pawala sa duka napud.. joke time!

[hitchhike]

---

Kani.. Read Out Loud unta para mas alegre.. hahahaha!

Isang araw, Tinawag ni Inay si Boy, ang batang ngo-ngo.

Inay: Boy, magpunta ka sa tindahan ni Aling Petra at bumili ka ng isang latang Pork & Beans!

Boy: Omo, inay !

Nagtungo si Boy Ngo Ngo sa tindahan ni Aling Petra . Tatlong bundok ang kaniyang nilakad. Pagdating ni Boy sa tindahan ay binati niya ang tindera.

Boy: Aning Metra, ngamuta na mo ngayo? (Kamusta na po kayo?)

Aling Petra: Mabuti naman. Ano ang kailangan mo Boy?"

Boy: Mangmilan nga mo ng inang lata ng Mo e Meen! (Pagbilhan nga po ng isang lata ng Pork n Beans)

Aling Petra: Ano kamo, Boy?

Boy: Isa mong Mo e Meen (Isa pong Pork n Beans)

Aling Petra: Paki-ulit nga Boy at hindi kita maintindihan.

Boy: Mo e Meen! Mo e Meen - nyung nata lata! (Pork n Beans! Pork n Beans! Yung nasa lata!)

Aling Petra: Hindi talaga kita maintindihan. Mabuti pa kaya ay i-spell mo na lang sa akin.

Boy: O ninge. Mo e Meen. Netter Mi. (O sige. Pork n Beans. Letter P)

Aling Petra: Letter 'B' ba?

Boy: Ine! Netter Mi as in Minimines. (Hindi! Letter "P" as in Philippines )

Aling Petra: Ha

Boy: Mi! (Kinanta ni Boy ang alphabet) Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee..En, Em, En, O, Mi! - - Mi!

Aling Petra: Ahhh, P! Letter P! (Masiglang sagot ni Aling Petra .)

Boy: Oo. Mi! Mo e Meen! (Oo! P! Pork n Beans!)

Aling Petra: Sige ituloy mo Boy. 'P'...

Boy: Ngo! (O!)

Aling Petra: Ano kamo?

Boy: (Kumanta ulit) Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee... En, Em, En, Ngo

Aling Petra: Ahhh, titik O! P-O. Sige ituloy mo pa!

Boy: Netter Arrng (Letter R)

Aling Petra: Kantahin mo na lang ulit Boy.

Boy: Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee... En, Em, En, O, Mi, Ngyu, Arrng!

Aling Petra: Ahhh! Letter R. Malapit na. 'P-O-R'? Hindi ko pa rin makuha, Boy. Anong letter ang susunod?

Boy: Ngey.

Aling Petra: Letter A?

Boy: Ini ho! (Sabay buntung-hininga si Boy) Ngey! A, Ma, Nga (A-Ba-Ka-Da ang kinanta)! Nga!"

Aling Petra: Ka! Letter 'K' 'P-O-R-K' Ahhh Pork!!!

Boy: Oo!!! Mo e Meen!

Aling Petra: Pork and?

Boy: Oo!! Mo e Meen!!!

Aling Petra: Pork and Meen? Ahhhh!!! Alam ko na!!! Pork and Beans!!!

Boy: Oo! Oo!! Mo e Meen!! Mo e Meen!!!!" ang masayang sigaw ni Boy.

Aling Petra: Pork and Beans pala ang kailangan mo!!!

Boy: Oo. Mo e Meen!

Aling Petra: Hay nako!!!... Wala!!!

[Renzoids]

Kani.. Read Out Loud unta para mas alegre.. hahahaha!

Isang araw, Tinawag ni Inay si Boy, ang batang ngo-ngo.

Inay: Boy, magpunta ka sa tindahan ni Aling Petra at bumili ka ng isang latang Pork & Beans!

Boy: Omo, inay !

Nagtungo si Boy Ngo Ngo sa tindahan ni Aling Petra . Tatlong bundok ang kaniyang nilakad. Pagdating ni Boy sa tindahan ay binati niya ang tindera.

Boy: Aning Metra, ngamuta na mo ngayo? (Kamusta na po kayo?)

Aling Petra: Mabuti naman. Ano ang kailangan mo Boy?"

Boy: Mangmilan nga mo ng inang lata ng Mo e Meen! (Pagbilhan nga po ng isang lata ng Pork n Beans)

Aling Petra: Ano kamo, Boy?

Boy: Isa mong Mo e Meen (Isa pong Pork n Beans)

Aling Petra: Paki-ulit nga Boy at hindi kita maintindihan.

Boy: Mo e Meen! Mo e Meen - nyung nata lata! (Pork n Beans! Pork n Beans! Yung nasa lata!)

Aling Petra: Hindi talaga kita maintindihan. Mabuti pa kaya ay i-spell mo na lang sa akin.

Boy: O ninge. Mo e Meen. Netter Mi. (O sige. Pork n Beans. Letter P)

Aling Petra: Letter 'B' ba?

Boy: Ine! Netter Mi as in Minimines. (Hindi! Letter "P" as in Philippines )

Aling Petra: Ha

Boy: Mi! (Kinanta ni Boy ang alphabet) Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee..En, Em, En, O, Mi! - - Mi!

Aling Petra: Ahhh, P! Letter P! (Masiglang sagot ni Aling Petra .)

Boy: Oo. Mi! Mo e Meen! (Oo! P! Pork n Beans!)

Aling Petra: Sige ituloy mo Boy. 'P'...

Boy: Ngo! (O!)

Aling Petra: Ano kamo?

Boy: (Kumanta ulit) Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee... En, Em, En, Ngo

Aling Petra: Ahhh, titik O! P-O. Sige ituloy mo pa!

Boy: Netter Arrng (Letter R)

Aling Petra: Kantahin mo na lang ulit Boy.

Boy: Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee... En, Em, En, O, Mi, Ngyu, Arrng!

Aling Petra: Ahhh! Letter R. Malapit na. 'P-O-R'? Hindi ko pa rin makuha, Boy. Anong letter ang susunod?

Boy: Ngey.

Aling Petra: Letter A?

Boy: Ini ho! (Sabay buntung-hininga si Boy) Ngey! A, Ma, Nga (A-Ba-Ka-Da ang kinanta)! Nga!"

Aling Petra: Ka! Letter 'K' 'P-O-R-K' Ahhh Pork!!!

Boy: Oo!!! Mo e Meen!

Aling Petra: Pork and?

Boy: Oo!! Mo e Meen!!!

Aling Petra: Pork and Meen? Ahhhh!!! Alam ko na!!! Pork and Beans!!!

Boy: Oo! Oo!! Mo e Meen!! Mo e Meen!!!!" ang masayang sigaw ni Boy.

Aling Petra: Pork and Beans pala ang kailangan mo!!!

Boy: Oo. Mo e Meen!

Aling Petra: Hay nako!!!... Wala!!!

Haha.. lingawa nq ani.

[cishmie_angel]

joke time: ANG NAKARAAN....

May ibinulong ang daga sa elepante. Biglang hinimatay ang elepante.
Ano ang ibinulong ng daga?
DAGA: Buntis ako, ikaw ang ama!

SA PAGPAPATULOY. ...

Dahil di makapaniwala ang elepante, dinala nya ang daga sa doctor.
Tuwang-tuwa ang elepante at masayang ibinulong sa daga ang resulta ng ultrasound. Biglang hinimatay ang daga.

Ano ang ibinulong ng elepante?

ELEPANTE: Ako nga ang ama, at elepante ang anak natin, at kambal sila! :=)

[Renzoids]

joke time: ANG NAKARAAN....

May ibinulong ang daga sa elepante. Biglang hinimatay ang elepante.
Ano ang ibinulong ng daga?
DAGA: Buntis ako, ikaw ang ama!

SA PAGPAPATULOY. ...

Dahil di makapaniwala ang elepante, dinala nya ang daga sa doctor.
Tuwang-tuwa ang elepante at masayang ibinulong sa daga ang resulta ng ultrasound. Biglang hinimatay ang daga.

Ano ang ibinulong ng elepante?

ELEPANTE: Ako nga ang ama, at elepante ang anak natin, at kambal sila! :=)

haha... tagbaw ang daga! buto ang tiyan.

[tuyos]

BEST OF INDAY JOKES!

"I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was made separated from…"
- Inday… hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick
- - - -
"I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should've made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true romance."
- Inday, nageemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niya.
- - - -
"The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!"
- ganito nakipagbreak si Inday kay Dodong (driver ng kapitbahay)
- - - -
Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. o nga pla inglesira ka… would you please purchase many fishes for our this week's meals?
Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes", although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traveresed the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day's catch? (Pauses) Aaah… by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this houshold's quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "galewng-gowng" . Am I correct?
Amo: Leche!
Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the "ba-ngooz" is it!
- - - -
"La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido diario por favor?
- si Inday tumatawad sa merkado ng isinama siya ng amo sa España
- - - -
*Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa rice (red avriety) and apricot sauce
*Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive olive
*Lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests
- baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday
- - - -
"Bloody hell!!! What the f*ck did just landed on my cutie top? I mean I've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I'll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!"
- reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan sya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia
- - - -
"Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessen the production in the market."
- banat ni Inday kung bakit walang "kangkong" sa nilutong sinigang
- - - -
"Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the "oriza sativa" which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as the taste."
- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing
- - - -
"Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution! "
- si Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate… (Taray talaga ni Inday!)
- - - -
"Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substance results to increase circulation to the site promoting redness."
- sagot ni inday nun tanungin ni sir kung bakit may rashes si Junior
- - - -
Amo: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?!
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: (Di nakareact)
- - - -
Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: (nosebleed)
- - - -
"Dear Mom, Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabily run academe. Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never lot being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.
Your daughter,
Inday"
"Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!
Tatay
- - - -
Mister: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV??!!!
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!
- - - -
Amo: Inday di ba nanood ka ng The Buzz kahapon? Bkit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA7?
Inday: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.
- - - -
"Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had."
- sabi ni Inday sa amo noong humingi siya ng dayoff
- - - -
Misis: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?
Inday: I have computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pre-tax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant, and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets!
Misis: ADIK ka talaga Inday!
- - - -
Did it ever occur to you that the ultraviolet rays of the idiot box can bring harmful radiation to the retinal area? It could lead to blurred vision, worse, permanent blindness?
- pinagalitan ni inday si junior sa sobrang lapit manood ng kokey!
- - - -
Thank you for calling. This is Indigh. How can I provide you world class service today?
- Inday. Nag-call center na. Finally!!
- - - -
Ang batayan ng pagiging mahusay na kasambahay ay hindi masusukat sa kakayahan sa isang mahusay na pakikipagtalastasan gamit ang pananalitang banyaga. Sa halip, ito’y masusuri sa kakayahang gampanan ang pangkalahatang Gawain at pagsisilbi sa taong pinaglilingkuran. Wala sa salita, kundi sa gawa!
- Inday again!
- - - -
AMO: Inday, ano ginawa mo sa microwave natin at sumabog?
INDAY: Success is often the result of taking misstep in the right direction. Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I'll show you somebody who has never achieved much.
AMO: Impostora! Lumayas ka dito!
- - - -
"Don't limit my capacity in the 4 corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences."
- Inday, nagrereklamo dahil ayaw isama sa Enchanted Kingdom.
- - - -
Much as I would want to indulge in the proliferation of such incident and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession. we are not here to thrive on humor but rather, we should engage in objective and top of the line service to our designated employers.
- Inday (tumangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay. Professionalism at its best!)
- - - -
I'm still a human being, attracted to anyone my heart beats on, and I have my limitations in contrlling my feelings. I have to push myself into not loving him. This is so wrong...
Si Inday na-inlove sa amo. Ibang level na talaga...
- - - -
The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
-nag-eexplain si inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.
- - - -

Sa mga curious, eto ang personal info ni Inday:
Name: Inocencia Binayubay
Nickname: Inday (of course)
Age: 18
Parents: Mang Andoy at Aling Seling
Siblings: Iying – 13, Itoy – 8, Iking: 5
Educ:
College – La Salle Zobel 2nd year (Scholar)
High School: P. Gomez High School (Valedictorian, Best in English)
Elem: Sta. Monica Elem School (Valedictorian, best in dancing)
Kaya pala...it shows!
Work Experience: Household service manager (katulong) – Mr. and Mrs. Matapobre
Died: Sept. 1, 2007 Cause of death: Asphyxia due to strangulation (namatay sa sakal ng amo!)

[yhelz_18]

hahaha! alegreha oi! nawla akong duka! hehehe

[jobbee]

hahahaahahahahaahaha

[musikaye23]

hahahahaha! makawagtang man tawn nis kamug-ot ug problema oyy!

[euijin]

lingaw tanan

[kristan10]

haha.Joke2x!