My everyday agony as a foreigner's wife

[lady_blackrose]

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are u putting up with him coz of ur kid? u should ask by now if u love him?coz if u do...thats the hardest part there coz u cant easily let go of him...but if u dont...then i know its not easy to leave but if there's no feelings and ur hurting...it would be better if ull just leave him.end of ur agony...end of ur problems. my husband doesnt like philippines too...he has been there a couple times and he have noticed same situation as ur husband, he liked it at first but after what happened to my dad...his scared now to go back there but he used to like philippines alot coz of our culture and how good pinoys when it comes to raising kids. the beaches and the people but he said he cant live there for long when it comes to security reasons.

[up2u]

I am a foreigner living in Phils, that’s what many foreigners call your country, firstly I have to agree with many of the points he makes, many are accurate, and some are exaggerated. But as a foreigner I do find myself very frustrated at the attitude of many long term visitors to this country, the concept that everything is better in America/ Australia/ Europe is just plain stupid and a product of a lack of ability to adjust to a different environment.

Many men who move here are very much not representative of white/ western Men, quite honestly in my experience they are men who do not fit in western society, they also very often are not well travelled, and Phil’s is their first real venture in living outside their own country.

It is defiantly true that many come here especially for the girls, and many are on their third/ forth marriage, anyone who can not make 3 marriages work is not going to make it work with someone twenty years younger from a different culture.

My main frustration with other foreigners is their complete lack of manners towards the people of the country they have chosen to live in. The Philippines is far from perfect but as I always say to other foreign men here, if you dislike it so much go home.

I wish that people here could appreciate that most men who come here looking for girls and to start another family at 60 years of age do not represent the normal white/western guy, unfortunately as in the average locals experience it must seem like we are all here to sleep with as many young girls as possible, spend all day drinking and insulting the local population, we are not all like that.

[seven_segment]

True! with all those govt issues!!!

reflecting all of us...kit guy nibotar ana nila...

This white guy (husband of threadstarter) is just too harsh in his words...

its not criticisms anymore...but rather racism...

[che(k_afss]

maau unta na explainan nmu imu husband about filipino culture nd how it looks like living here in the Phils.

[che(k_afss]

we are a 3rd world country he should have it in his mind. i agree as well nga 85% sa iyang gisulti is sakto (corruption, etc...) pro dli sakto iyang ing anaon ang mga pinoys.. feeling man gud ning mga foreigner nga dato na kunohay cla murag mao ba.. my advise think it a million times if you'll gonna go with him in the US..naghikahos ra ba ang mga amerkano rn

[joshbonz]

hello everyone,

it's been a year i got married to a white guy,so far my life has changed,financially, and emotionally as a mother. I have a 6-month-old kid. we will be flying to my husband's place next month.

my agonies are:
as a foreigner,
1.my husband think our best tourism is the girls,and that's why he came here,then he met me
2.he doesn't want our kid to live here because streets are the playground of the children,basing to what he saw
3.our politicians are corrupt,he kept asking me where our 12% vat go
4. He laughs at small shanty houses in major roads,coz for him is terrible to see,
5. he never rides PAL,or sea ships of the philippines
6.that filipino vehicle drivers are boang,no clues and never give way to ambulance
7. hospitals are too far to be alive
8.that ambulance brings you dead on arrival
9. that majority of us lives in 2 dollars a day
10. that everybody wants to leave the country
11. that government agencies is money greedy,he can prove it,
12. that majority just eat rice and fish
13.that we fight with each other
14.that we do not produce anything,if we do,no quality
15.that we suppose to have a very beautiful place but the government is busy in corruption
16. homes here dont have grasses
17. and he wonders what country's future be
and more....all these are present in his mind,i cant change it,he shakes his head to my country
i cant take it anymore,its killing me,its hurting me,i have been defending my country eversince,i always give counter reasons to my husband,but it just makes him see me as no clue too!
now,im tired defending,in the end i realize my husband is true.im leaving philippines now,if i come back,that's becoz of my family.

so what's wrong with all of these??

Geesh!! why did you marry this brute in the first place girl?? this kind of man doesn't belong here in our country and should rightly be deported back to wherever asshole he came..

The mere fact that he came originally here for a girl to marry (1), puts a shadow on what his real intentions are.. That we're bunch of prostitutes peddling our women to some fart ass pig who can allow to insult our dignity and our country.

Your husband should be on top of DFA's list of person's brag as PERSONA NON GRATA and like i've said on top my thread, should be KICK HIS BUTT OUT OF OUR LAND!... <<rant mode>>

[scope_hunting]

hello everyone,

it's been a year i got married to a white guy,so far my life has changed,financially, and emotionally as a mother. I have a 6-month-old kid. we will be flying to my husband's place next month.

my agonies are:
as a foreigner,
1.my husband think our best tourism is the girls,and that's why he came here,then he met me.

- Maybe he havn't explored yet other areas and that maybe he thinks like that because thats what he's up to.

2.he doesn't want our kid to live here because streets are the playground of the children,basing to what he saw.

sad but true.. we lack public parks here, if we have one its sometimes full of bad eliments lurking and waiting for its prey.

3.our politicians are corrupt,he kept asking me where our 12% vat go.

its not a surprise if he asked that.. where did it go really.?
in other persons bank account maybe..
4. He laughs at small shanty houses in major roads,coz for him is terrible to see,

well thats not a good thing to do. too bad.

5. he never rides PAL,or sea ships of the philippines

well if we really want our customers to be satisfied we will give the best of our service.

6.that filipino vehicle drivers are boang,no clues and never give way to ambulance.

very true indeed.. "THEY DONT CARE" they sometimes tailgates the ambulance.

7. hospitals are too far to be alive.

not just too far.. sometimes lacks medical equipment.

8.that ambulance brings you dead on arrival.

no comment on this one.. maybe depends on what ambulance.

9. that majority of us lives in 2 dollars a day

another sad but true.. in reality maybe its lesser than 2 dollars a day. promises and promises from our leaders as always.. especially if its election time.. WHEN WILL WE LEARN

10. that everybody wants to leave the country.

If only governement people supports his own people that he shows to them as an example of what the word PATRIOTISM means and he will offer himself and not others offer their moneys to him.

11. that government agencies is money greedy,he can prove it,

i can prove it either. this is reality

12. that majority just eat rice and fish

there is nothing wrong with this.. as an archepelago we are abundant with marine life. we should be proud but not abuse our own resources

13.that we fight with each other.

we fight for power, we fight for possessions, sometimes we fight for greed.. and most of all we fight for our country.

14.that we do not produce anything,if we do,no quality

I dont agree on this.. here in mideast we have great engineers building refineries and fuel lines.. we have top caliber programmers and animators working around the world.. may he just watched exagerated news too much.

15.that we suppose to have a very beautiful place but the government is busy in corruption.

again amen to him... we have some restricted forest reserves and some sanctuaries but if there is money you can buy some lots.. it happened almost everywher here in our country

16. homes here dont have grasses

is grass a necessity??

17. and he wonders what country's future be.

Frankly if the trend in our goverment offices will continue.. it will get worst and worst every year.. just for example gas prices... why are those small players can give more discounts than the big 3, and why will the government go after those small players that gives discount and not on this big 3?? money matters?? maybe.

and more....all these are present in his mind,i cant change it,he shakes his head to my country
i cant take it anymore,its killing me,its hurting me,i have been defending my country eversince,i always give counter reasons to my husband,but it just makes him see me as no clue too!
now,im tired defending,in the end i realize my husband is true.im leaving philippines now,if i come back,that's becoz of my family.


my dear sometimes reality hurts.. but you should not be affected.. if you fell down and degraded because of this.. then rise up one step at a time.. show to him that some of his beliefs are wrong.. dont argue with him it will make matters worst.. be a good wife and a mother.. good luck on your journey.. dont forget to teach your kids the good values we filipinos have.. even if we are out of the country working abroad.. we are proud we are filipino's and we excel in every career we are into.

"I am a filipino, and this is my inheretance. what pledgge shall i give that I may prove worthy of my inheretance."

[lady_blackrose]

yeah..thats true. ako btaw sis...first nako ari dri...worried jud au ko as in...i dont know anyone aside from my hubby's family.apply ko work..as in...hadlok jud ko ma reject.plus pajud...millionaire ako boss.as in low self esteem jud ako ko ato na time but still i struggled to do things on my own without relying on my husband. ive made money on my own without his...and everyone here told him how lucky he is to have me.why is that?coz im young and they know i can do better but yet i am with him.i can make money on my own...live by myself coz i do any job as long as their descent. im a hard worker...a good wife...(sabi nila ha?coz no matter how busy and tired i am from work...i still do my job as a wife. do household chores and etc..).

i think the reason why ur husband go easy on u its bec.he is confident enough that u cant do it by urself esp.now that ur pregnant. dont always rely on him...as much as u can..dont ask for money...try to get a job, do things on ur own and see how he is gonna react.im sure he'll be insecure and scared that ur gonna divorce him.lol.ayaw jud padaog-daog sis.di jud na pwede

[joshua_loquias]

all you have to do, is prove to ur partner that u did not marry him for money,,,,,the reality is that they really think that u just marry them for money//nothing more,nothing less...so to get out to this, try to earn money, let him see that u are really working hard. don't always ask money,,and don't think that u already marry a foreigner, ur already free from financial problems .actually not all foreigner are not that rich. they are just pensioners, especially for the oldies..just work hard, and let them feel that u deserve to be their wife.

[mar_cebu08]

He is a pessimistic person. I pity him, he sees things this way. I am not saying that he is not correct or he is wrong. There are facts on what he is saying but it is not all true or to be exact he is sees things that way. He sould have seen the good things behind it. Like his oppurtunity to help the indigents, enjoy the natural resources here in our country which I doubt if he can experience it in US and a lot more.

What I really meant here is that there are two type of person in the world....I will not expound it more...rather I will just base it on an example: "You can either see a glass half-filled with water or half-emptied with water"...You know where he belongs.

You should have known him better before you accepted him as your husband. Anyways, gud luck to you. Pray and if possible let him read this messages so that he will be enlightened.

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