Post your funniest jokes here!!!

[liarsys]

---

Amahan ug anak nagkuyog og pagdaro sa ilang umahan.

Anak: Tay gabi Tay!.
Amahan: Saba diha, unsa goy gabi nga mais man ning atong gitanom.
Anak: Ang imoha ba nagbitay!
Amahan: ay buslot diay hehe

[liarsys]

Mare 1: Grabe na jud ko ka kalimtanon oi, misaka gani ko ug hagdan, mo-hunong ko kay malimot ko kung paingon bako taas o sa ubos.
Mare 2: Ako? Simbako lang...(with matching knock 3 times on wood), dili jud ko limtanon. Excuse me sa ha kai murag naay nanuktok!!!

------------------------------------------
Sa pharmacy....
Boy: Miss, palit kog kondom.
Tindera: Sayz sir.
Boy: (gihinay ang tingog pahunghung) hmmmmm...small lang miss
Tindera: Dili sir, kbaw ko gamay kag otin, ako pasabot tag sayz pesos ang usa ba..
---------------------------------------
After s3x with a college girl...
Mayor: Hmmmmm how much?
Girl: P200 pesos lang sir.
Mayor: What? how can you live with P200 pesos?
Girl: Ay sir, sideline ra ni nako, blackmail man jud ako business...bantay ka ni mam ha?
-------------------------------------
Titser: Class, what are the different colors of bananas?
Juan: Mam, green, yellow, red, and brown.
Titser: Gago jud ka, naa bay brown nga saging?
Juan: Gaga sad ka, ang linung-ag diay piki na!?
------------------------------------
Sexy girl nangumpisal. ..
Pari: Iha, unsa may imong sala?
Girl: Father, ug makabati kog lalaki nga mamalikas, di nako mapugngan makig-s3x niya!
Pari: Buang, ka leche gud anang sala-a, peste! Ataya nuh!
-----------------------------------
Lola: Honey, nabantayan jud nako bah nga kung mangape ta, mag-init dayon akong lawas.
Lolo: Nganong dili manginit, tan-awa ra gud na imong totoy, natuslob na sa kape!

[wenlove24]

ambot ug nakadungog na ba mo ani...

POWER OF LOVE... Bahalag saging basta labing..
Bahalag mais basta ang gugma tam-is....
Kaysa humay unya mag cge ug away...
Bahalag magkaon ug dukot basta dili lang gubot...
Bahalag mag sud-an ug ginamos basta ang gugma tim-os...
Mag-unsa manang adobo kung pirmi galagobo...
Bahalag magkaon ug kamunggay basta nagka hinigugmaay!!!

ANG MOTO-O.........PASMO!!!!....

[melmusic23]

ambot ug nakadungog na ba mo ani...

POWER OF LOVE... Bahalag saging basta labing..
Bahalag mais basta ang gugma tam-is....
Kaysa humay unya mag cge ug away...
Bahalag magkaon ug dukot basta dili lang gubot...
Bahalag mag sud-an ug ginamos basta ang gugma tim-os...
Mag-unsa manang adobo kung pirmi galagobo...
Bahalag magkaon ug kamunggay basta nagka hinigugmaay!!!

ANG MOTO-O.........PASMO!!!!....

nice one hehehe

[BiKho]

Mare 1: Grabe na jud ko ka kalimtanon oi, misaka gani ko ug hagdan, mo-hunong ko kay malimot ko kung paingon bako taas o sa ubos.
Mare 2: Ako? Simbako lang...(with matching knock 3 times on wood), dili jud ko limtanon. Excuse me sa ha kai murag naay nanuktok!!!

------------------------------------------
Sa pharmacy....
Boy: Miss, palit kog kondom.
Tindera: Sayz sir.
Boy: (gihinay ang tingog pahunghung) hmmmmm...small lang miss
Tindera: Dili sir, kbaw ko gamay kag otin, ako pasabot tag sayz pesos ang usa ba..
---------------------------------------
After s3x with a college girl...
Mayor: Hmmmmm how much?
Girl: P200 pesos lang sir.
Mayor: What? how can you live with P200 pesos?
Girl: Ay sir, sideline ra ni nako, blackmail man jud ako business...bantay ka ni mam ha?
-------------------------------------
Titser: Class, what are the different colors of bananas?
Juan: Mam, green, yellow, red, and brown.
Titser: Gago jud ka, naa bay brown nga saging?
Juan: Gaga sad ka, ang linung-ag diay piki na!?
------------------------------------
Sexy girl nangumpisal. ..
Pari: Iha, unsa may imong sala?
Girl: Father, ug makabati kog lalaki nga mamalikas, di nako mapugngan makig-s3x niya!
Pari: Buang, ka leche gud anang sala-a, peste! Ataya nuh!
-----------------------------------
Lola: Honey, nabantayan jud nako bah nga kung mangape ta, mag-init dayon akong lawas.
Lolo: Nganong dili manginit, tan-awa ra gud na imong totoy, natuslob na sa kape!

[melmusic23]

Si KITTY og si Boggy...these are the two famous characters you won't miss to hear every time mosakay ka og jeep.... mosyagit ang konduktor "si Kitty og si Boggy lang be para makasod pa ang uban, kuwang pa nag 3 ang wala... si Kitty og si Boggy lang palihug.... hehehe

[xtianubec]

Anak: tay cnu mas matalino ang anak o ang Papa?
Papa: eh syempre dapat ang papa.
Anak: cnu nag embento ng telescope.
Papa: si galileo.
Anak: eh bakit hindi papa ni galileo ang uminbento?
Papa:


Nagsabihan ng lihim ang tatlong pari…
Pari #1: Sa inyo ko lang ‘to sasabihin. May nabuntis akong parokyana.
Pari #2: Ako naman, bading. May boyfriend akong sakristan.
Pari #3: Ako naman, madaldal.

[xtianubec]

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.

It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"


The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having *** with a boy.

The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.

The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Are not you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they had show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!"

[john_yo]

A man buys a lie detector robot w/c slaps ppol hu lie. He decides 2 test it during dinner.
DAD: Son, where wer u 2day during skul hrs?
SON: @ Skul. Robot slaps son!
SON: Ok, I lied, I went 2d movies.
DAD: W/c one?
SON: Toy Story.
Robot slaps son agen!
SON: Ok, it ws porn.
DAD: Wat?! Wen I ws ur age, I didn't even know wat porn was. Robot slaps Dad!
MOM: 4giv him dear, after all he's ur son. Robot slaps mom! hehe..ü

bwahaha.bokingay?

[iProvide]

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.
She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"
The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."
So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I‘d give you a hundred buck just to see one."
Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I‘ve got to see both of them. I‘ll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."
Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.
A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."
Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"...