Having A Relationship With A Playboy/Chickboy/Player Is Not Easy

[Detusai]

---

Frankly I wouldn't want to be in this type of relationship, but I do wish you the best.

I also hope TS that this won't bite you in the back, sometimes love can blind us that we do things we normally wouldn't. I hope that in the end, your patience and endurance wins out, but even if it doesn't, I know you will be able to face life ahead and take this as a lesson learned. I think you deserve more and I do hope he loves you just as much as you love him.

In any case good luck and be happy, but remember that happiness also means giving love to yourself as well.

[aljy]

TS wish you luck and I hope that you will not get hurt in the future

[lejean]

@lejean: if i were to go turn back time, i would prefer this type of relationship as you do, I am an open minded person yet bound to meet a close minded one.. trying to escape from the prison cell that I have once entered without any hesitation.. if you both will be bound together for a life time, i think there is so much to enjoy with each others company since you know your limits and there is no secrets at all.. everything will be easier to handle. I think if both parties are open minded, wala jud moy lalisan pag ayu coz both is rational enough. and before mo confront sa usag usa, nakahuna huna naka daan.. it will boil down to nothing to argue..since both already understands the point, clarification nalang siguro.

You are so right sis. Both of us are open-minded, if naay things we think na mura can cause friction sa amoa relationship storyahan man namo. We never came to a point na we shouted from the top of our lungs just to have our point cross to the other person. We talk calmly lang and try to say what we think and feel about the situation, the consequence of our action and what we need to do in order to avoid it. From the very start, we had an agreement to talk things over and not to argue or quarrel. If one person is like on its boiling point, the other one will shut up and wait till everything calms down until such time na we are on the same level mentally.

Emotions sometimes clouds our logic. But the two of us are logical person, so we think and see things through. Happy man ko kay nakasugat sad ko og lalake same nako og thinking, who is more knowledgeable than me, and more experienced than me in terms of life experiences. Mao sad na gi-ingon sis na dagko na baya mi ng-abot, naa nay mga buot we know our limits and boundaries to ourselves, and learned from our past relationships.

[lejean]

Frankly I wouldn't want to be in this type of relationship, but I do wish you the best.

I also hope TS that this won't bite you in the back, sometimes love can blind us that we do things we normally wouldn't. I hope that in the end, your patience and endurance wins out, but even if it doesn't, I know you will be able to face life ahead and take this as a lesson learned. I think you deserve more and I do hope he loves you just as much as you love him.

In any case good luck and be happy, but remember that happiness also means giving love to yourself as well.

Detusai: I had my own dose of loving him more,losing myself in the process, but good thing I met someone (my client on my online work) who is a chickboy as well and helped me through with it. He gave me the “secret” of how a mind of a playboy works, etc. It is my way of understanding why my bf is like that and why I became so attached to him.

He said to me, "If you feel it's wrong, you are suffering, and you are not happy anymore, then it's not love, it's not worth staying". He even told me to leave ASAP before things get worst, but as time goes by as I narrated everything to him, he sees that I do love him so much. Instead, he told me things on how to have a relationship with my bf without getting hurt in the process. He told me not to be emotionally dependent on him. He always remind me to be strong and be independent of him emotionally. It took me a month to realize that and make a step for the better.

I was left with two choices: 1. to continue loving him more, lose myself in the process, be paranoid, and be this oh so dramatic or 2. be a totally independent woman (emotionally), get back my logic and myself, the person he fall in love with before.

I went for choice number 2, and life has never been better. I draw the line on our relationship as to what is acceptable and if he can take it then he deserves to stay if not he is free to leave.

Before when I was doing the loving him more, paranoid, etc. our relationship becomes shaky and it is as if he does not want to see me anymore or spend time with me. But when I make a decision to do number 2, be independent of him emotionally, the effect? He sees me regularly, we work and eat together, and our plans soon to realize.

We both have separate lives, have our own individuality and eccentricity. Yet, when the two of us are together it is as if we found the missing piece in the puzzle called life.

[lejean]

TS wish you luck and I hope that you will not get hurt in the future

Love does not hurt sis, it is just our expectations of the person we love that make us hurt. I don't expect him to change or be the kind of guy I dreamed of. I love him for what he is yesterday and today and what he may become tomorrow.

Our relationship is a work in progress. A lifetime is not enough to know a person, so I take every single day as an opportunity to know him more and love him the way I know how.

If you see the movie 50 First Dates (Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore), my bf makes me fall in love with him every single day. He loves me the way he know how and not I want him to be.

[Passport]

mao ni siya gi tawag og casual relationship

more like Caustic if you look deeper...

[monrose29]

this is why i love istorya.net, being around since 2003... i been to a roller coaster love life... posting here and there.. some of you knows the story behind my handle.. at the end of day lessons learned.. this kind of topic and comments helps us to get through with acceptance, open minded, be patience, loving the imperfect person...

[imyourninja]

I wish it's that easy having to be in that kind of relationship but I dont think I can keep up with that. Im glad you guys did.
I guess it all boils down to understanding and compromise. It's what its all about.

[Vanillaskies]

Was thinking of a relationship like this before because there are times that i get bored with my soo good boyfriend and yet very seloso to the point that even tapad lang nako sa jeep kay lalaki mura syag masuko, how stupid that would be.

If only the relationship was that open, i can handle that. But having *** with others is way too over the limits. He can flirt with everyone and have textmates but having *** to others is a No-No to me.

[dansoi_1234]

Are you married? If not, siguro ok rani imo relationship.. Pero if married namo, lisod kaau ni especially kng naa namo kids.. Sympre karon ok pa ky wla pa may laing madamay.. And para nko even if dugay namo, bati ra ghpon ni nga relationship ky dghn ni doubts bsan mo ingon pka mo sulti xa tanan, di ghpon ka sure ana.. And for you na gi tolerate na nimo ang iya pambabae, mura nimo xa gihtagan ug rights to disrespect you.. kng ur inlove with each other dpat NAA jud mo RESPETO sa usat-usa..