if you have that strength in the relationship to keep you going and battle through the rough times.

[junmar4]

KWARTA!

[charmz_fire]

agree,.. emotional stability must come first.. usa pa ng financial.
ky if ur not emotionally ready bisan naa kay dghan kwarta mo end up ra gehapon mo ug seperation!
der r still dghan nga factor na dapat e-consider dan sa money.. coz money cant buy everything..!

[*dudes*]

for me, people who are financially stable reflects emotional stability, for me its BOTH, it goes ahnd in hand

[diem]

[font=arial][b] I have come to see that financial stability comes from couples who are emotionally stable in their own selves and in each other

Emotional stability, I think, is a prerequisite for financial stability.

If both partners are such indviduals, they'll be able to make personal sacrifices for the greater good of the family.

It doesn't take much to succeed in life; it only needs PERSISTENCE, PERSERVERANCE, and PATIENCE. POSITIVISM and PRAYER also helps. And these virtues are often found in people who are able to control their emotions and have consistent character.

[Beetlebum]

Emotional stability is always more important. What is wealth if you don't have someone to share it with? A lot of my ex bosses are rich, but I can't help noticing all of them have been divorced at one point of their lives. Of course balance is key.

[Nasty Fire]

Emotional stability jed den financial dayon

[WinFlo]

for me, it should be both. but if i have to chose b/w the two, it would be emotional stability. coz if you're financially stable but not emotionally stable, basi iwaldas lang lang ang kuarta then the family would suffer. at least if you're both emotionally stable, then both of can work together to have a successful marriage. ambot uy, libog baya jud labi na sa panahon karon nga puerte mahala na. lisod kaayo buhi ug bata miski kamo pa 2 mag work.