Pseudo-relationships

[destinee]

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The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage.

Others call it MU or mutual understanding.
Pseudo-relationships.
Pseudo-boyfriends.
Flings.
Almost like a relationship, but not quite.
It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends,
but not quite lovers.
Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala.
One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding
hindi.
You just let your gestures do the talking for you.
Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari.
Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.
Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different
stages for different reasons.
It can happen after a break-up.
You still love each other, and you want
to be with each other but you broke up for a
reason.
And for reasons that you alone know,
ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong
pareho kayong nakikiramdam.
Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-
kunwarian lang muna.
Testing lang.
Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo –
usually the guy –may ka-relasyon na.
Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl
(sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di
naman niya ginagawa),
wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa
kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun.
Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang namanng "kalaro."
Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na
may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang
kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong
setup ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may
patutunguhan?

Iba’t ibang dahilan.
Puwedeng for fun lang.
Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom."
Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship,
they would think that pseudo-relationship is better
than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you
are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may
mga pseudo-relationships din ako.
No commitments involved.
For the simplest reason that they couldn’t commit, because they were
either committed to someone else, or that they weren’t ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling.
Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko.
Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing.
Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message.
Iyong merong laging kasama.
Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a
pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And
usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang
lugi.

Una, you can’t ask him to commit.
Since it’s not really a relationship,
you can’t demand commitment from your partner.
Ano ba kayo?
May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi?
You will always be uncertain about your role in his life.
You can’t expect him to be always there with you.
And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have
to keep it to yourself.
Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa,what if you fall deeply in love with him?
You can’t be sure if he feels the same way. Baka
nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even
if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can’t.
Because you’re not sure if he’ll like it. Baka
mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make
you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if
there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much?
What if you have invested all your emotions and
this man hasn’t?
What if you remain faithful to him,
not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he
is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is
fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when
one of you gets cold, wala na.


**sa maigo lang..;p

[maitoots]

faets ni oi.. d ko nahan ani kay in the end kami gurls ang pildi

[voyager]

nice one....

To TS: you made the the wordings (?) above jud?

[ierolennail]

this thread is really for my friend..hahah

[jahbert]

friends with benefits... bulls eye ko..heheheh

[luke0917]

ahak oi! naigo ko ani gamay dah, hehe...

[jheffz]

kasuway nako ani way nada....


bR

[kchisiru]

hmm, a friend of mine told me this statement before in connection on that pseudo relationship thingy, "We were like couples but the guy refuse to commit". Pseudo indeed

[xxSTARLIGHT]

this thread is really for my friend..hahah

as weLL as for my friends aLso... aLmost aLL of them

[wanderingsoul]

I am aware that in our generation, we are more open to these kind of relationships -- something spontaneous yet fleeting, something thrilling yet heartbreaking in the end. But personally, I would still go for something REAL and not just for the heck of having someone in my life for the "meantime". When you go into a relationship, it shouldn't be bounded in terms or limits. It has to be freely given and shared. It has to be based on pure emotions and not just for rash judgments.