IT HAD BEEN GREAT BUT…GOODBYE.
He’s told you bye, bye. Now what? Good enough if he was a selfish domineering, thoughtless pig, disguised as a man. You would be relieved rather than be heart broken severely. But then, why would you be involved with someone like that in the first place? Why would you fall prey in the clutches of someone incapable of love? He would not have the opportunity to be rid of you. You’ll tell him bye, bye instead.
But he was amazing. He inspired you to see the world in a different perspective. He was someone who listened. And someone you can talk to about just anything. He can curb your temperament and can share equally your loves and hates. He was the most wonderful man you even had the fortuity to be involved with. And he loved you profoundly. So why leave? Why pronounce his love then leave you alone?
So what do you do after he leaves and never looks back? How do you ease the heartaches after he tells you goodbye?
Waste your tears away. Cry, as though you have never cried before. Besides, it being a cleansing process for your eyes, crying lessens the burden welling up inside you. Oftentimes, crying can be rewarding. It relieves your distress and keeps your heart from constricting until it would burst and make a mess all over the floor. You don’t want to permanently stain your expensive top now, do you? When the hiccups follow, drink a glass of water to ease your breathing. Then you can cry again. Cry all you want until you think it impossible to cry some more. You will probably go on whining like a hungry pup for as long as who knows when. But in time you will cry for the last time and leave everything behind you.
Have as many shoulders to cry on. There is nothing more uplifting than having a lot of friends who will console you endlessly. Friends that will tell you how ugly he was; how despicable his manners were; or even how he resembles a duck when he walks just to make you feel better. They are your friends, the only ones you can turn to when things turn gray. Keep in mind that they can be good listeners. But don’t overdo the wailing. It could become annoying. Friends will think of ways to alleviate your pain. Don’t even decline. Grab every chance to escape your depression. And don’t give your friends the impression you prefer to stay enshrouded in sorrow and unhappiness. They just might leave you all alone.
Blame it to someone. Sometimes it makes you feel a lot better if you could put all the blame on someone. Well, incriminate him all you want. Bring the house down with a litany of his flaws and shortcomings. Blame him for the rain, the extra five pounds you gained since he left. Even the traffic, but don’t exonerate yourself entirely from what had transpired between the two of you. It could be his fault, it could be yours, and it could be no one else’s. It could be that Cupid’s arrow has been broken and lost its hold on love. What is important is you recognize your faults so you minimize repeating the same mistakes. And when you know where you’ve gone wrong, you will be able to reconcile with yourself and understand his decision to leave you.
Surviving the storm. You watched him walk out that door, and your world just turned upside down. But like a storm, there is a guaranteed calm that will follow. They’re maybe numerous damages to repair. There will be an opportunity to pick up the pieces and start anew. Life doesn’t end. Sure. More storms will come your way. Some may even be worse than the last one? But always, there is always tranquility after every storm.
Let go completely. So you say he was the greatest among the great. You may be correct. There may be six billion people in the world but none of them would be just like him because there is only one him. Other men may have similar characteristics but not entirely. So don’t pine for that one person who doesn’t exist unless of course he comes back. But that’s a possibility you don’t want to get stuck with for the rest of your life. Don’t believe events could be any different if you only did this or that. You will only end up belittling yourself. Don’t spend the rest of your day or your life reminiscing and thinking about him. You will only tear yourself apart. Let him go. Bury the past. But treasure the memories. Feel lucky that for once, you have been given a chance to experience the best ride of your life with that one extraordinary person.
Keep the doors open. After the loving comes more loving. Love leaves and love will creep its way back into your heart. Somebody else would grace your heart. And he could be even more amazing. It would be best not to compare though. Don’t deity your ex. Accept whatever love has given you without rancor and fear. Fear is what will hold you back from opening your heart again. Hate is what will deprive you of the chance of happiness at love.
Perhaps, it will take more time to be able to comprehend why things happen as they do. Doesn’t love promise eternity? Wrong. Love does not promise eternity. It is itself eternal, yet changing. As it flits its way from one person to another. And perhaps, it takes more than one experience to fully grasp the meaning of each occurrence. But for now let him go.
The lessons your relationship with him had taught you are worth every tear. Hurting is what makes all the loving indispensable as much as despair is what makes happiness valuable to life.