Being a Parent to your Parents

[doce_pares]

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^^^yea bro, it's ur choice but i hope u r open 4 possibilities

[syrenn]

pra nko lang ha' My parents molded me to be a better person and a good daughter. I might disappoint them if ever when they grow old I will send them to “home for …” They thought me to be responsible and along with it to be there or them when they need me the most. And aside from that I wanted to be by their side till there last breath.

[rey04]

nope bro, i will reverse the question to you if you're open to possibilities coz am trying to change filipino culture of extended families coz this topic is applicable to extended families man, di ba? if my kids send me to the said place in the future then ok ra pud nako basta visit lang sila from time to time. i respect their privacy of having their own life in their own time.

^^^yea bro, it's ur choice but i hope u r open 4 possibilities

[doce_pares]

^^^well, living u dont actually hav 2 live in 1 haus wen u r able enuf 2 tend 4 urself bt wen d case comes wen u do need sum supervision i gues it wont hurt f u stay w ur family, d issue of privacy aint so big unless we do hav closed minds. if both parties though jst come into terms in how things shud go about, im pretty sure all is well off w/o d home-for-the-aged as an option

[rey04]

if both parties though jst come into terms in how things shud go about, im pretty sure all is well off w/o d home-for-the-aged as an option

there it goes, that quote just fit for my answer and probably not your answer too. it may healthy for a couple like yours to pick up the reponsibility but for others it aint. why? because it takes two people to decide whcih to be done and which is not and being a close minded is someone who doesn't consider the opinion of your present wife/husband if he/she is amenable to what is your future plans that will surely affect your everday life because they will surely come over to live with you. Not all time they are healthy enough for their own to serve themselves.

[doce_pares]

^^^apparently bro, stashing ur parents into those homes for the aged aint a pretty term dat both parties reached, i guessd u left ur parents no choice in doing so and u on the other hand reduced responsibility to nothing more dan just paying for the services of other ppol hu wil take care of dem

[usrolla]

sometimes its easy to say things that its ok...since wer not yet in that position yet (being left in the home for the aged)...but WHAT IF ur in that position now and u feel neglected by your own family..what would you do? for me i think its how you compromise or how you manage things with your parents and your present family....if you saw some episodes of documentaries that involve home for the aged (when old folks being interviewed, you will see the pain in their voices..how they feel about their famileis who sent them over when suppose to be they still have a living relative that they could stay with and who could take care of them instead of other people who is not related to them) its very hurting and sad to hear their stories! thats why for me i cant afford to send my parents to those places

[rey04]

Europe, America, japan and other progressive countries should have been in ruins by now if that's what they think of themselves. I am not into these countries bu i am just open for the possibility for now. but as i said, as of this time of my life my decision is the same considering that no one other than myself is obligated to have them. if ever resources is good such as other relatives who are heartily willing to take care of them, or i personnaly can handle the job (mentally, financially, emotionally and of course with the approval of my wife and children) then i would take care of them.

we cannot predict the future plans of our daughters and sons but of course the tradition and culture changes as our country progresses. though it may be painful for me if they sent me there but i would respect their decision and i wont meddle their life just to accomodate mine. i would more happier if i will see them happy if that's what makes them happy.

The place is called "Home for The Aged" and not "Home for the Neglected". People their were paid and trained specifically to handle the job just like some of our bro's and sis's here who studied caregiving and nursing because of the sensitiivity of their work. Families are allowed to visit their foes everyday if they want. If they don't visit their foes as often as needed then I would call it a NEGLECT.

sometimes its easy to say things that its ok...since wer not yet in that position yet (being left in the home for the aged)...but WHAT IF ur in that position now and u feel neglected by your own family..what would you do? for me i think its how you compromise or how you manage things with your parents and your present family....if you saw some episodes of documentaries that involve home for the aged (when old folks being interviewed, you will see the pain in their voices..how they feel about their famileis who sent them over when suppose to be they still have a living relative that they could stay with and who could take care of them instead of other people who is not related to them) its very hurting and sad to hear their stories! thats why for me i cant afford to send my parents to those places

[doce_pares]

^^^bro, dey may not be n ruins bt try 2 stdy der culture carefully. japan has a high suicide rate, in the US crime rates r soaring, etc etc. come 2 think of it, dey hav reduced der ppol in2 money-making machines, do u want dat 2 happen 2 us, dat ol we care 4 is work? dont u think lyf cud b so pathetic dat u jst work w/o even considering sum tym w ur family, i jst cant imagine it

we cant predict d future bro bt at least we can do sumthin bout it. if we start now 2 take gud care of our children well den i know dey will respond 2 us d same way. if we mold dem early on 2 balance lyf, n teach dem d values in lyf, im pretty sure dey will take gud care of u wen ur old.

true dat der r caregivers bro bt it's nt der xpertise dat our old folks want, dey long 4 our luv! dat even n der last moments out here dey can c n feel d luv of der children, dat we r der 2 hold on unto dem jst lyk d way dey took gud care of us wen we were helpless, wen we were sick, now it's our turn, r we turning our backs from d ppol dat wer der 4 us all those years!

[nolex]

i'd rather take care of my parents myself.......period..

if i don't have the money to support them, then i'll give up getting married...

but, either way, i still want to give them the care they have given me from the time i was born inthis world as a sort of thanksgiving...and that's it.....