
Originally Posted by
shimiyu
Utterly Profound Disproofs of God's Existence [Part 1]
if you get the satire, you can read the full article at J.P. Holdings' Apologetics web site
http://www.tektonics.org/guest/300proof.html
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ARGUMENT FROM SCIENCE
1. Science is always true.
2. Therefore there is no room for religious faith.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM LOGIC
1. There are some things in logic that you can't logically demonstrate.
2. Therefore you have to take them on faith.
3. But faith in logic is not the same as faith in God.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM DESIGN
1. If there is a designer, then God must exist.
2. If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer.
3. (Atheist ignores watch in forest)
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM AGNOSTICISM
1. I don't know and you don't know either.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS
1. Christians are blind to reason, intelligence and logic.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM FALLIBILITY
1. Human reasoning is inherently flawed.
2. Therefore, there is no reasonable way to challenge a proposition.
3. I propose that God doesn’t exist.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCE
1. I once experienced something I can't explain.
2. I can come up with several possible, natural explanations which do not fit the facts, but make me feel comfortable.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
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ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF PROOF
1. You can't prove God exists!
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF BELIEF
1. If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
2. I don’t believe in God.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF PHYSICAL EVIDENCE
1. I believe that if God exists, there will be physical evidence for his existence.
2. There is no physical evidence for the existence of God.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF REVELATION
1. God should be able to tell me He exists.
2. I don’t hear God telling me anything.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER
1. When I used to pray, I never got what I wanted (like a million dollars, a Playstation 2 with all the games, and a girlfriend).
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF MIRACLES
1. My aunt had cancer.
2. The doctors gave her all these horrible treatments.
3. My aunt prayed to God, but she died from her cancer anyway.
4. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM COMPLETE DEVASTATION
1. A plane crashed killing all 143 passengers and crew.
2. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM HELL
1. If I don't believe God exists, I'll go to Hell.
2. I can’t comprehend that a loving God would send people to Hell.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF FEAR
1. If God exists then I’m going to Hell.
2. I’m not afraid of Hell. New Jersey is much worse.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
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ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE OF HISTORY
1. The Bible is completely false.
2. Therefore, the Bible is toilet paper.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
1. (Arbitrary passage from OT)
2. (Arbitrary passage from NT)
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (II)
1. The Bible says the Bible is true.
2. This is a circular argument.
3. Therefore the Bible is false.
4. The Bible says God exists.
5. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
THE BIBLICAL ALTERATION ARGUMENT
1. The Bible has been deliberately changed since it was written.
2. Therefore everything in it must be false.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.
ARGUMENT FROM "JESUS SAID" STUFF
1. Jesus said some stuff.
2. I think that a lot of the stuff he said was horrible and unloving.
3. Therefore, God doesn’t exist.