emotional stability and followed by financial stability
emotional stability and followed by financial stability
Something good for married couples.
MARRIAGE
>When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
>said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I
>observed the hurt in her eyes.
>
>Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what
>I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
>
>She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
>why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
>chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk
>to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had
>happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
>answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just
>pitied her!
>
>With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
>she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
>
>She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten
>years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
>wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said
>for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which
>was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of
>release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
>Weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
>
>The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at
>the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep
>very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
>
>When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not
>care so I turned over and was asleep again.
>
>In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
>anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
>requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life
>as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's
>time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
>
>This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
>recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
>
>She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our
>bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just
>to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
>
>I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
>thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face
>the divorce, she said scornfully.
>
>My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
>explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
>appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
>arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
>room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
>closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I
>nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went
>to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
>
>On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
>chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't
>looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not
>young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
>Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had
>done to her.
>
>On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
>returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
>
>
>On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
>growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her
>as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
>
>She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses
>but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
>grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the
>reason why I could carry her more easily.
>
>Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
>heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
>
>Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To
>him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part
>of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him
>tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind
>at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
>through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
>softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding
>day.
>
>But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her
>in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held
>her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
>
>I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
>door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
>upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want
>the divorce anymore.
>
>She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a
>fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't
>divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't
>value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any
>more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding
>day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
>
>Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
>the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
>
>At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
>The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll
>carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
>
>The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
>It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank,
>blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but
>cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's
>friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do
>have a real happy marriage!
>
>
What a beautifully touching story!
the ability to sacrifice your own desires for the needs and wants of others.
its very important that you are emotionally ready for marriage cus if not, disaster jud ang labas. anyway,ang money mu-follow ra man na siya. ang emotional side, lisud kaayo. it could even lead to separation, naa dayon psychological incapacity na issues and all...
emotional stability coz kung wa na cya na rambol jd mo madugay..Nice jd kung ila-ila sa mo as married couple. :mrgreen:
Emotional stability mas importante. It is so tricky to try and define "financial stability". All you really need from your husband-to-be is that, a) he is kugihan (very impt), and b) he has a good job, with a steady paycheck
emotional stability, you may be financially be stable pero dili ready sa marriage, ang padulong buwag ra ghapon, whereas if emotionally stable naka, kibaw naka sa imo g sudlan nga its not a bed of roses ang married life. You have to stick to your partner in Good times and in bad. Ang kwarta makita rana.
both. hand in hand na siya... unsaon mana kwarta if immature mo both?? mura ramo duwa2 balay2 then palaban sa mama if naa problema.. if naa sad ka emotional stability, hmmmn unzaon mana if gutom na si dodong/inday... pakan on lang ug sagbot sa kalsada i mean exag na ako exp but true.
the last thing to add wud be... sexual satisfaction... for example 1 out of 1billion instances, dka kapugung sa paggilok... and there's some1 willing to do the job right w no strings attched... well, what wud u do??
Both are important but to start and even if you are still thinking about getting married, you have to make it sure that you have the means to support your future family.
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