ONE - When I recently went to McDonald's I saw that you could order
6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve."
"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
TWO - I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items
and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked
up one of those "dividers" they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned
all of my items, she picked up the "divider," looking all over for the bar code
so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she asked me,
"Do you know how much this is?" I said to her
"I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said, "OK."
I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE - A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR - I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into
my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?"
I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car
keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
"Why don't you drive over there & check about the batteries. It's a long walk"
FIVE - Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day as she was typing, she turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern
took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and
proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX - I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the
manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN - My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT - Police in Radnor , Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the
copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
NINE - A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs
to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.
the dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine.
The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.....?
Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!
Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid!
meaning?...... >_< no offense ladies , we wouldnt exist without you anyway. =)
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