makigbuwag or dili?? advices are highly appreciated....

[sammedriano]

TS, my only comment is = Assure thy self.

Assurance can't be the price of getting wed. It is just some paperwork with no life at all.
What's most important is you know that whatever may happen, you and your daughter/son can live without him.

Yes, I agree with your BF. If time doesn't show getting wed to be practical enough, then I think you have to understand and back off a bit. However, if you feel the urgency to get wed, then find another man who "Hopefully can be brave enough to get wed with you."

[sugarcakes_babe]

maam, kanus a ka ma single again?

what do u mean?? basin single na gani ko as of posting... haha

[sugarcakes_babe]

TS, my only comment is = Assure thy self.

Assurance can't be the price of getting wed. It is just some paperwork with no life at all.
What's most important is you know that whatever may happen, you and your daughter/son can live without him.

Yes, I agree with your BF. If time doesn't show getting wed to be practical enough, then I think you have to understand and back off a bit. However, if you feel the urgency to get wed, then find another man who "Hopefully can be brave enough to get wed with you."

....agree... pero swerte rapud kaau ang mga laki kung ing.ana dba, like matud pang [MENTION=163772]quirkychinita[/MENTION] "responsibility without commitment! that's bullshit! " im still sticking with the idea nga kasal dapat before anything else, i don't agree with live.in2 before wedding.... saon all i could say is im stuck with the wrong guy who's not willing and brave enough nga barugan and pakasalan ko, it's just so tragic, really tragic, the feeling is tragic, dinha nana mo.come in ang pag.sinabtanay, sabot2 and overcoming all obstacles, and cguro pag.ilhanay, we've been five years in the relationship, i guess that's enough, we've seen each other at our best and worst....

[sammedriano]

I get your point. It is indeed hard to be doing all your part without your man's commitment.

Sis, it is all up to you. Whether or not you'd be willing to sacrifice your son/daughter's future for the wedding.

Always remember, there are side effects in almost all medicines. Same goes with your child. A child who will grow up without a father or a mother will experience a very traumatic life. Much worst than you can ever imagine.

I don't have a dad. I know how it feels.

....agree... pero swerte rapud kaau ang mga laki kung ing.ana dba, like matud pang [MENTION=163772]quirkychinita[/MENTION] "responsibility without commitment! that's bullshit! " im still sticking with the idea nga kasal dapat before anything else, i don't agree with live.in2 before wedding.... saon all i could say is im stuck with the wrong guy who's not willing and brave enough nga barugan and pakasalan ko, it's just so tragic, really tragic, the feeling is tragic, dinha nana mo.come in ang pag.sinabtanay, sabot2 and overcoming all obstacles, and cguro pag.ilhanay, we've been five years in the relationship, i guess that's enough, we've seen each other at our best and worst....

[sugarcakes_babe]

I get your point. It is indeed hard to be doing all your part without your man's commitment.

Sis, it is all up to you. Whether or not you'd be willing to sacrifice your son/daughter's future for the wedding.

Always remember, there are side effects in almost all medicines. Same goes with your child. A child who will grow up without a father or a mother will experience a very traumatic life. Much worst than you can ever imagine.

I don't have a dad. I know how it feels.

...hinuon that is what everybody is saying, stick together for the bata no matter what, eh unta ing.ana siya, nya kung maabot ang time nga siya mo cheat, nya pakaslan to niya, kami na hinuon mahimong illegitimate and walay makuha nga bisag centavo nga sustento, tsssss! mao nay g.ingon lagi, maningkamot nalang mig amoa.... so sad lang jud nga of all the girls ako pay g.ing.ani, the fact nga siya akong first bf and all--(u know....) ive been a good gf from the time we were dating til i became the mother of his daughter, i never complained and ask for anything more, til such time nga nakarealize nlng ko, dako na among anak, yet wala pajud ming.level up among relasyon into marriage, and feeling of unworthy, desperate and depression came in... all i wanted is legality and blessing for our family because my daughter and i deserved it.... and i don't think that's too hard and big deal for someone he truly love.... that he himself would not want to me to feel those stuffs, you know i have been voicing it out to him, pero he never addresses the concern seriously but taken it for granted and some lame excuses and promises..... and ive mention pud nga pwede ra walay sing2 and all para dli najud xa mag.aburido and wala nay lusot, na kay ang sukob napud ang g.gamit pang.excuse, sesss!!! hahahay, i have a friend gani nga 500 ra ilang nabayran sa civil wedd and they just bought a cheaper unisilver wed rings, like 300 or 400, pero wa jud, wa epek ni manoy....

[gotnowheels]

dugay2 napud mi galive.in, wa pajud mi makasal, 3yrs old nlng among anak wa pajud, next year napud kuno, hahay, im a girl d i by the way, im planning to break up with him, sakto kaha ni akong buhaton? as in dli jud niya priority ang kasal, kay pang karaan ra daw na, karon dili na kuno uso ang kasal importante, way gabinuang nya love ninyo ang usag.usa, nya unsaon paglove nga dli gani ko secure sa akong status, sa among status... hapit najud ko mugive.up, you know diba we girls are so sensitive and big deal kaayo nang wala paka makasal, esp. naa nay anak, nya gipuyo2 raka.... haaaay..... galibog nako unsa akong buhaton.... and gusto ko naa koy buhaton...


your advices are highly appreciated....

Hi TS.

I'm also a father of my daughter nya live in pud mi sa akong uyab. I can relate to this since I'm the one na mo ingon "kasal, is not an assurance of anything". Akong pud uyab mo ask nako if wen daw mi pakasal nya makigbuwag daw xa if dili ko magpa kasal kaniya. I'm not sure what's the reason behind sa imong uyab og nganong dili xa magpa kasal nimo, but getting married doesn't really take your relationship to the next level. We are together for 7 years na, but I always assured my gf na with or without papers, mao ra gihapon akong pag treat niya. Never had nay affairs with other woman. In short, loyal jud ko sa ako GF. And I always love her in ways she can't even imagine. But, I would like to ask you TS. In your opinion. what's the difference between a married couple compared to BF/GF status? Is it that Love is greater when you're married?

[sugarcakes_babe]

Hi TS.

I'm also a father of my daughter nya live in pud mi sa akong uyab. I can relate to this since I'm the one na mo ingon "kasal, is not an assurance of anything". Akong pud uyab mo ask nako if wen daw mi pakasal nya makigbuwag daw xa if dili ko magpa kasal kaniya. I'm not sure what's the reason behind sa imong uyab og nganong dili xa magpa kasal nimo, but getting married doesn't really take your relationship to the next level. We are together for 7 years na, but I always assured my gf na with or without papers, mao ra gihapon akong pag treat niya. Never had nay affairs with other woman. In short, loyal jud ko sa ako GF. And I always love her in ways she can't even imagine. But, I would like to ask you TS. In your opinion. what's the difference between a married couple compared to BF/GF status? Is it that Love is greater when you're married?

..with all do respect lang sad nimo [MENTION=60097]gotnowheels[/MENTION] pero nganong lisud man para nimo ang pagpakasal nag papers raman kaha na? u can even do things ur gf can't even imagine, kana pa kaha papers rah?? u kno, d jud maiwasan ang "cowardly" factor nganong dili jud niya mahimo pakasalon ko, despite that i have given him all the time, i was faithfully waiting for it then, pero nothing happens, kumustahon nako, balewala ra niya kay dili lagi importante nah, my gudness!

[gotnowheels]

..with all do respect lang sad nimo [MENTION=60097]gotnowheels[/MENTION] pero nganong lisud man para nimo ang pagpakasal nag papers raman kaha na? u can even do things ur gf can't even imagine, kana pa kaha papers rah?? u kno, d jud maiwasan ang "cowardly" factor nganong dili jud niya mahimo pakasalon ko, despite that i have given him all the time, i was faithfully waiting for it then, pero nothing happens, kumustahon nako, balewala ra niya kay dili lagi importante nah, my gudness!

Okay, I get your point. But, for me basically what you're saying is that, you're love doesn't count, if we don't have papers to show that we are married? And here I thought that "Love" is important than anything else, if your bf loves you, then you shouldn't have any problems with it. I mean, tell me what's would be the difference lage between a married couple, and those couple who are not married? Not to disrespect you in anyway, I get your point, but the thing here is that do you understand mine?

ON T: If the reason nga makigbuwag ka kay dili magpakasal imong bf nimo (bisan og pinangga jud ka niya), then I cannot say na sayop imo buhaton or sakto ba. I can only give my own opinion about this since there isn't really right or wrong on this only consequences. Firstly, naa bay mawala nimo if dili ka makigbuwag/makigbuwag ka?

Of course, I'm not sure sa imo situation, and og unsay batasan sa imo BF. But base sa imong pagkatubag, insecure jud siguro ka (IMHO). Please don't take it the wrong way if mo ingon ko na insecure ka.

[sugarcakes_babe]

..with all do respect lang sad nimo @gotnowheels pero nganong lisud man para nimo ang pagpakasal nag papers raman kaha na? u can even do things ur gf can't even imagine, kana pa kaha papers rah?? u kno, d jud maiwasan ang "cowardly" factor nganong dili jud niya mahimo pakasalon ko, despite that i have given him all the time, i was faithfully waiting for it then, pero nothing happens, kumustahon nako, balewala ra niya kay dili lagi importante nah, my gudness!

it may not be an assurance that our love grow stronger after that kasal thing but at least there is already secured feeling in me and no more feelings of depressions within me, then i could perhaps have peace of mind already, there will be no irritabilities and mood swings in me, so then we could live life happily, contentedly like what he's always talking about...? simple! pero dili, he's making it hard for me to have peace of mind and contentment.... u know if the guy really loves u so much, he will make sure you are happy with him ug sa inyong pag.puyo... pero wa man, remained taken for granted... well infairness he loves me so dearly, he always expresses stuffs like , he will never be unfaithful, he is way contented sa akoa and never mapul.an and will never love another woman, that he wants her daughter to be proud of him for being faithful sa nako.. things like that, pero it is just not enough, bottomline, wa koy security--wa mi security sa akong anak, like i said, what if mapating ug kalit iyang utok! what if na.yawaan kay impluwensiyahan sa barkada, u know u need to be open-minded, daghan nang ing.ana nga nahitabo, kinsa luoy? kami, wa nalang kwenta atong dignidad ana... and worst if pakasalan pajud niya ang then new gf niya?? how nice! hmf!

[gotnowheels]

it may not be an assurance that our love grow stronger after that kasal thing but at least there is already secured feeling in me and no more feelings of depressions within me, then i could perhaps have peace of mind already, there will be no irritabilities and mood swings in me, so then we could live life happily, contentedly like what he's always talking about...? simple! pero dili, he's making it hard for me to have peace of mind and contentment.... u know if the guy really loves u so much, he will make sure you are happy with him ug sa inyong pag.puyo... pero wa man, remained taken for granted... well infairness he loves me so dearly, he always expresses stuffs like , he will never be unfaithful, he is way contented sa akoa and never mapul.an and will never love another woman, that he wants her daughter to be proud of him for being faithful sa nako.. things like that, pero it is just not enough, bottomline, wa koy security--wa mi security sa akong anak, like i said, what if mapating ug kalit iyang utok! what if na.yawaan kay impluwensiyahan sa barkada, u know u need to be open-minded, daghan nang ing.ana nga nahitabo, kinsa luoy? kami, wa nalang kwenta atong dignidad ana... and worst if pakasalan pajud niya ang then new gf niya?? how nice! hmf!

So basically with this being said, you're choosing between love and security. Well, I understand if you go with security, I who can blame you. But if your husband really loves you, the way that you have described and if that's really the case, I will stick to him if I were in your shoes.

And tell me TS, by saying "Security" is this financial, or support for the kids? I mean what kind of "Security" are you refering to? If this is the case, then you're like saying nga dili trustworthy imo husband. The reason why I asked this para pud maka sabot ko sa ako GF karon which goes through the same dilemna. Oh by the way, getting married is not really a big thing for me but it's not top 1 in my priority list.

Why is it na always luoy ang babay? Why is it that you invite these negative thoughts na "What if" plus "negative statement"? So magpakasal ka para pa kiha nimo imo bana if something goes wrong? If that's the reason why you're getting married TS, I think you don't really love your husband, you just want to make sure nga dili ka nya biyaan mag inosara magbuhi sa imong anak. You're thinking about yourself. And you can't say that you're husband is thinking for himself, when iya man kaha kang gi supportahan, ni kayod man kaha imong uyab?